thoughts of a sober white women

I almost missed it!

2012-01-23T18:09:00.000-08:00

While I was laid up people kept asking me what I needed. I really only "needed" one thing and that was one of those pillows with arms. I would just make it so much easier for me to sit up and even get some sleep. However I was not going to ask someone for that.

So i put a post up on freecycle and asked if anyone had that pillow. Even while being sick, I am still cheap, and I am still trying to be green. Its me and that will never change. Anyway, one of my girlfriends saw my ad, and she shot me an e mail asking me if i had gotten any response. I told her that I had not.

A few days later my girlfriend, who works with low income and homeless people, stopped by to pick up some food for a family in need. i was so shocked to see her walk into the house carrying a huge bed bath and beyond bag. I can't believe she went out and bought me the pillow!

Another girlfriend texted me and said "I am target and I am getting you something, so what do you need?" I had her get me some snack crackers and coke, which I did need. I still felt bad by taking something for someone else.

I found out that women's Bible study was getting ready to start, and i really wanted to go. I miss those ladies, and I really needed the encouragement. So one of my girlfriends picked me up, and off we went. When i go to Bible study i try to sit with different people, so I can grow and get to know other people.

Some how the subject of me came up, and how I did not ask for help after i had my surgery. I told them that I find it hard to ask for help, because i am the one that people come to for help. You need food? ok let me clean out my pantry, you need?.....I am always there to help, so taking help is very hard for me. Then an older reserved lady said "you know when people off er to help you need to let them, because you could be denying them the right to be a blessing."

I shut up. She was right. I really need to work on accepting help, in any form. This is a lesson I need to learn, and I have a feeling that I will have plenty of time to work on it.

My hubby continues to be my caregiver, and my rock. He continues to change and pack my bandages. I would love to complain and say "Rusty, I can drive myself to the store, Rusty I fold the laundry, Rusty....." I just can't complain because my husbands love me and he is doing everything he can to keep me safe. I am blessed and I have the best husband ever!

why did they wake me up?

2012-01-20T15:20:00.000-08:00

When I came out of surgery, well I felt good, I was sleeping good and I felt no pain. The the nurse started calling my name. I should have never answered them. I felt so good in that deep sleep.

I am awake. I have two deep holes in my chest. Yep, both breast have holes in them. Today I finally looked at my breast, and I just wanted to cry! I have never been a super model, but to look in the mirror and see two holes, just made me want to cry.

When I called Rusty up and told him that I was ready to have him pack my holes, well I just started crying. I told Rusty that i was so sorry that he had to look at these ugly holes every day.

I cant wear a bra. I wear ace bandages. Yep, we pack my holes, and then add more gauze's, and wrap my chest with an ace bandage. Yes, everyone it is just so sexy. The other day i was looking for something to wear and I pulled this shirt that I loved. I just shoved it back into the drawer and started crying. I cant ware that shirt because between that shirt and the ace bandage not only would I look like i have any boobs but the shirt would make my chest look more deformed.

The surgeon say that I am healing good. All my test came back as cancer. We were so happy about that, that we forgot to ask what exactly is going on. The cat scan shows a major infection and the surgeon said that I still have a long road a head of me. I have another appointment next week, and this time I will remember to ask the surgeon what the hell is going on. I would love to know how I got this infection.

I am still moving real slow. I still have no appetite, and I get worn out just by doing simple task. I am told that this will improve with time. I hope so.

What I have learned so far: That i must slow down. That my husband loves me no matter what. I have learned that I am not super women.

my rock

2012-01-14T21:53:00.000-08:00

This week has gone by so fast that I am not even sure where to start. Last Sunday night I said to Rusty "baby my boob hurts, so I am going to the er, I will call you if I need a ride home." I been waiting to go to the e.r. because I wanted to wait until Jan 1 so all my money would go to this years deductible.

Not only was one breast swollen and sore, but the other one was starting to get that way. I figured they would give me some meds and send me on my way. OH they gave me antibiotics and pain meds via iv. So I had to call Rusty to call and come get me. On Monday I went and got my prescription's filled and started a hunt for a doctor that would take my champ va insurance.

Wednesday night I went and saw a family practice doctor and he was shocked had swollen my boobs were. The doctor thought he was going to drain them, but I assured him that without some extreme pain meds, he would not be draining them. I went on to explain that the last doctor that tried to drain them without strong drugs ended up pitting a line in me and giving me very strong meds. The Doctor and the nurse were in shock. They just could not believe that i was walking around with swollen boobs, and that i have been walking around like this for so long. The Doctor gave me a prescription for Oxycontin, and they set me up for an ultra sound. May i say for the record that oxy is a wonderful drug.

Thursday morning I got up and went in for my ultra sound. Then a lady comes out and asked me if i had ever had a mammogram. I told her yes, and then she asked me if i wanted to get another one done today. I tried to explain to her that I was there for an ultra sound and nothing more, but she kept trying to get me to say that i wanted a mammogram. NO bitch I don't want a mammogram. I have puss dripping from my boob and I will be damned if you are going to press my boobs between two plates!

I got home from the ultra sound and I was in pain, so I took a pain pill and laid down. No sooner had I laid down that my phone rang. It was the nurse from the doctors office. She had found a surgeon that would be willing to me, but I had to be in his office before 1 pm. OK i can do that. Rusty got dressed and drove me over there.

What I did not know at the time was that the surgeons fax machine was about to catch fire! He had every doctor, and hospital fax over every record from the past two years. The doctor knew more about me then any stranger had a right to.

After looking at my breast, we went and got Rusty and we decided that surgery would be the best way to handle this. I was immediately taken over to the e.r. and was admitted to the hospital. After sever test and some really good pain drugs, all I can remember is the nurse saying my name and trying to wake me up. I wish she would have left me a sleep, because I was in no pain while i was a sleep.

silly Rusty!

2012-01-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Rusty and I went to an estate auction. I saw a ton of stuff That I wanted to bid on. Rusty well not so much. So I went and got a number. Silly boy, I can bid without you!

Rusty walked away to answer a phone call and when he came back I was in the middle of a group of guys. all he heard was sold to 116. Then the item was up for bidding. That was when rusty spotted me going toe to toe with a group of guys! Then Rusty heard sold to 116. I walked away with a grin on my face, and that was when it hit Rusty. He said "What all did you buy?"

Well if he must know, I bought a table that i thought would be perfect for my new sewing room, and a dresser from the 1940's. Then i was off to inspect some more items. Rusty was running around trying to keep up with me.

Once again Rusty walked away to answer a call, and he came back to find me bidding on a copper top built in bar! Sold to 116! Rusty shook his head and asked if i had really bought it. Yep. Then he wanted to know I planned on getting it out since there was cement holding it to the floor. HMM I am thinking sledge hammer.

We got the table and dresser home, and I started cleaning them up, and I got some wood conditioner on them. The table is amazing! It has a leaf in it, and then we found the makers stamp. Turns out that it was made in the late 1920's and it was made right here in LA. I am still thinking it will look nice in my sewing room, Rusty thinks cash in his hand would look better. We will see.

This morning we went to destroy the bar. Rusty was still grumbling about this purchase. OH just grab some tools and lets go. It only took us an hour to destroy the bar. Turns out that the copper was thicker then Rusty thought. Turns out the foot railing was all brass. We took the copper and brass to the recycling center and we tripled what I paid for the bar! Suddenly Rusty was smiling, and he said "I had my doubt, but that was a good call baby!"

The above picture was taken on Nikkis graduation day. Sometimes I still can't believe that she moved to Oklahoma!

A year before she moved a marine named Stephen asked Nikki if she wanted to go hang out. Nikki said sure, but asked him to pick her up at the beach, since we had already made plans to go.

Nikki and i had a great day at the beach. For the most part we had the beach to ourselves. So we walked down to the river, collected shells, picked up trash, you know normal things. The one thing we forgot to do was to put on sunscreen, so we were burnt to a crisp.

Nikki called Stephen and asked him to pick up some lotion before he came down to the beach. OH Stephen showed with the biggest bottle of lotion we had ever seen, but it was also Nikkis favorite type of lotion.

Nikki and Stephen left. They had dinner, went to a movie, went bowling, and Stephen got back to base just in time to change into his uniform, and grab his gear.

While Stephen was deployed Nikki went on with life. Stephen and Nikki e mailed, and once in a while they were able to skype. Then Stephen came home, and can we say that the rest is history.

Stephen got out of the marine corp, and Nikki followed him out there. Rusty and I are very happy with this choice. Stephen is a good guy and he is just what Nikki needed.

I miss Nikki, but I talk to her all the time, I send her care packages every month. I don't care how old she is, she is still my kid, so I need to send her my love. Rusty and I are going to go visit them in April, and I can't wait to see her!

Life is good

the babies reminded me

2012-01-04T15:27:00.001-08:00

These two cute little ones are Brice (bubba) and Sissy, and every time I see them I do nothing but smile.

Over the last couple of years I had met their mom and dad,( Kristen and Jessy) but just in passing. Then on day they all come over to house. Rusty needed help with something, so he asked one of friends, and our friend brought them over.

At first I could have cared less either way. I had a massive infection in my boob. I was on meds and I could not lift my arm without being in unthinkable pain. I was really in no mood to entertain company or chase children around.

I had just asked Rusty to pull my hair back when everyone walked in. Kristen looked at Rusty and laughed and ask "Just what are you trying to do?" Kristen came over and took the rubber band out of Rusty's hand. Then the guys went to the garage. Great. Now i have some strange women playing with my knotted, dirty nasty hair!

Then out of the blue Kristen says "would you like to brush your hair?" Girl, i have a ton of curly long hair that has not been brushed in a week, but sure you can give it a shot. So i went and got the brush. I have a tough scalp. I guess I have gotten use to people pulling my hair out while they try to brush. (and because my grandmother would turn the brush around and thump me on the head if I moved)

Kristen did such a great job, and it did not hurt one bit. Then she says "would you like me to wash your hair?" What? Is this chick for real? I went and got the shampoo and conditioner, and she got to washing my hair. It felt so good to have clean hair. After she brushed my hair again Kristen said " would you like me to trim your hair?" All I could think is "who are you and why would you do something nice for me?

Well Kristen got out her scissors and she trimmed up my hair. I had no idea she was a no shit beautician!

After all of that was done, I made us all some pb&j, and filled our glasses with milk. The kids acted as if i gave them a gourmet meal! Then i offered them some cookies. Yep, I think that is when the kids started to like me.

Kristen and I took the kids out front so they could play, and we sat and talked. OH we also laughed at whatever the guys were trying to do. Anyway, Kristen turned out to be a sweet hart, and the babies, well they are just amazing.

What i find amazing about the "babies" is the fact that they have remind me of the simple joys in life. Weather that is eating cookies and milk or playing bubbles in the front yard. Over the summer Kristen and I would meet at the beach and once again the babies showed me the simple joys of life, like covering your feet with sand, or watching the fish jump.

Kristen taught me that there some people who are just really good people and who want or expect nothing of you. These are the kind of people I NEED in my life. I am so blessed to be Mrs. Kelli, and to be able to spoil the babies, and I am even more blessed that their parents are now our friends.

Now I just wish they were not in the military. They should be moving this summer, so my time with all of them is limited.

So for now Carpe Diem!

here I am

2012-01-03T19:58:00.001-08:00

Here I am. I made it through another year. I took a break from blogging, and then I started video blogging about my health issues. Those can be found on my you tube channel. Then I stopped blogging all together.

Last year was full of learning, and changing my mind.

Lets start with learning. I learned that some people will walk out on you when you need them the most, but I also learned that other people will walk in when you need them the most.

I learned that I raised very strong girls who have turned into driven young women, and for that I am so thankful!

I learned, again, that life is about living, and I got back to it!

I learned that I do not have to agree with my mother, but she is still my mother no matter what.

Changes, well there have been many. While doctors want to do nothing about my breast tumor and cyst, I changed my mind set and got back to living a full life. One of the best things I did for myself was to get back into the ocean and start body surfing again! I now have to wear a wet suit to help keep sand out of my open sore, but hey at least I am back in the water.

I have changed my mind on my hair. I said that if I did have cancer that I was going to cut it off and donate it. Now I am waiting for it to hit 36 inches and then I will cut 10 inches off. I have never in my life had long hair and I am really enjoying it.

Chris and Nikki have changed locations, so I had to change from mom to long distance friend. Chris is now stationed at Cherry Point, and Nikki moved to Oklahoma with her boyfriend. Yes you read that right.

I am ready for this year. I have walked a long hard road the last few years, but that's o.k. I always tell my children to handle everything with grace and dignity because other people are watching, well I must have done the same thing because this year people have told me that they have been watching me. I am glad that I took the high road even when I did not want to.

My goal for this year is to get back to blogging. Not for me, but for my children. They know I blog, and I want them to have these blogs long after I am gone. I also want to try something new every month. I need to push myself to get out of my box and my comfort zone.

Life is good,

2011-09-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

I wonder if this will work?

a slow season

2010-10-09T20:12:00.001-07:00

I lost one

2010-10-01T13:11:00.001-07:00

cancer free

2010-09-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

good spirits

2010-09-14T20:17:00.001-07:00

tahe really hurt

2010-09-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

driving fast

2010-08-26T13:25:00.000-07:00

still no drain

2010-08-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

boob gets stabbed tomorrow

2010-08-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

pandoras box

2010-08-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

these meds are so bad!

2010-08-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

my left boob

2010-08-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

interview and coke

2010-07-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

almost there and bread

2010-07-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

the flu and the babies

2010-07-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

it is going good

2010-07-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

really? fast day 1

2010-06-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

chris is home

2010-06-21T08:47:00.001-07:00

tomorrow I will be 40

2010-06-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

I love my children

2010-06-09T20:14:00.001-07:00

adultery

2010-06-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

way to busy, but that is o.k.

2010-06-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

wild animals

2010-05-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

special olympics

2010-05-21T20:40:00.001-07:00

lets chat

2010-05-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

volunteer

2010-05-13T20:41:00.001-07:00

worn out

2010-05-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

mothers day flowers

2010-05-10T15:12:00.001-07:00

my web cam

2010-05-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

my baby is 18

2010-04-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

happy dance

2010-04-15T10:41:00.001-07:00

keep your word.

2010-04-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

blogger ate my blog

2010-04-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

where have I been?

2010-03-17T17:20:00.000-07:00

I am strong.

2010-02-10T16:55:00.001-08:00

I know that a person should never ask why, and for the most part I don't. You have to take the good with bad, and share your experiences with other people. I know that. I get it.Right now I am going to go into melt down mode. All of the marines call me mom or SgtMajor of marine corps base Lake Elsinore. Thats me. Mom to any marine that walks into my life. I also put them in line when they step out of line. Thats what I do.Last month I had one of the marines mom contact me and ask me how to send a red cross message. The wheels in my head started turning. I know this. I have delt with death and the military before. Think Kelli Think. O.K. I got my thoughts in order and and I told her how to do it. She had to send a red cross message to her son who kinda busy fighting a war. We talked. I tried to comfort her.Last night my phone rang, and since I did not know the number I sent it to voice mail. A few moments later Amber cam in and said you need to get up LeeRoy is on the phone, his sister just died.Crap. Grab my glasses, robe and Rusty's slippers. I went outside to call LeeRoy. There was big bad marine crying on the phone to me. His sister finally lost her battle with cancer. She was 26 and she left three small children behind.My mind goes back to just a week ago when I told LeeRoy everything that he needed to do. You got to get home, take care of your mom. Most off make sure the little ones are surrounded by love and support.Then Leeroy says "We went and made all the arrangements... before she died. Mom do you know how creepy that is?" Yes my dear son I do I did the samething for my dad."Mom I can't believe my sister just died. We should be laying our parents to rest, not each other." Yes my son. I know that as well. Remember last year when I laid my sister to rest."Mom here is all the info will you please call everyone and let them know?" Yes my son I will do that for you.My shoulders are going to break. Oh wait they can't. I can handle anything because God would not give me more then I could handle. It just seems like a lot.

I think I need a job.

2010-02-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

This mom and house wife gig is getting old. Last night I got the whole house cleaned up, because I was going to grocery shopping, so when the hell?

I got up this morning to my kitchen just trashed. The dogs got into the trash and Nikki decided to cook something at 10 p.m. last night! She was even kind enough to leave everything for me to clean up.

For some odd reason I got up when Rusty did and I just looked at him and told him that I am giving him my two weeks notice and that I am done with this gig. He just laughed. Nikki overheard me and said "Please don't go back to work". Are you kidding? I did I lot less work when I did work.

I want one of those little machines that tell you how far you walk in a day. I know I would run circles around anyone in this house.

There was no sense in bitching about it. I just dove in and got it done. I even defrosted the freezer and got it all wiped down. It really was not that bad considering the freezer is almost bare anyway.

Tomorrow I have no choice but to go grocery shopping. I chose not to go today because it is raining here. I don't mind driving in the rain, its all the other stupid people on the road that bother me.

Yesterday I got a little quilt top done. I wanted something little but funky to cover a little end table. It looks so cool. I need to get some more smaller quilt tops done, so I can lay a ton out all at one time.

Why are young people so stupid? One of my marines has decided that he is going to get married this weekend. What? He met this gal on line and they have only seen each other for two months. I will not allow this marriage to happen, I don't care if I have to hog tie him and keep him in the garage. Sometimes young people can be so stupid.

I took up another challenge, beside my baking everything from scratch. I am eating my way through my pantry. At first I thought this challenge would go by quick. First you get rid of any expired food and then you have to eat what is in your pantry, and make do with what you have.

My pantry is very deep, and there was a ton of food in there, and to be honest there was more food then I thought. I did have to buy the basics like sugar and vegi's, but we are still eating out of the pantry. It is amazing how much money I am saving and it has made me realize just how much food we do have.

Last night I was trying to find something for dinner. I ended up grinding up some meat and making hamburgers. No, I did not have hamburger buns but we had other buns, so we ate them up. Now I had to find stuff to mix into the ground beef. There in my pantry was two things of bread crumbs. Really? I can't remember the last time I used bread crumbs. Anyway everyone liked the homemade hamburgers better then the store bought kind, so I guess I will keep making my own.

My laundry is calling me, so I better get on it.

my chest.

2010-02-03T17:35:00.000-08:00

I swear the last two weeks have been hell on me. First my tumors were bothering me and now I got a damn sinus infection. I guess it really isn't and infection since the stuff I am blowing out is not green. I have been using a lot of old wives tales and they really work. At one point I thought my teeth were going to pop out of my head, now I can open my mouth and kinda chew.

Anyway on to my chest. When I turned 16 I asked my dad for a ceder chest, and he bought it for me. I loved that thing, and I have toted it around the world. I really wanted my great grandmothers chest, but I was told no that I could not have it. My great grandmothers chest was huge. and there is just a treasure trove of stuff in there.

Well last weekend Nikki had her winter formal and she asked me if I had any gloves. You know "the old kind that the ladies wore. They would go up past the elbow." As a matter of fact I do. I went into the garage, and cleared off the top of my ceder chest, and attempted to open it.

I started digging. I found my first sleeping bag, some of the girls baby stuff, old photo albums, a note my dad wrote me, and then there they were the gloves. Nikki jumped for joy, but in the end she wore the little Jackie O style gloves.

After Nikki left I went back out to my chest, and I pulled out my sleeping bag. It has raggedy Ann and Andy on it. I folded it just right, and then I hung it next to Rusty's great grandmothers quilt. The marines and Rusty were just looking at me. I finally said "This is my first sleeping bag and I have a picture of my grandmother helping Santa fix it up right. I can either let it finish rotting in the chest or I can hang it up and get some joy out of it, and then throw it away."

Rusty just smiled and said "I have never seen that before". Yep I believe it. That chest has been a taboo place for anyone but me. Those are my memories and no one needs to be in there.

Oh dear Lord I just turned into my mother! My mother has the chest that I wanted, and I asked her one time if she even knew what was in the chest. She said that she knew some of the stuff, including the dead relatives, but most of it she has no idea about. There are family pictures in there, and we don't know who they are! No one ever took the time to pass along all this information.

Here I am with my own chest. It is full of memories and if I don't start telling my children about this stuff then they will never know. I have a note in there that my father wrote to me when I left for Europe. Before I left I told my dad to step off and that I hated him. Then when I landed I called him and told him that I hated him and that I was never coming back. I then went and unpacked my bags and I found a note from dad saying that he hopes we can have a wonderful relationship when I get back. There was also $800 in there.

I need to tell my children these things. I also need to clear out the junk. Today I went into the chest and grabbed out two photo albums. I started flipping through the pages and I realized that what I once thought was valuable is now trash. Why do I have pictures of people I will never see again, or of people that I did not even like back then. I took out some of the photos, and threw the rest away.

Its funny. When I got that chest and I started putting stuff in it I thought that was the most important stuff. Now I am looking at it and discovering that it is not important and that is important is right here in this house right now.

On another note. Rusty got his dream job! I am so proud of him. We are still waiting to see what is going to happen with the house.

a very calm Friday night.

2010-01-29T20:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through another week. I have been busy this week, but it seems that I have done earth shattering. Right now I am just enjoying the sound of nothing. Rusty is sitting next to me reading a book, and Ryan is watching t.v. Everyone else is gone for the night.

Tomorrow is the first weekend of fund raising. I am bracing myself for another long year of raising money for Nikki's mission trip. This year she is going to the Philippines. I can't wait for Nikki to go. I know that may sound strange, but I love the fact that my daughter has these opportunities. I am also glad that Rusty and I have learned to just roll with the punches.

Amber got an upsetting phone call today. One of her friends is in the hospital, and it looks like she may be delivering her baby almost 7 weeks early. Amber is trying to figure out what she can do, I told Amber to keep her bum at home. I swear Amber is going to hack up a lung, so she does not need to be around them. I did tell Amber that I would be willing to take over some dinners or do what ever. All she has to do is let me know what she needs.

I had a flash to when Amber was born. Amber was born early by a crash c section. I almost lost her. Man I so know this gals pain. I don't think Amber knows how scared I was. I was 19, alone, and I had no help. I was as scared as any person could get, but I somehow made it.

Ryan's IEP went well I guess. We have another one coming up in a few months. That is the one that really scares, because we will have to send Ryan to high school. The school system also says that he is not as retarded as then originally thought even if his score are very low. I just gave them the dear in the head lights look. I swear I should be allowed to smack those people.

On a good note Ryan principal walked up and handed me a piece of paper and told me to sign it. Now Ryans principal and I go way back, so I had to wonder what she was up to. I signed the paper and handed it back to her. The principal starting smiling and she got so excited. I finally asked what I just signed. She said "Special Olympics are coming to our area and you just signed Ryan up track and field!" I am so happy. Ryan was so thrilled, and he said that he is going to have to run the dogs more. I am just so happy that he finally found something that he likes doing.

I have been feeling bad the last few day's, so I have been spending my afternoons in la la land. I know that this will pass and soon I will be back to myself. I do not regret choosing not to have surgery. I do not regret the choice to heal my body with food and herbs. If I can keep all my body parts, and only be sick every once in a while, then I am going to do it.

I wrote a blog entry for reduce footprints, so if you want to go check it out, she is listed on my side bar. I announce in there that I have finally come up with a new challenge for myself. I heard a saying that said " If your grandmother would not recognize it, then you should not eat it." So this year I am giving up boxed cookies and cakes. I am going to get back to the basics and do more baking from scratch. The only scary thing is, I have never made a red velvet cake from scratch, so we will have to see how that turns out.

I learned a lot from my no spending diet, and it has changed me forever, so I will have to see how this whole baking from scratch thing goes. I know I will have to be more prepared and I will have to really make sure that we have staples at all times.

We the Chinese food I ate is not settling well, so I am going to go to bed. No sex tonight, but maybe my dog will let Rusty snuggle with me. Yes, my pit sleeps between us and is I am not feeling good he will not let anyone near me. Its like he knows something is wrong with me.

another day.

2010-01-27T08:05:00.000-08:00

I have been busy trying to go through the house and do even more purging. The sad thing is there really is not alot left to purge. However I look around all the stuff we have and the thought of moving it just make me sick. I wish I could throw everything away and just take my pets.

We still have not heard weather or not the owner of our home is going to try to save it, so I need to assume that he silence is speaking volumes. Why us? We pay our rent, we don't complain about anything, and yet here we are again. One of my girlfriends said why can't this happen to the house full illegals? Good question.

I am still not stressed over the situation, I just don't want to move. I want to stay here and let Nikki finish out this year and next year. Once Nikki graduates high school I don't care if we move out of state or out of the country.

Tomorrow I have an IEP meeting. Oh the joy's. I don't know why I even go to these meetings. I fight so hard to do what is best for Ryan and the school just ignores his IEP and the teachers do whatever they want. If Rusty and I were rich then I would hire a lawyer and the school district to court, for breaking a contract. We don't have that kind of money and I think the district knows that, so that is why so many IEP's are not followed. Why is having a handi cap child so hard?

Rusty is working some long hours this week. I feel so bad for him. Rusty works so hard to provide for this family. We are still waiting to hear weather or not he got his job. On Sunday Rusty got a call saying that he needed to fill out more security paper work. I just can't believe how hard it is to get a top security clearance. It was not this hard when he was on active duty.

Well, I need to get moving. I do have the kitchen cleaned up and part of dinner is done, so at least that is something. OH and the sun is finally shining and I am thankful for that.

I am sitting in the house that love built.

2010-01-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

Yep. That's him. That is my Rusty. Rusty is the man I was meant to marry and he is and always will be the love of my life.

Today was nothing special. Rusty and I went to the commissary. It is not something that Rusty enjoys, but he enjoys being with me. It was pointed out to me that Rusty and I are becoming that cute old couple that you always see.

Tonight Rusty grilled, and he made my favorite type of sausage. Then while I was finishing the mac n cheese he turned on the t.v. to the music station and they were playing some really good old school country.

I was just standing in the kitchen when a tear ran down my face. A song came on that reminded me of my dad. Who was there to catch that tear? Rusty just hugged me and he reminded me that he missed his dad as well. I guess that is something else we have in common. We both miss our dads.

Rusty is teaching Chris and his friends how to play poker. We have only been his parents for a little over a year, and here we are hanging out with his friends and teaching them how to play poker. One of Chris friends brought is guitar over he has been jamming out between hands.

Today we took my ever faithful Butter to petco and then to Starbucks. I am so amazed at how far he is coming. One day soon I will be able to go take the test to have him trained as a therapy dog. I am going to change peoples views of pit bulls.

If I could save time in a bottle I would save today. I am sitting in a house that was built on love, and that is filled with love and laughter.

a dog needs to run

2010-01-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I actually got video of my bog,, Butter, sitting and the sofa and crying. He was sitting there looking out the window, and the wind was blowing his deflated basketball's around. This poor baby really needs to get out and run. He is getting cabin fever worse then any animal I know. Now don't get me wrong, he has been going out, but Ryan has not been able to run him.

Rusty is on his way home, and he said that everything went well with the top security stuff, so we find out one day next week if he gets the job. Oh pray that he does.

I want to strangle out Chrises recruiter. This guy made all the wanna be marines strip down to shorts and t shirts and go outside and pt for a few hours. Before Chris left I told him that if the weather was bad to just come home, but did he? NO. He said the recruiter told him that he had to stay. Well great. Now the boy is getting sick and he has no medical insurance. Am I allowed to smack the recruiter?

Last night I finished a quilt for one of the marines and I also got a baby blanket done. I do have to do the hand stitching on the baby blanket, but I am saving that so I can do it while I am watching tv. I only have one more quilt to get done before the marine deploys and then I will be all caught up. I started cutting material for another quilt in hopes that maybe I can get ahead of the game.

I am going to do as little as possible this weekend. We do have to go up to the commissary, but other then that I am going to do nothing. I was thinking that maybe if we got a break in the weather, that I might go down to the lake and pick up all the trash. I am sure the wind as deposited a lot of trash there. I would also like to maybe pull some big weeds that we have in the back yard. After all the ground is so we they should just come right up.

Well I better go fold all our laundry, and maybe curl up and just chill for a while. Since it is Friday, and I don't cook on Fridays, I am pretty much done for the day. No my family is not starving today, they can either heat up leftovers, or go buy something! LOL

rolling with the punches.

2010-01-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

Well it has been raining a lot here. I am not going to complain because we do need the rain, and the rain has not caused us any damage. Also when I saw the storm system moving in I purposely left some things undone since I knew I would be stuck in the house.

However my dog, Butter is not liking this rain at all. He is use to going for a run every day, and being able to go play in his back yard. I did get some video of him playing in the streets while they were flooded. It was as if he said "Hey mom thanks for bringing the lake to me."

Yesterday Amber and I went to do some running around and when we got home I saw two notices taped to the door. Yep. That's right the owner is letting the go, or so we think. I grabbed the notices and immediately went over to the property managers office.

Now the thing about going in there, is that our friends own the property management place. They were just as shocked as we were, and they said that they were going to try to get to the bottom of this.

So now what? I am not sure if we have to move again or not. Rusty did not blow a head gasket, but he is not happy. I am just sitting back and waiting to see what happens.

Two years ago I would have lost my mind. Now the new me is showing through. I know that everything happens for a reason, and while we may not want to move I know that if we do have to move that it will be for the better. So who knows when or if we have to move.

Tomorrow Rusty has to go finish filling out his top security clearance paper work. Rusty use to have this clearance when he was on active duty and I don't remember it being this hard to get one. Oh well. We are one step closer to Rusty getting his dream job and that is what is really important. We are still holding our breath and hoping that nothing last minute comes up.

For some reason I got up way to early, so most of the house work is done already, and that leaves me with plenty of time to sew. I need to get two quilts put together and then I want to try this new technique that I saw on you tube.

Lets rewind here. Last year I was on a mission to find a way to reduce the cost of my quilting. I started using old blankets as batting, and the marines I like it so much better, because they are thinner and yet warmer.

So last week sometime Amber and I were at this new thrift store and I bought a ton of blankets. I brought them home and washed them up. Crap one of them was an old electric blanket. Oh well. I hung it up to dry and I thought well I can let the pets use them. I must have walked past this blanket a million times before something caught my eye. Their at the bottom of the blanket were the cords. I pulled on them. That was it. That very night I went and got a pair of wire cutters and I started pulling and cutting all the wires out of the blanket.

When it was all done I was amazed that people actually used these blankets. They don't look all that safe. And the little heating things, ..... oh no those did not look safe either. I picked up all the wire and those heating things and I walked up to Rusty and said "would you like me to sew these into your next quilt?" Rusty could not believe his eyes.

I went outside to smoke and to throw away those wires when Rusty followed me. He asked me why I took apart and electric blanket. So i explained to him what I was doing with those blankets. To my great surprise Rusty said "Well you know that all makes sense and that is recycling at its best."

Yes it is. The blankets I am using are polyester. Polyester is not a natural material, therefore it will never break down. Unlike the cotton and bamboo batting, which marines can seem to mess up in one deployment.

My friend made it through the funerals and I think the family is going to be o.k. It is kinda sad that the marine could not come home, but there is nothing we can do about that.

I better get my bum in gear and finish up a few things so I can go sew.

let it rain

2010-01-18T15:01:00.000-08:00

Well it is raining here in the socal. We don't really get a lot of rain so when the rains do come it all just runs off. I would love to go to the lake and watch all the water flow into it, but the weather is just to bad. The wind is just whipping. It has already blown over my swing and I think we are going to loose a tree. This weather is suppose to last all week. So I am just hunkering down and riding the storms out.

Amber went to Vegas last week, well she was gone from Thursday to Sunday. She had a good time and she got to meet one of the guys I grew up with. This is the same guy that Nikki got to meet last summer. Amber was just so set on meeting him because Nikki and I spoke very highly of him. Amber is finally getting out of her box and trying new things and I am so proud of her for that.

Well, a few entries ago I talk about one of the marines mom's that called me. Well Sharon, the mom, called to tell us that the red cross massage was sent. I have not talked to the marine, but his mom says that he is holding up and that one of the marines Ssgt has taken him under his week.

Sharon called me today, and she just wanted to talk. I so understand that. Sometimes you just need to talk to people that are not involved in the situation. Sharon also said that all of the relatives are crawling out of the wood work, and trying to see what they can get. I so understand that one as well. I have to wonder why you go to a funeral and it turns into a family reunion.

I will be calling Sharon all week long, just so I can see how she is doing. The wake is tomorrow and then the funeral is Wednesday. I am just glad that I can be her rock and yet still make her laugh when she wants to cry.

I have a ton of house work planned for this week. I did that on purpose since I know I will be stuck inside all week. One of the major things I want to get done, is sort through my quilt tops and my material. I need to put them in separate crates, so it will be easier to see what I do and don't have.

Today I cooked dinner for the rest of the week. I know I am strange, but it just easier for me. Tonight we are having manwich and chicken Alfredo. I cooked up the meat for the chili and for the spaghetti. Then on spaghetti night I will make extra sauce for pizza night. I have found that if I take a little bit of extra time and cook and dice, and get stuff prepped, then cooking dinner goes much more smoothly. I will be using my crock pot a lot this week.

Well I need to go get in the shower before all the guys get home. I just hope that Rusty takes it slow. I am tempted to call Amber and see if she is o.k., but I can't. One of the marines picked Amber up and they went mudding, so I am just hoping they are o.k. Nikki and one of her girlfriends went to the movies, but the other girls mom drove, so I feel safe with that.

Man this weather is nasty.

how I do it

2010-01-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

I am often asked how I do so much. Yesterday Lori from Dusty pages found me on the fly ladies facebook page. Now if you have never heard of the flylady or if you have not been there in a while go check her out at flylady.net.

I have been following her for a while and she has really helped me. The fly lady says we need to take baby steps, and she suggest we declutter our home for 15 min. a day.

I am way past that. I hate to dust, so I have no nick knacks. My husband often say's it does not look like anyone lives at our house, but it easier for me to keep it clean. Here is my routine.

I wake up I straighten up our bed and head straight to the bathroom. I grab some mouth wash, and my clothes. While I am going to the bathroom and swishing my mouth wash, I am putting on my sock, undies and jeans. I then go spit, brush my teeth wash my face and finish getting dressed. I refill the cat's food bowl and their water. I grab some cleaner and wipe down the counter. I then go back to the bedroom and put on my shoes, and clean out the littler box. As I am walking out the door, I grab my bag of cat nastiness, and any dirty laundry. I throw the laundry in the washer. If the washer is full then I start it.

I head to the living room to clean out that box, and then I grab my first cup of coffee. I run a sink full of hot soapy water and I load up any dishes that are there. Then I wipe down the counters and the table.

Next I head to one of the living rooms. I straighten up the sheets that cover the sofa's, or if they are dirty I change them. I then hunt for the remotes and put them back where they belong.

Next I head to the dinning room. Everything seems to get put on the dining room table, so I sort through all of that stuff and get it put away. With the exception of my sewing stuff. The other living room is connected to the dinning room, so I head over to that sofa. I have to kick the dogs off that sofa, and I get it straightened up, then the dogs get back on it.

Once all of that is done I check in with all my friends, and I go see what the flylady has us doing that day.

Yesterday she had us washing down our doors and baseboards. So I got a bucket of hot soapy water and I started on my task. I also ended up wiping down the cabinet in one of the bathrooms. We have three full baths.

After all of that is done. I am done.

I have four children living in this house and they are expected to help keep it clean. I do not Amber, Chris, or Nikkis laundry. They are "grown", so they can do their own laundry. Ryan is responsible for bringing his laundry out once a week, and I will wash, dry and fold his laundry, but he is responsible for putting it away.

Ryan like routine, so he has set chores. Ryan must: unload the dishwasher, take out the trash and recycling, and walk the dogs. On Monday, Ryan goes around and gets all the trash cans and empties them, and if needed he will put a new bag in them. He will then take our trash cans to the road.

The other children are given a daily chore. Yesterday I had Amber go around and clean all the glass and mirrors. Nikki had to clean all three toilets.

Sunday is the day I make everyone give me an hour of their time before they go anywhere. Sunday is the day I change out all the sheets that are one the sofa's. I also pull up all the throw rugs. We sweep and mop all the the floors, replace all the sheets and rugs. Then everyone is given another chore.

Now none of this is set in stone. I will sometimes have to mop during the week. The vacuum gets run everyday.

As far as dinner goes, I usually have something pulled out the night before. If it is going into the crock pot then I do that while I am cleaning up the kitchen. If it does not go in the crock pot then I usually cook dinner around noon. We don't live in the 1950's, and we very rarely eat together. So if I have it done everyone can eat as they are coming and going. Chris is responsible for packing him and Rusty a lunch. He will pack up any leftovers, or make them sandwiches or something.

Before I go to bed, I walk around and grab all the dish towels, wash clothes and whatever is is dirty and I throw then in washer.

For me it is all easy because I have gotten rid of the clutter, and things that I don't need. I still walk around with a box and get rid of stuff. I know that I need to go through my winter stuff and get rid of more of it, because I have not worn some of that stuff yet.

Once summer hits, and the children say, "Hey mom lets go to the beach", they KNOW that they must help me get the house in order and we must have dinner done before we walk out the door.

I hope this helps people to better understand how I can do so much. I can do a lot and take care of my family, because I have gotten the routine down, and because I don't do things for my children if they are able to do it for themselves.

lets help

2010-01-13T15:47:00.000-08:00

busy with nothing

2010-01-10T20:02:00.000-08:00

The other day I stood over my table and I just started cutting up all my scrap material. When the bag was full I asked the girls to make some baby blankets out of them. It was kinda neat watching the girls dig through all those squares. I then suggested that if there was enough there that they could lay out a quilt for the missionaries. So that is what they did. Now I have to sew all those darn squares, but it will be a labor of love.

I noticed today that our days are finally getting longer. I am so happy! I am so wanting summer back. Tonight I was talking with one of the marines and I mentioned that I really needed a pair of gym shoes, but I am just hoping that summer will get here so I can go buy flip flop instead.

Rusty is taking tomorrow off. He applied for a job down on base, and it looks like the company is going to make him an offer. This job would be so good for our family, and for Rusty. Rusty is going to try to finish up the last little details, and then we are hoping he will be starting Feb.1. Lets just all pray that nothing comes up.

I have heard from some of the boys and it looks like they will be coming home in time to really kick summer off. I can't wait. I got a letter from one of the marines and I wanted to cry. I love hearing from my boys, and I can't wait to hug them again!

Tonight I was ironing some quilts when I realized that I was done with two of them! I am not sure how that happened, but it is done. So I laid another one out. Once I get these three backed I will be all caught up!

I am watching my girlfriends cat's until the end of February, and let me tell you it is not going to come soon enough! One of the cat's is not fixed and it is driving me up the wall!

Well I stink, so I need to go shower and go chill. Nikki and Ryan do not go back to school until Tuesday. I just can't believe how long their breaks are. Then again it is California, and our schools do suck, so I guess I can believe it.

the beach

2010-01-08T10:47:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I had to take some foster babies back to base, so I grabbed Nikki and we headed out. When I asked what everyone wanted to see, a lot of people said the beach. So please sit back and enjoy my beach video.

just thinking

2010-01-06T19:54:00.000-08:00

here is my bathroom and my bedroom

2010-01-04T18:39:00.000-08:00

ask me anything

2010-01-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

O.K. I got a video camera for Christmas. So go a head and ask me a question or ask to see something. Ryan and the marines are off limits.

For the record my new years eve sucked. I sat on the toilet with a bucket in my lap! LOL

What a ride.

2009-12-29T14:43:00.000-08:00

Well our family has made it through another year. How we did this I don't know. I must say that this year was filled with a lot of good times.

I had the pleasure of meeting several of the marines parents and they were just so much fun. I also spent a lot of time at the beach. For me that is always a good time. I also remembered that a good time does not have to coast a lot of money.

Rusty and I have grown more and more in love. I never knew that was possible, but it happened. I am so glad that I have him in my life and that he is the one I go to bed with every night.

I have been looking into the future and I know this year is going to be a great roller coaster ride. I am gearing up for it, so maybe I will be able to fly through everything with grace.

Amber has been on my last nerve since Christmas. If she makes it through the next year I will be excited. Now don't get me wrong. Amber is a good kid. She is not pregnant or doing drugs, she is in college, but man she needs a good dose of reality. Ambers ex boyfriend Sam is now back in town and they have hooked up again. Since Sam got back in town Amber has been treating me like dirt under her feet. When I talked to Rusty about it he said "She is trying to play adult, the sad thing is she does not know the rules of the game."

I see Amber heading for a very hard time. Soon Sam will go back to N. Caroline. Then what? Amber will be back here going to school and hopefully working. I could sit here and tell Amber how hard long distance relationships are. I could tell her that Rusty and I are the exception and not the norm. Most military marriages don't last. I could tell her all of this, but she wont listen to me, so I am not wasting the valuable oxygen on her.

Nikki will be 18 this year, and she has her tattoo picked out. It will be of a mouse and she is getting it on her foot. My dad use to call her a mouse, so he is getting the mouse in honor of him. I don't care if my children get tattoo's. I told them that as long as they live here they can only get a tattoo if it can be covered by clothing.

Nikki is going to try to go on two mission trips this year. She wants to go to the Philippians and to New York. Let the fund raising begin. Some how some way she always comes up the money and I have faith that it will be the same this year.

Ryan will be going into high school this fall. Rusty and I are not sure what high school we want him in. When it comes to Ryan every decision is very hard. Before Christmas break Ryan had a complete evaluation. I guess the results were good or bad depending on your point of view. His scores were very low. The good news about that is that he now qualifies for more programs, the bad news is it looks like Ryan will be living with us forever. Who knows what the future holds?

Chris got his ship date pushed back. It looks like he will not be leaving until mid April. That is cool with Rusty and I, but Chris is not so happy, because he wants to move on with his life and right now he is in limbo.

Chris had a great year. This time last year he was homeless, and now the world is his oyster. He has a home, food, clothing, and a motor cycle. Yep on of the marine GAVE him a motor cycle. Yes it did need some work, but it is up and running now and he could not be happier to have his own wheels.

As for me. Well I have some changes that I want make in my life. The first change that I am making is in my giving. Last year and this year we were not really able to adopt a family for Christmas. So I asked Rusty to please bring home some big boxes. In the past I had big boxes set up and throughout the year I would fill it with stuff and then those boxes would go to the family that we adopted. I am going to go back to that.

I am really trying to get my quilting priorities back in order. I still have to get some quilts done for the marines. I will need to make some quilts for the mission trips and I want to do the baby blankets. I need to find balance in all the sewing that I want to get done. I am also going to have to take a huge leap of faith in committing to these projects. My material stash is almost gone, and the last time it was almost gone people gave me material, and I am going to assume that this time will be no different.

I also want to try to learn more about the ocean. I go there so much and I do know a lot about it, but I would like to learn about some of the plants that wash up on the shore.

Well I need to get moving. Tonight Rusty and I are going to go have dinner with the triplets parents. It will be nice to sit down and actually have a conversation with other adults.

so it is

2009-12-26T20:02:00.000-08:00

I have not writing much because for the last few weeks my life has been strange. Not in a bad way but in a way that is starting to annoy me.

1. If your daughters get two very expensive purses for Christmas, and all they can say is.... well this is more expensive so I will use this one. Well, I should have the right to return the purses and buy myself something.

2. If a wine glass breaks and you throw it away and then your husband pulls it out of the trash in hopes of gluing it back together.... just because it has the marine corp logo on it.... well I should have the right to finish smashing it with a hammer.

3. If a person is employed and owes $4,000 in credit card debt, and they can't put food on their table, well I should have the right to return the $300 worth of stuff she bought just because it was on sale.

4. If a person is employed and their car is not running that great, and they are getting out of the service and they are not sure if they have the gas money to make it home.... well they sure as hell should not be spending $150 on a new coat.

5. If you bitch and moan because I will eventually put Ryan in a group home, but you can't give up 20 minutes of your day to stay with him.... well, you should just sit down and shut the fuck up.

6. If you buy us more wii crap and wonder why no one is excited, well maybe you should have listened and not bought us a wii.

7. If you buy the largest cat box that you can, and your fat cat still tips it over, you should have the right to wire his jaw shut.

8. If you post on facebook that you and my father would have been married for 44 years. I SHOULD have the right to post back and scream stop the lying! You were not married that long, you were not married until right before I was born. You need to stop this lying to protect the bastard child. She is dead. Instead I said nothing.

9. When your uncle asks is children to look me up and facebook and then introduces me as his cousin.... well he should really be smacked with the family tree. I am your niece.

10. When life happens you should have the right to just go to bed and not have any questions asked. So before everyone starts asking questions I am going to go to bed.

mixed emotions

2009-12-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

Over the past weeks this war has really hit me hard. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the war. Instead I try to stay busy. I do superficial things, like send Christmas cards to the boys, clean the house, talk to the boys mom's, and sometimes just wish they they were here. For the most part my day's march on.

So why then am I know questioning everything about the war? A few weeks ago I found out that a dear friends son was injured in Afghanistan. My heart broke and I just had to pick up the phone and call. We talked and we cried. I got a quilt for the wounded warriors and had it sent out. It was a small token of love and a small way to say thank you. Today this dear friend wrote on my facebook wall telling me that her son is home and doing as well as can be expected. I had joyful tears come to my eye's.

Then the other night hubby and I were sitting on the front porch and he said "I miss the boys." I just smiled and said that I missed them as well. That was when my husband confessed that he wishes he was over there with the boy's. He wants to go back to war. He wants to be the one leading the boys into battle.

While I cannot judge my husband and while I cannot ever know know what it is like to go into battle, I do have to wonder. I wonder if I will ever not be his mistress. For years I have been placed behind the marine corps and I foolishly thought that once he retired I would not longer be the mistress.

I don't understand. All I do know is that I am glad he is retired and that I will no longer have to pack him off to war. I am glad that he will be able to spend all the holidays with us. Most of all I am glad that my husband trust me enough to confide his secrets to me. The secret is he wants to go back.

Another girlfriend sent me a link to a homecoming that one of our service received, but it was not the homecoming the family wanted. Instead everyone got to watch the flag draped coffin roll past. He got a hero's welcome, its just a shame that he had to die to get it.

Yesterday Nikki yelled "mom check your facebook." There is was in black and white. A dear friend was hurting because she just found out that one of her friends was killed. I picked up the phone and called her. The whole time I was praying "Lord please give me the words". They never came. I told her that I was willing to pack up my porch swing and fly to her so we could sit on the swing and have a good cry. She laughed and said she would like that, but that it was to cold to do that.

How can I have so many emotions? On one hand I so happy that my girlfriend son is home, and on the other hand I am so sorry that my friends are hurting because they lost a friend.

However everyone that knows me knows that I don't let things keep me down, so I have been thinking about I can better serve our military. I know, I know. I already quilt for them, I feed them, I have their families stay here when they are in town..... I know, but there has to be something more I could be doing. My brain is going a million miles a minute trying to figure it out. I know people with the rough riders. Maybe I should start riding with them. Maybe I should......

On another note, I think I am fighting off a cold. I just have no energy and I ache all over. I do not have time to be sick.

I have a big over stuffed chair that sits next to the computer desk, and I just looked over to see my big pit laying there asleep. I have been thinking about training him to be a therapy dog. I really need to get off my bum and do it. I want to do it to prove that not all pit's are mean, and to prove to myself that I can do it. Hubby says his best trick is where's momma. if you ask you he will take you to me.

Well everyone is home, and I should go make sure that everyone eats.

year end eco recap.

2009-12-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

This year was a year of growth and a year of trying new ideas. I started my eco friendly Friday's, not save the earth but to save me. I was on a mission to save money and to do my part to reduce recycle and reuse.

Now I have not always put the planet first, but I did try. The last week or so I have been busy doing stuff, and some , O.K. a lot of my cheap and eco ways have kicked in.

I bought no wrapping paper this year. I told everyone that we will use what we have on hand and after that you can get creative. Sometimes that can be hard. We had three rolls of that clear paper that had little designs on it. O.K. I will use it and I will show everyone that you can wrap something in clear paper. First I found some old tissue paper and I wrapped it around the gift and then I used the clear stuff over it. I also discovered that at the end of the roll was brown paper, so I also used that to wrap gifts.

Then there was the tree issue. I got over ruled and everyone wanted a real tree this year, so that is what they got. Threw some twist and turns we ended up with a free real tree. But we had no base for it, and I was not going to give in and go buy one. I was racking my brain, and then I remembered what one of my girlfriends does. She would take a deep bucket and put the tree in the bucked and then fill it with sand and then pour water over the sand. So off to the garage we went. We had a cat litter bucket that hubby was using, so we dumped his stuff out and I sent the girls to the lake to get some sand. I must say that it is very sturdy, and as of yet we have not had a cat climb the tree, but I am sure it will happen.

I was talking to the dogs one night and I asked them what they would like for Christmas. I know one of the dogs, butter, wants a new basketball, but what could I get for our old girl? I really wanted to get her a bed since she is not moving that well, but I don't want the hassle of trying to wash a pet bed. Then it hit me and I am now on a quest for a crib mattress. A crib mattress sits low to the ground, and I can cover it in blankets, which would be easier to wash. I can also slide the mattress under our bed when she is not using it. I found a crib mattress, but there is one problem with it. It is brand new! My girlfriend is going to give me her mattress, but her daughter never used it, and that mattress is top of the line. So once I get the mattress I am going to find someone who has a crappy mattress and trade them.

Butter is young and full of energy and he is very hard on his toys. He got a basket ball last year and he still has it. It is deflated, and the skin is gone, but he still plays with it. Then one of the marines said that he has a basket ball that has a tiny hole in it so it wont hold air for long. Perfect. There is butters gift.

Earlier this year I cleaned out all of my winter clothes, and I can tell you already that I will be getting rid of more clothes. I seem to only wear the same few sweaters and sweatshirts, so at the end of winter, I will be downsizing even more. I am just so amazed at how much clothing I had, how much I still have and how much I can live without. It actually feels good to have less, because I feel like I have more.

Well everyone, keep doing your part, and please tell me what you have done this year, and what ideas you have for the up coming year.

sometimes life just happens.

2009-12-10T11:14:00.000-08:00

Monday I was suppose to take one of the marines back to 29 palms. I got up and got some stuff done around here, and then we headed for the gas station. The marine asked if he could buy me gas, so I said sure. A few moments later I looked at him and asked what he was doing? He was putting diesel in a gas car. I called Rusty and he told me to drive straight home and park the car. That is what I did.

We waited for Amber to get home and then we took her car. It was a good thing we waited to go up to 29 palms. If we had left when we originally wanted to we would have been driving through the eye of a massive storm. It was also good that we waited because we got to have a snowball fight in the desert. Now how many people can say that?

Yesterday Chris decided that he was going to drain my gas tank. UMMM O.K. so he gets busy and he comes in and asks me if we had anything he could dump the diesel into. No I am trying to think without sounding like I am stupid. I guess a gas can is to big to fir under the car.

So I go out to the garage and I take a look around. I called Rusty and I said " I have a stupid question for you. Will diesel melt plastic?" Rusty just said "Well I don't know but you can try it and if the plastic tub melts then you know it does."

So Chris gets all of that done, and he says that he is going to walk up to the gas station and get more gas. I got dressed and walked him. It was not a bad walk, maybe two miles of so. We also had to get a new fuel filter, so it was a good thing that there was an auto zone across the street from the gas station.

It was nice to just walk and talk to Chris. He thought it sucked that we could not drive there, but I told him that it did not bother me, because I use to walk everywhere. We were a one car family until about 8 years ago.

Chris finally got everything back on the car and he showed me the old fuel filter, and man it was gross. It was a good thing we went and changed it. The more I think about it the more I realize that the diesel being in by accident was a very good thing for us.

You know what else is kinda funny? Rusty and I. When I called Rusty to tell him that I was leaving for 29 palms he said "O.K. baby. Be safe and stay on the main roads." I actually listened to Rusty. Sometimes I don't always do that, but this time I did and it was a good thing I did, because I later found out that the back roads were all flooded out.

The other day Ryan came walking and he looked like something off the nerds movie. I just shook my head. Two months ago Amber and I cleaned out Ryan's clothes and now he has grown again! I swear I can't keep up with him. Think Kelli think. So I called one of girlfriends son's and asked him for all his "old" stuff. He brought over some really nice stuff for Ryan. The thing with Ryan is, is he is just so damn skinny! So is my girlfriends son, so he hooked Ryan up and showed him how to cover up the fact that his jeans bag, even with a belt on. So I guess it all worked out in the long run.

Today I am trying to air the house out and get some laundry done, because we are suppose to get another massive storm moving in tonight. I don't mind the storms as long as I don't have to go out in them. I think tomorrow will be a good day to just hunker down and do some sewing.

really now?

2009-12-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying that I had the privilege and the honor of entertaining two young men that just go back from Afghanistan. These boys were so happy to have a home cooked meal and a beer.

One of the marines Amber and Nikki have known most of their lives. It is strange how a child they would play with every summer, a child who lives in Chicago would now be a marine living just two hours from us. It really is a small world.

My children are on my last nerve. I am thinking about lowering my expatiation's. Maybe then I would not be disappointed.

Amber bitched at me because I would not drive to 29 palms when she thought I should. She is mad at me because she had to work and could not spend that much time with JT. Amber is still mad that I am not in the mood for Christmas.Last time I checked it was not her that was driving 4 hours, and paying for the gas. It is not my problem that she has to work. That is called life. As for Christmas I just told her "You know I use to love Christmas and I use to decorate the whole house. You guys bitched and said it was to much and that all of our stuff was ugly. Now I give the opportunity to decorate for Christmas and you still bitch." Amber shut up and walked away. No decorating has gotten done.

Chris is just not listening to anything. I know this is typical shit, but I am so sick of it. Today when he got up I asked him to please do a few things for me. I asked him to put the spare tire and the jack back. I asked him to load all the stuff that was going to the good will, and to go to the store for me. Thats it. That is all I wanted and yet none of it got done. O.K. let me get this straight. I just paid for a new tire to be put on the car. I pay for the insurance, and I give him free liberty with the car, yet he can't do a few simple things.

Nikki does not know which end is up. She thinks everyone is to blame for her problems. I am still trying to figure out I am responsible for her failing chemistry. I am still trying to figure out how it is my problem that she has to spend all of her money on fast food. I cook every night, but it is not good enough for her.

Ryan can't figure out that it is cold, so I have to inspect him every morning. He does not have common sense to put on long sleeves and a jacket. I swear if that boys asked me to let make another ginger bread house I am going to scream. We made them last year, and he just watched as everyone else made theirs.

I still miss my boys, and the children don't get that. Last night I listened to JT and his friend talk about the horrors of war, and my mind went straight to all my boys. I know that my boys are cold, hungry, and unsafe, yet I don't think the children understand this.

Well, I got the kitchen cleaned up. I am sure I will be expected to cook dinner.

I got the carpets cleaned in the living room. I guess I am going to put presents under an undecorated tree.

I guess I am going to go to the store and get the stuff I need. This will please Rusty since I will have to move his seat and steering wheel.... you know since Chris has my car and he still has not done what I asked.

I swear life with four teens is just so much fun.

baking and guns

2009-12-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was determined to have a good day.

I found out that one of my boys is heading back home! Yes. He will finally be home. He was suppose to be home for Thanksgiving, and he missed that, but he will be home for Christmas. He asked Rusty and I to go to a bbq with him and then he wanted to come back here. I told him that I would be there for sure, and we would have to look at Rusty's work schedule.

Yesterday Chris turned 19. We did not do anything big and fancy. I made him the dinner that he wanted and we got him something small. He had a great time, and we were thrilled to see him so happy.

Yesterday I also found out that I will be getting two new foster babies today! I cant wait. I love having babies in the house.

Amber ran to a friend of ours, and her daughter was selling candy outside the grocery store. So Amber bought a bar and my friend told Amber that she will be baking on the 22, so I better bring my Christmas platter over so she can fill it for me. YUM.

I also found out that my mom is sending out my dads bb guns, so Santa is going to bring them for the girls. I also saw a bb gun that I wanted to buy Ryan. Yep Santa has lost his mind this year. He is bringing the children guns for Christmas.

Then when I logged onto my facebook account I saw that a dear friends son was injured and is now in a hospital in Germany. Damn this war. I just sat there looking at the screen and wondering how and why this happened. I knew what I had to do, but see, I have never met this lady we only know each other through blogs and facebook.

I saw that she was on line and I i.m.ed here and asked her if I could have her number. She gave it to me and we talked for a while. This morning I sent here family several links to help them find the resources that they would need.

I just knew I had to do something. I just could not, not reach out. Everyone out there, please remember that we have boys and girls fighting in a war, and some are about to leave. Let's not forget that this holiday season.

I made it.

2009-11-30T06:59:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was great! For the first time in a very long time everyone pitched in and it went very smoothly. Ii had a lot to be thankful for this year and as I sat down at the table and looked around I saw all of my blessings.

I kept my phone close to me and I was hoping that the marines would call. One called at midnight and it was so awesome to hear from at least one of them. I have heard through the grapevine that everyone is doing good and that is all that matters to me.

On black Friday I was suppose to go down and visit with that marine. I was so looking forward to a picnic on the beach, but she blew me off. That's o.k. I found other ways to occupy my time.

I had Chris drop off all the quilts I made for the seniors and they loved them. I told Chris that was not to give them my name, number or anything! He said they were shocked. I also had Chris pull a name off the tree for me.

Another marine and I hit a thrift store and we bought a few puzzles. I think we ended up doing five puzzles this weekend! It was nice to just relax and do something that I like to do.

One of our dear friends, Jim and Dolly, called Rusty and I and asked us to stop by on Sunday, so we did. I grabbed Chris and had him go with us. I wanted him to meet some real good people. Not to mention that Jim has a gun collection that most men would kill for!

We get over there and I head straight for Dolly who is in the process of decorating her tree. Dolly has knee surgery and it has made her knee worse, so I did all the bending for her. It was so nice to chat with a dear friend and to be able to help her all at the same time.

All of the guys talked about guns. That is all I really know. Dolly and I just rolled our eyes when they would talk about guns. Sometimes we just don't understand guys.

Chris said that he was glad that he went with us, and he said they were some of the nicest people he has ever met. That was my point. I like introducing Chris to people with high morals and integrity.

After that we went to the commissary, and that is always a load of fun. I did not do to bad, I had 20 dollars in coupons and only spent $260! Not bad for a family of 6, and that will last us about two weeks.

Last night I asked Chris for the name he pulled from the tree. I had to laugh and I told him that he pulled a good name. I got a lady by the name of Mary V, and she wanted hand lotion, a blanket, and a puppy calender. I had just bought a big thing of hand lotion, I have a Christmas quilt that is done! Now I just need to go buy here a puppy calender.

The children are waiting until this weekend to decorate. I do hope they have fun doing it. I may have to break down and help them, or I can remember that they are grown and can it themselves. We will see how it goes. I am however doing a deep clean on the living room so that way everything will at least be clean before the decorations go up.

OH! Dolly was showing me these ornaments that her daughters made, and they are so cute and so easy. So that got me to thinking, and I have come up with an idea for all the deployed boys. They are going to be so cute and I can't wait to got them done so I can show them off.

Well, life is calling me. I need to start the laundry, and start my day.

moving on

2009-11-25T09:27:00.000-08:00

Well here it is. Another day and another opportunity to change my life. It is up to me weather or not I make good changes or bad changes.

Yesterday I called my mom and we talked for a while. We talked about a lot of our issues. I still do not agree with my mother that she should be raising children again, but my mom said something that really struck a cord with me. She said "If you had died I would have raised your children, but you are lucky enough to have a man that loves your children and would take care of them, and I would not have to raise them."

Last night I was telling Rusty that I spoke with my mom, and reminded him of something that he had said to me. Rusty once said "if you die I would not let your mother take the girls from me. I would fight for them." Then I told him all about my mom's and mine conversation. A light bulb went on.

My children may have been the cast off. My children may not be the chosen children. However my children have something that the chosen child does not have. My children have two parents that are alive and love them more then anything. What price tag do you put on that?

I am still not in the mood to celebrate Thanksgiving, but in my true fashion I am going to put a spread on the table. I will sit next to my husband and I will listen to all the laughter. Life goes on.

One of the marines will not be coming to dinner. She is not in the mood, and I so understand that. So, On either Friday or Saturday I am going to drive down to the base and get her. Then I am going to surprise her with a picnic on the beach. I bought some sparkling cider, and I am going to take down some cheese and cracker's, and some grapes. I even going to take down wine glasses and china. We are going to sit on the beach and spend some time on our terms.

The marine does not know any of this, but I think it will be good for both of us. I need to stop sinking in self pity and go do something for someone else.

Life is good.

break down now?

2009-11-23T19:28:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is two days before Thanksgiving, and all I want to do is cry.

I was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, cleaning out the fridge, and listening to a cat scream, when it all hit me. Thanksgiving is in two days. I just grab a flat of eggs on put them on to boil.

I am standing there watching everything cook and I just could not figure out why I dread this Thanksgiving.

Could it be because I said I did not want to do it and yet here I am cooking a turkey, boiling eggs, and thinking that I still need to go to the store and buy stuff so Amber can make the pies.

Could it be because I have had problems in my personnel life. I laid my sister to rest. I watched mymother pull a 12 year old off her mothers coffin. Could it be that everything surrounding my sisters death has made mine and my mom relationship even harder?

Could it be that in one of fits of rage I threw my phone at Rusty and yelled "You are so lucky to have both of your parents dead and you have a brother that you have not seen 16 years". I know I hurt Rusty that day, and yet he just grabbed me and gave me a hug.

Could it be that most of my boys are fighting a war that I do not agree with. Could it be because one of the boys won't be bringing his baby to dinner. I guess that is a little hard for him considering he is in the middle east.

Could it be that I am looking at the cost of college going up? I can't believe how much I am going to be paying out right before Christmas. I swore that no matter what I would provide my children with a college education. I can hear rusty right now. He is my mind saying "you need to ask your mom for your inheritance". I will pay for my children's education even if it means me going back to work with a drug dealer. I just need to remember to not drink the coffee.

Could it be that I found out that a couple will be coming to dinner.... and I did not invite them, nor do I want them here. There is not much I can do about that now. But I would love to just lay into this couple and give them a good what for, but I don't think making a scene is the way to go either.

Lets just hope that I can remember all the things I have to be thankful for. Right now I do not see that happening.

I just want this whole holiday to go away. Why can't I just go sit on the beach and watch the sun go down? Maybe I would even roll a big fat one. To me that would be a perfect day.

My Eco Thanksgiving nightmare

2009-11-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

I had said that I was not going to do the holidays this year. I am so not in the mood. Then I had a nightmare.

I dreamt that Rusty woke me up on Thanksgiving to ask me how to defrost a turkey. That is not to far from the truth, he would do that.

Amber has been breaking out some decorations in hopes that I will get in the mood. So last night I gave in. I told everyone that I would do the turkey but nothing else.

Turkey. Erma Bombeck was right we are the only country in the world that takes fresh bread, makes it stale and then stuffs into a dead bird.

Turkey. Can I get one with in a 100 miles? Well, yes I could. I could send hubby down to the beach to kill one. There are several flawes in this idea.

1. hubby said that once you hunt man, you can't go back to hunting animals.

2. hubby would have to walk on the sand, and he hates that.

3. the beach is on base and there is no hunting on base.

4. Even the of obstacles were not there, hubby would bring home a dead bloody animal and expect me to know what to do with it. Hello I am a city girl.

So I will be going to the store to buy the turkey. Last night I called everyone and told them what to bring. I am not seeing this as a very eco friendly holiday.

I will use organic cleaners to clean the beer pong table. I will use china and cloth napkins. I will not have to turn the heat on because my house will be hotter then... I could make the guys pee outside to save on water. I will be able to save on dog food because I am sure they will catch anything that might fall from the table.

O.K. so Norman Rockwell would not paint a picture of our Thanksgiving, but it will be ours. I will do my best to make sure everything gets recycled, no food will go to waste, and most of all I will be able to spend some time my family..... marines included.

Wasn't it Erma Bombeck who also wrote the book "Family: the ties that bind and gag"

what about the new year?

2009-11-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

Over the last few week's while my life was turning upside down, I really tried to focus on other things. One of the things that caught my eye was a show called the 100 mile challenge.

This show was on planet green and some people from a town in British Columbia could only eat food with in a 100 miles of their home, and they had to do this for 100 day's. Rusty and I talked about and we said that if we had to we could do. We are very blessed to live in southern California where we have a lot of food that is local.

So now I am looking forward to the new year and I am trying to think of another way to challenge myself. Could the 100 mile challenge really fly in this house? Well..... it could if I did it a little bit at a time. Rusty has to have his meat and he does not hunt any more, so I know our meat would not be local, but what about the rest of the meal? This is something I could do say once or twice a week and my husband would not complain.

So I thinking that once or twice a week I will do only local meals with the exception of our Meat. Now this also translate into one or two lunches a week that will fit into my 100 mile challenge.

As I sit here and look back over the last year I have reached my goals. I made all my blankets, and my no spending diet went great. I have learned a lot from both of the goals that I set for myself.

From the blankets I learned that I have to schedule in the time to make these works of art and I had to keep my eye on the goal. Twelve blankets for the shut in's. I can't wait to deliver all these quilts!

From the no spending diet I have learned just how much I can live without and how much I do have. I must say that I have gotten creative with some of my meals, and I have caught myself telling the girls to use what they have on hand. My mind has been stretched and wallet remained closed.

I am sure that at some point my children have learned something from watching me, and I hope they carry that with them.

Today I feel like crap. My ear is killing me. I know it is not infected, I know that it is just all this crazy weather we are having. As usual life and time march on even if I don't feel good. I did manage to get the house cleaned up, make dinner and tackle the pile of paper work that has been sitting on the desk.

I think the most important thing I did was chat with one of my boys. I always love hearing from them.

Well I hear the bed calling me, so I better get to it. Tomorrow is another day, and I am sure that it will be filled with all the usual and then some.

all for the love of my boys

2009-11-17T11:36:00.000-08:00

I am sure there is something I should be doing, but I think I have been silent enough.

In the past few weeks my world has been turned upside down. In the past two weeks I have shipped 7 boys off to war. A war that I do not agree with. A war that will forever change them. They may have left as men but I know they will come back as men. I know that my boy's are cold, missing their families and most of all a new reality is being forced upon them.

For me I am taking it one day at a time. Sometimes I am taking it one moment at a time. When I want to cry because I am missing my boys, I go cry on Rusty's shoulder, I remember the good times, and I tell myself that they are o.k. Even if I do not know if they are o.k.

Before Ben left we went over to see Deb and Popi. I know Ben. He was going to want to sit and speak Spanish, he was going to want that little comfort. We spent several hours with Deb and Popi, and before we left Deb and Popi wanted to pray over Ben. I told ben to call his mom and put it on speaker phone so his mom could hear us praying. Popi and Bens mom spoke for a while. I have no idea what was said because I do not speak Spanish. Then Popi prayed in Spanish, and when he was done Bens mom prayed over him. I did not understand what was being said, but I know that I felt the holy spirit move. Then Bens mom started crying. I said that I did not mean for her to cry. I just wanted Bens mom to be apart this. Deb assured me that she was crying happy tears. This lady was just so thankful that people were praying over her son.

Rusty and I had an anniversary. We went to the Birch aquarium, and then out to lunch. I gave Rusty a bottle gentlemen Jack and one of the kittens. Rusty does not know why, but he fell in love with this all black long haired kitten, so I am letting him keep him.

The kitten is in getting fixed today, and Rusty's day is crazy so I am going to go down to base pick up this kitten. I told Rusty that I would go in the morning, but he really wants his cat home tonight. Is Rusty a grown man or a child?

I had to go back to Ryan's school and raise some hell today. I swear that Ryans teacher is brain dead.

At Christmas we always let the children pick out their own ornaments. Every year since the children were born they had gotten a new ornament, and we now have to many to hang on one tree, so they have to choose. However that would leave Chris out of the loop. So while we at the aquarium I saw the huge glass sea horse ornament. It was perfect. Chris is a beach and ocean person just like me.

When we got home I pulled Chris aside and told him that I did not want him to feel left out, so..... and I handed him the ordnament. He about cried.

Well I need to get on the road. Rusty's kitten is waiting on me.

my mind is full

2009-11-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

My mind is full of choices. I have to choose my direction very carefully.

All of my boys have a ship date. Yep, here I go again sending. I am sending boys off so they can come back as warped men.

When my phone rings I look to see who it is. If it is one of the boys I so don't want to answer it because I know what they are going to tell me. I answer the phone and I stay cheerful. I ask all of them "Do you have your will's done? Do you have all of your allotments done? Do you have any loose ends that need to be tied up, do you have all your cold weather gear?" Then I tell them that I will be there to see them before they get on the bus.

What I want to do is to answer the phone crying. I want to beg them not to go. I would be a basket case. I can't do that. I have to stay strong for them. I know they are scared. I know that they don't want to leave.

I also know of a person who is hiding from her comment. Yep, she joined the service and is now in desertion status because she does not want to deploy for a year. I get it. I would not want to deploy for a year either, but I did not sign on the dotted line in a time of war. Do I turn her in or do I do nothing? I have been trying to stay focused on what is at hand. What is at hand right now is seeing my boys off.

I could talk to Rusty about all of this, but I am not sure how far that would get me. Rusty say's stuff like "they are marines and marines go to war." Yes they do and I still think it sucks. I am not sure what Rusty would say if he knew about the chick that is running from her obligations.

One of the marines that is not deploying until the spring asked me if I would be interested in working with habitat for humanity. I just kinda smiled. That was on my bucket list. Yes I would like to do that. I don't have a lot of skills, but I am willing to learn and I am willing to help. So, he is going to get all the info and we are going to go volunteer with habitat for humanity. I figure that will keep my mind off everything going on here, and I will be giving back.

Rusty and I are suppose to go another ball. To tell you truth I so do not want to go. I am really not in the mood to celebrate anything. Part of thinks that is wrong, but the other part of me does not care. However since Rusty asked me to go order the cake, and do a few other things, I will do it for Rusty. Oh the things I do for the love of that man.

With everything that is going on in my life Rusty also tells me that we might have a trip to Yuma. Normally I love going places with Rusty and I know that it helps him out, but I don't want to miss seeing the boys off.

Oh my brain hurts. I need to make a list of everything that I need to get done. I need to start living, and not focusing on my boys leaving.

Luise: you asked about the black cats. My friend who is from the UK told me that over there black cats are considered lucky. Over here people use them as sacrifices, especially around Halloween. It make no sense to me. I love black cats.

doing nothing

2009-10-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what is going on with me. I have been busy, but doing nothing.

I have three babies in still. They are here to gain weight, and since one of them is black he can't be adopted out until November. For the record yes I am counting my black cats. So far they are all here, so that is a good thing.

Rusty actually really likes one of the fosters. Rusty tries very hard to not get attached to the cats, but this one has won his heart, so I am thinking about giving it to Rusty for our anniversary. Rusty even named this cat.... his name is Bradley.

Amber is still looking for a job. She did get the job as a go go dancer, and she did for a few nights, but Rusty said it was very fishy, so Amber has not been back. Will she ever find a job? I swear there are no jobs here in California.

I have recently started speaking to my mother but only on topics that do not cause an argument. I guess that is something. At least we are doing that.

For now I am done with all the quilts for the marines. I do need to make a few for the two guys that are leaving in the spring, but they can wait. Right now I am working on some quilts for the shelter, and a quilt for one of Nikkis friends.

I have also been thinking about who I am going to adopt next year. Last year I made quilts for the veterans home, and this year I made lap quilts for the shut ins. It is very heavy on my heart that I need to make baby quilts. So I talked with a fellow j lander and she is going to see if her church could use them. This is a big jump for me because I don't usually make baby blankets unless I know I am going to need them, but my heart is telling me to make baby blankets.

I must say that summer is over and I am so sad to have to put my flip flops away. I need to learn to enjoy the cooler weather, but as of yet I have not. I guess growing up right out side of Chicago has made me not want any cooler weather.

Well I need to go to the store and get busy. Life is calling me, so I need to get to it.

for Paula

2009-10-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

the silence is good

2009-10-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been busier then a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I finally have no company, and I so love it. It seems like everyone looked at a calender and said lets all go see Kelli at different times. Yesterday I finally got to do what I wanted to do. I cleaned some carpets and did some sewing.

* Amber said that she was going to go apply for a job as a go go dancer. I told her to go for it. She walks around here in shorts and shakes her bum, she might as well get paid for it.

* I got three new kittens in. They are here just until after Halloween. One of them is black and they won't adopt out black cats around Halloween. Rusty has fallen in love with this cat and has renamed him bradly.

* Speaking of cats, I have mice. How in the world does a women with four cats and three foster cats have mice? I don't get it, but the cats are slowly killing them. Which is a good thing.

* I think I broke my sewing machine yesterday. I was sewing on some upholstery material when it started acting up. I know better then to sew heavy stuff on my machine, but I did it anyway. I will have to look at it this morning and see if I cant figure something out. I have a quilt that I need to finish damn it.

* Rusty and I went to the ball and we had a good time. I did fit into that little red dress, but I think it will be the last time I wear it. It is starting to fray. I must say that I did look good.

* I got my hair trimmed the day of the ball. She only took off an inch, but it felt like more. So now it is two inches above my bum. The poor lady and to get on her knees to cut and straighten my hair. I offered to stand up, but she said no.

* One of the marines is in hot water and she goes on trial tomorrow. The chips will fall where they may.

*time to get busy and get some stuff done.

a relaxing few days

2009-10-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

Once we got back from Yuma, I have just been busy, but in a good way. Dayana and the baby were gone when we got back, but another young wife is staying with us while her husband is in the field.

Yesterday, Lauren ( the young wife) helped me get the last of my quilts put together and pinned. That was such a huge help to me. I did reach my goal of 30 pet quilts in 30 days. However I did not get them all put together. So I am finishing up some and I will deliver them next week.

I have really been trying to cook Rusty some good hardy meals. After being in Yuma and eating nothing but fast food, he was ready for some good home cooking. Last night I made chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, corn, saw mill gravy and a lemon cake. I told Rusty that if he dropped dead from all the fat.... well I am sorry. He loved the meal.

It has really cooled off down here. Our highs are only in the 70's and I must say that it feels good. I am just wondering if we are going to get one last heat wave. I guess only time will tell.

Today I worked on cleaning up the man cave. I swear Rusty just comes in and drops his shit and he will leave it there until he needs it again. Well I put everything away, and I even cleaned the baseboards. This room is bigger then I thought!

We have a ball next week, and I am really forward to this one. For some reason last year I was just dreading it, but not this year! I am wearing a dress I wore before, I have a purse, now all I need are some shoes. I need to go dig through my closet and make sure that I don't have any dress shoes. Last night I was telling Rusty that I needed a pair of dress shoes, and he just shook his head as if to say then go buy them. I finally asked Rusty what shoes I wore before when I wore that dress. He said that is he remembers correctly I did not wear shoes. Anything is possible with me.

Life is so good

I love Yuma

2009-10-03T19:57:00.000-07:00

O.K. so here it is, a Saturday night and I am sitting in the business center of the hotel blogging.

This trip has been awesome, and I am so glad that I made this trip! Everyday Rusty has kissed me and thanked me for coming with him. These sales are a big job and he truly appreciates the help that I give him. Spending time with the love of my life and knowing that my simple act of helping, means so much to him, is just another way for me to show Rusty how much I love him.

Tonight Rusty and I were driving around and I must say that I think Yuma is beautiful. Rusty use to come here when he was a boy and he has nothing but fond memories, and he loved showing me around.

There is something magical about a desert community. I love the desert, the Spanish influence and the sunsets here can take your breath away. I would be happy to live here.

While Rusty and I were driving around something very strange hit me. I remember my mom saying that she hated Yuma and that it was a hell hole. Yet, here I am loving this little town.

This past year has been very hard on mine and my mothers relationship. My mother has even cancelled her tickets, so she won't be coming out for Christmas.

You know, everyone has a right to be happy and to live their lives. That is what I am going to continue to do. I will not allow her to suck the life out of me, I will not allow her to say negative things, and most of all I will not be forced to have a relationship with someone that I have no desire to have a relationship with.

This is my life. I choose happiness and love. Tomorrow we will leave Yuma and go back home, and then it is back to my life.

What I did

2009-09-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

Today I should have done a lot of things. I should have packed since I am leaving for Yuma in the morning. I should have changed the sheets on my bed, but I did not. Today I threw everything out the window and I went to base.

I went to base to say good bye to some of my marines that will be leaving soon. Today was my last chance. So we did what everyone would do in my shoes. We walked on the beach at sun set and sang we all live in a yellow submarine. I talked with the boy's, I hugged them and most of all I told then that I love them.

We all went to dinner and before we left I asked them if they would mind walking on the beach me when they got back. They said they would. I am going to hold them to that promise. As we were walking out I turned around and said "well boys I will see you in seven months". That was it. No tears.

Here I sit. sand on my feet. Jeans that are wet. Yet, I feel like crying. I can't cry. Rusty would say "that is what marines do, they go to war."

Can I say that I hate this war. I want it to end. I want to see all my boys stay here. I don't want to hear that they are cold, or hungry. I don't want to say my good byes. I don't want to have to write them letters.

I want them to walk through my door and say mom we are home. Just like they do every weekend. I want to smell bbg, and have my house filled with laughter.

I know that my time will come. Soon I will be able to do a happy dance because I will be making welcome home posters. Soon.

Tomorrow I am heading to Yuma. Rusty is going out there for work, so I am tagging along to help him out, and to spend a little more time with him. I must say that I fall in love with my husband more every day. I want to spend every waking moment with him.

Life is good, even if you are looking through the tear filled eyes.

Eco friendly friday old school LOL

2009-09-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

So I have a baby in the house. I love having a baby in the house. There is just something about a baby that makes me happy. I love rocking them, feeding them and taking them for walks. I love babies. My baby is 14.

Alison, the baby, has been sick since she got here. Poor thing has an ear infection, a cold in her chest and in her eyes. It just breaks my heart. A few nights ago Alison was fussing, so I went over to the sofa to check on her, and she was running a fever. I told Dayana, the mom, to go get me two clean towels. Dayana just looks at me. I said "The baby is running a fever and we need to cool her down."

I cleaned out the kitchen sink, placed a towel in it and ran some cool water. So there is Alison just chilling in a sink with some cool water. By now I have an audience. Dayana, Amber and Nikki are all watching me. I told them to get me some Tylenol and some jack. They did as they were told.

Everyone is watching me as if I am doing something exciting. I gave the baby some Tylenol and I rubbed some Jack Daniels on the babies gums. My girls just laughed at me and Dayana was shocked at what I just did.

It was then that it hit me. I had turned into my mother and grandmother. They taught me every trick in the book. My grandmother would say "Your mother is still here and so are you, so sit down and shut up."

This week I showed Dayana so many "old school" things. How did we all survive without some of the modern stuff that babies have today? Teething gel? That was whatever whiskey my parents had on hand. Baby food? That was whatever could be mashed with a fork and given to us. Diaper cream? That was corn starch on our bottoms.

Yesterday Dayana and the baby were still congested so I draped our shower and I told Dayana to grab the baby, and that it was time for a steam bath. By the time they got out, they both were feeling good. There is nothing like a good old fashion steam. Once again I had turned into my mother and grandmother.

Is that such a bad thing? I hear all this stuff about saving our planet and how we should be very careful about what we buy, use, and do to our planet. I think we should all take a look back. I would love to be able to talk to my great grandmother and ask her how things were done in her generation.

We all live in a world of technology, and we have a ll the modern convinces that we could ever want, but are we really better off, or are people just putting products out there to trick us into thinking we need them. Yes, some of the stuff is safer and better, but not everything.

Maybe what we all need to do is take a look back, so that we can all move forward. Now if you will excuse me I am going to go give the baby a bath in the kitchen sink. Yep, no baby bath tub here.

the truth

2009-09-24T07:39:00.001-07:00

I have been sitting back and watching Danaya and her husband go round after round. Yesterday was the final blow. This "man" called Danaya and put her in tears. Danaya could not handle it any more so she just handed me the phone. Game on.

I pick up the phone and said hello. Then I lost it. I chewed this marine out and I laid it all on the line for him. I told him that as of right now he has two charges that can be filed against him. According to the UCMJ... Uniform Code of Military Justice, that he can be charged with adultery, and non support of dependents. I told him that I had already called his Sergent major. I told this "marine" that he better go fill out the paper work to get his wife an i.d. card and get enrolled in tricare. This dumb ass opened his mouth and said "well you don't understand, I am getting ready to deploy." That sent me off again. What? I don't understand? I gave him an hour and half to get his ass in gear. All he had left to say was yes ma'am.

A few moments later Rusty called me. The gal that this guy is having an affair with called Rusty! LOL Rusty said "honey I am not sure what is going on, but if Kelli is on the war path I would get out of her way." Danaya asked me why she would call Rusty. I had to smile when I told her "because she knows that Rusty is the only one who could tell me to back off, but he did not."

The day goes on and this marine is calling us and giving us updates on everything that he is doing. He was missing some documents, so he ended up giving her some power of attorneys. I told him that he would drive the power of attorneys up to us. If he so much as lied to me or does not show up.... I was going to finish hanging him.

He showed up and he and Danaya talked for a while. When she got back in the car she was laughing. I just smiled and said "what"? She said "you are not going to believe this. He went in and confessed to non support of dependents and is waiting to be pulled off the roster to ship."

I could not stop laughing. This dumb ass actually confessed!

After dinner Danaya and I were sitting around and I just laughed. I said "do you realize we only told the truth and he is now eating out of our hands."

My life motto is "Ceasers wife once said be above reproach."

We are and he is screwed. Life is good.

Thanks to my past

2009-09-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

I never saw this coming. A few weeks ago one of Nikki's friends asked me why I open my home to anyone. I simply said "entertain strangers for as much as you have known you have entertained an angle."

This week I opened my home up to one of the marines sisters. This gal is young, 22, and she is separated from her husband that is getting ready to deploy. They also have a very handi cap child.

My home is open, and I have been driving them around and I have really gotten to know this gal, and I have a feeling we are going to be good friends.

Yesterday I asked Danaya, the friend, and Amber if they wanted to go to the lake. Everyone said yes except Danaya said " How can I take the baby down to the lake, we can't get her all wet, because of her feeding tube." I just laughed. I ended up making the baby a chair... out of sand.... and I shaded her with an umbrella. We had a blast.

Later that night I told Rusty that I am glad that we had Ryan because I am now able to share all of my own experiences and help this mom. Never in a million years would I have guessed that my life with Ryan would be able to help someone else, but it has.

I have spent the last few days rocking the baby, sewing and just cleaning up around the house. I love having a baby in the house.

Rocking a baby is the perfect past time. Life is so good

say it isent so

2009-09-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

I have been hearing it on the news, and people on facebook are talking. Could it be true that summer is coming to an end? We are suppose to hit triple digits again this weekend, and I can't wait. Are we heading for a cool down after that? It has been a little cooler here, and I have enjoyed it sum what, but I am do not ready for summer to be over with.

This weekend we are heading down to Coronado island to watch some old school stock car racing, and then we are heading over to see some of the ships. Rusty wants to see one of the new aircraft carriers and I want to see the hospital ship. I guess we will have to see what is open for tours.

Yesterday Ryan came home and told us that his new running shoes made him run real fast for track. I just giggled. I am so glad that he is doing something that he likes. I can't wait to go to his first race.

I had to go to walgreens yesterday and I noticed a sigh that said shingles shot. I just looked at Rusty and said "is that because we will now have a generation that never got chicken pox?"

I had the chicken pox. I had them everywhere. I even ran a super high fever, but I survived. My mom really pushed me to get the girls the new chicken pox shot. I did not want to get it for them because I figured they could get the chicken pox the same way I did. Not to mention I don't immunize. Well with enough pressure I ended up getting the girls the shot, and now they are saying that the shot is only good for ten years. So what happens when all of these children grow up and become adults and they don't get the shot?

My life must be perfect because I have a kitten sleeping on my lap.

Today I am going to try to get some carpets cleaned, and I still need to do a good scrub down on my bathroom sink area. I have tonight's dinner done, so I am thankful for that.

Yesterday I made some homemade dog food for our older dog. For the past few weeks we have been buying her canned food, and that was getting expensive, so I went back to making it. When we first got Butter he was very thin and malnourished, so I made food for him and he did really well on it. So I am hoping that our older dog will also do as well.

The advantages of making the dog food is that it is so much cheaper and I do not have all these extra cans that are going into my recycling. Now I need to get online and figure out how to make wet cat food.

Well, I hate to wake a sleeping kitten, but I have stuff that I need to get done, so I better get up and get moving.

Life is good.

It is working

2009-09-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

So I have been trying to tone up a little so I can look good in that little red dress, well it is working. Last night I was sitting in bed rubbing lotion all over my body when I noticed that my arms had some shape to them! I got out of bed and went to the mirror. Yep, I finally have some shape. All I have been doing is eating less and swimming more. When I go to the lake I not only swim, but I also do some water aerobics, and it is finally paying off.

Yesterday Chris and I went back to Dana Point and played on the beach. I swore that I was not going to get wet, but that lasted all of 10 minutes before the waves called me in. Then we hit a few other beaches. I can't believe that we spent close to eight hours just playing on the beach.

By the time I got home last night my feet hurt. Note to self: buy some water shoes. I am just so happy to be getting out of the house more and doing what I love to do.

Yesterday my mom and I got into it about her coming out. I finally laid down the law about gcc and she was not happy. She also was not happy that I was not going to cook Christmas dinner and that I wanted to go surfing instead. Whatever you said you wanted to take the children to Disney, so if I want to go surf then I will.

This morning Amber confronted me and asked me if they were coming out. I said yes. Amber is so not happy. She said she does not mind if my mother comes out, but she does not to be around gcc. I guess Amber and gcc got into it a lot while Amber was out there this summer. HMMMM told you so. Amber said that she did not want to go to Disney.

I guess my mom does not get it. We live here, so we really don't care about all the tourist stuff. Oh well that is life.

I could not sleep last night, so I was up until about 2 a.m. which meant I did not get up until 10 this morning. It felt good to get some sleep, but I thought I would be way behind on my house work. I got most of it done and dinner is in the crock pot, so I must have kicked ass. Now the question is what should I do now?

It is kinda overcast today and rather cool for southern California. While it is nice I am so not ready for summer to be over. Maybe I will go swimming anyway. Who knows.

Life is good.

pictures from yesterday

2009-09-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

Friday was awesome!

2009-09-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was so laid back and yet so full of fun!

The girls and I swung in and picked up my girlfriend, and we headed south. So we get everything set up and I am standing there just staring at the ocean. Then it happened. I saw a fin, and then another fin, and another . Holy Crap the dolphins were in so close! Yep I got in the water and swam with the dolphins. It was amazing.

Nikki was standing on the beach yelling at me. I just looked at her and she kept pointing at her wrist. Man it was time to go. I was like a two year old being drug away from her favorite toy. So many waves so little time.

This afternoon we are heading over to the coast to see the tall ship festival. I have never been on one of those old three mast ships so it should be a good time. Note to self: grab one of the girls cameras. I am just looking forward to spending time with my family. It is not often that Rusty and I can find something that we both want to go do, so I will have a blast just walking around holding hands with my husband.

I have decided that I do want to do Thanksgiving this year. I just want to do any of it, so I am sending the girls off on an adventure. Nikki will be going to Vegas to help pack food baskets and Amber is going to go to San Francisco to see one of her uncles. I asked Chris if he wanted to go some place. He said that he would get back to me.

One of the female marines was in shock when I told her that I did not want to do Thanksgiving. So she suggested that we go to the shelter and take care of the animals. I think that would be a great idea. We can go take care of them and then maybe go to the ocean for a bit. Rusty said that he would grill some steaks. I think this sounds perfect.

Last night Rusty and I went to dinner and I told Rusty that I did not even want to do Christmas this year. A few years ago the children sucked the life right out of me and that was when I became a scrooge. So last year I made the children do all the decorating. This year they can do the same. I am thinking about going and getting four big bags and just throwing all their gifts in one big bag. Rusty told me to be very careful because Ryan loves the Christmas thing. Decorating, cookies, presents. Maybe my mood will change by then who knows.

I still have not spoken to my mom. I guess I should give her a call, but the tickets are bought, so.... Oh I just don't have the energy to deal with her. I am having such a good few weeks, and I just don't want the life sucked out of me.

Well, I need to go get ready to head out. Life is good

no I will not come over

2009-09-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Life has not been to eventful around here and I guess that is a good thing.

Yesterday Ryan came home and announced that he is joining cross country. I am not sure why this kid likes to run, but he does. i am so happy for him, and he was so excited that he told everyone that walked in the door. Good for him! I want him to find something that he likes other then video games. This weekend Rusty is going to take him out to get him a good pair of running shoes.

I am still following the flylady. This week we are in the kitchen. I clean the kitchen up everyday, but this week I am deep cleaning it. The way our kitchen is set up our fridge faces our island, so that was my goal today. One day last week Amber cleaned the inside of the fridge, so today I cleaned the outside. The top of the fridge was just gross. I want to know why tall people find it necessary to put stuff up there. I threw it all away. I figured if it had an inch of dust on it then they were not missing it.

Then I took off the bottom thing and got that cleaned. I also cleaned under the fridge the best I could. That was also gross, but it the coils so needed to be cleaned off. Then I got out the toothbrush and cleaned around the fridge and the island. I think it looks awesome but I know that no one will come in and inspect the under side of my fridge.

Rusty and Leeroy got my new fuel pump put in last night. It will be nice to have the grocery getter back. Those poor guys did not get done until midnight. That right there is love. Rusty worked all day ate dinner then came home and worked all night just so I could have the car running again.

Last week I started to detox my liver when I got my cycle. Great just what I need on a long weekend. I was cramping really bad, so I went to the bathroom and there it was, another tumor had come out. I wish I had the money to have another scan done and find out how many tumors I have left. All I do know is that what I am doing is working, and to me that is great, so I will keep doing it. I can handle some pain if my body is healing itself.... with some help from herbs.

I am still on track with my goal of 30 pet quilts by the end of the month. I am actually having a lot of fun with it. I am trying new patterns, and if they don't turn out well, the pets don't care. One the days that I was not feeling all that hot I sat there digging through my material bin, and I can across four flannel pillow cases. I just sewed two of them together and did a little fancy stitching on them and they turned out nice.

Today I so want to get to the lake and get some swim time in. It has finally cooled off around here, but I just can't stay away from the water. Now when I say cooled off, I mean it has been down to the mid 80's, which is very cool for us. My electric bill is going to thank me for this.

This weekend is the tall ship festival and I can't wait to spend some time with hubby and the children. I love going on adventures with everyone. I will have to borrow a camera and take lots of pictures!

Well, I need to go eat something and then finish getting my day started.

Life is good.

eco friendly friday: sheets

2009-09-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share a few ideas on to re use old sheets. I know that we all have them, so let put the old ones to good use!

1. If they are still in good condition consider passing them on, donating them to a shelter, or cutting them up and using them as curtain.

If you sheets are very worn and or stained, you can still use them.

2. Use them to cover items. I have some in the garage covering up some big nut crackers that wont fit in a box. this really helps keep the dust off of them.

3. Keep one in your car just in case. Sick children and pets always seem to need my extra sheet.

4. Use them to cover your furniture. This will help keep pet hair and human dirt off. Then when they are dirty you can just wash them and boom your furniture is fresh and clean.

5. Use them to cover a picnic table.

6. Use them as a Christmas tree skirt or to move a real tree, so you don't have needles everywhere.

7. Cover your grill or patio furniture when you are gone.

8. Old flannel sheets make great rags. Just cut them up!

9. Sew two flat sheets together and make a cover for a comforter.

10. Be creative. There is a lot of material in a sheet!

I personally have a huge stash of sheets. I cover all of my furniture with them. Some of my Christmas items are covered with them, and I use flat sheets to back quilts with. Sometimes you just have to think outside the box.

I challenge everyone to clean out their linen closet and really look at your sheets. If you can't reuse them then pass them on to someone else who can. Time are tough right now and we all need to share what we have extras of.

I think one of the coolest things I ever saw was a baby shower invitation where they asked for all the gifts to be wrapped in either a crib sheet or a blanket. What a cool idea.

I had a moment of disbelief this week. I actually saw some guys carrying around a Styrofoam cool. Yep it was loaded down with beer, and they were headed for the beach. I just stared at the cooler.

I remember as a child, my parents would buy those things and they never lasted, and they never really kept anything cold. They would just fall apart and then we have to go buy a new one. I can't believe they still make them.

Besides the fact that they are break and you have to buy a new one, they never break down in our landfills. They just sit there. I even found pieces of these coolers in the sand and in the water.

Do you think it would do me any good to complain to someone? First I would have to figure out who to complain to, and then would they even listen. So I will do my part and pick up broken pieces of these coolers and place them where the trash cans, but people come on! You can a small cooler for only a few dollars more and you will get more use out of it. Stop buying Styrofoam plates and cups. Those don't break down either.

It is just me. One person trying to keep of beach and planet clean.

Change is good

2009-09-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Amber and I were chatting. We are going to assume that she did not get the job that she interviewed for. Amber said that she is o.k. with that and now she has changed her mind about getting a job.

Amber said that she is going to stop looking for a regular job and she is now looking for odd jobs. She did find one job as a mom's helper and it is only two days a month, but that will cover her bills. So now she is looking for so more odd jobs. She said that she wants to travel more this year and a regular job will not allow her to do it.

One of the places that Amber wants to go is to Virginia, and she will be gone over Thanksgiving and she will be visiting a sailor that we know. I think this is going beyond friends, but he is a good guy, so I am not going to complain. Amber found a ticket for $150, so now I am on the move to help her find enough odd jobs to pay for this ticket. I know we can do it.

I have started following the flylady again, and my home is so much nicer to be in. If you have not seen or been around the flylady you have to look her up. I have been decluttering, and deep cleaning and let me tell you it is so nice. I have these antique lamps that are just huge and nice, but each of them has tube globes, so that is eight globes in all. This week, I took all of those globes off and cleaned them real good. They just look so much better and I am so glad that I did them. I almost forgot how nice they looked.

Well I need to get busy and get pet quilt done for the day. I can't wait to walk in and give them a stack of quilts! They will be so shocked at how many quilts I will be bringing in. Oh I almost forgot I got three new babies in last night. They are not bottle feeders, but they are still small, and just as cute as could be.

Life is good.

the lady in red

2009-09-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

I am not sure why, but I love red dresses. For a very long time I only wore red dresses to the Marine Corps birthday ball. Then one year Rusty's mom made me this totally awesome dress. The dress was pink and it had dragonfly's on it. I loved that dress. Rusty said that I looked beautiful in the dress, but he loved my red dresses more.

I am not sure where I got this one red dress from. It is Asian style and it has all the curves made into the dress and it is just beautiful. Rusty's dad asked me why I never wore the dress. I never thought I looked good in it I guess. Then when my father in law died I wore it to his funeral. I just wanted him to see me in that dress. I hung the dress back in my closet, and it has not been worn since.

Over the weekend we invited to attend another ball. So that makes a total of two balls this year. I have thought about buying a new dress. I rationalize the expense by saying, well I will wear it twice.

This morning I was pouring some frozen blueberries into a cup. That was when it hit me. Instead of buying a new dress, I am going to set a goal of getting back into that red dress. I have been eating a lot better, and I have started swimming again. I know I can do this. *side not: get some frozen blueberries and pour milk over them and then the milk freezes and it like eating blueberry ice cream. It is so good.

Yesterday was so nice. I wish it did not have to end. The waves were great, the surfing was great, and most of all it was an awesome work out. Today I am feeling the side effects of all my swimming. I don't think people realize how hard it is to swim in the ocean. Between the waves and the currents, my legs are hurting.

Another one my goals for this month is to do one pet quilt a month. This is a very achievable goal as long as life does not happen to much. When I accomplish this goal it will give me a really good jump start on stocking the shelter up.

It broke my heart to drop the babies off. They just looked at me like momma what are you doing? When the babies leave the house just seems so empty, so it will take me a while to get use to not having babies here. I know that everything comes in cycles, so soon I will have more babies.

Last night I responded to my moms e mail. I just can't believe the mess I have gotten myself into. I should have spoken up sooner. I guess that is what I get for taking time to really think about how I wanted to say certain things. Then my mom sent me an e mail back. I just looked at. If my mom has a magic pills that she takes to make her think that we are the Brady bunch then I want that pill. She thinks Disney is going to be a great family day. Hello! do you live on this planet? I am not going. I have no idea if Rusty is going. The girls have made it very clear that they will not be with Ryan. Heck most day's the girls can't stand to be around each other. Whatever I won't be there. I have no problems spending Christmas by myself. That just means that I get to do what I want for a change. It also means that I don't have to cook dinner. Go me!

For the most part the house is cleaned up, so I better go run a few errands, and get home so I can have the rest of day to goof and off and do what I want to do.

Life is good

not today

2009-09-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

Well I have everything I need staged by the front door. My trusty backpack is loaded down with all my beach stuff. The cat crate is out because my foster babies are going back today, and I have a stacks of quilts waiting to go to the shelter.

As a child growing up in the Midwest I would have never guessed that I would be checking the surf report, but I did today. There is a category 4 storm just6 over the boarder, so our waves are massive! I can't wait to get in them. I think I am going to ask for wet suit for Christmas, so that way I can body surf in the winter.

I have been trying to digest this whole ordeal with my and gcc coming out. I was going to call my mom nest weekend and ask her some questions and lay down the law on this whole eating thing. Well, I waited to long. I got an e mail this morning from my mom and she has booked the tickets and their was a little note that said gcc is so excited because it was her idea. Wait a second I was under the impression that it was my moms idea.

Amber had a melt down yesterday. I sometimes wonder if she is my child, but she looks the most like me. Anyway she melted down because she needs new tires, new windshield wipers, she needs a job, and the radio in her car does not, and she dropped her sisters ipod in the toilet. Why an I not shocked, she drops everything in the toilet. She tried crying on my shoulder and told her that she better not be leaving buggers on my shirt.

I just could not stop laughing at her. I know she needs new tires. She will get them. Who cares if your windshield wipers don't work. We are not going to be having any rain anytime soon. Who cares if your radio does not work all I get are Spanish stations. I am still wondering about her. She so did not get my easy going spirit.

Well, I will worry about all of this later, right now I need to go load everything so I can head to the beach.

Life is good.

almost done

2009-08-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

I am almost done with a lot of things. One of the things that is almost done is summer. I have to say that this breaks my heart. So I am going to try to get as many beach days in as I can. I hear from other people that it is cold where there are. Our temps are still hotter then all get out, so I guess I could have more beach days but with the children all in school it is getting a little harder.

I am almost done with a total decluttering of my home. I started following the flylady again and she has really helped me get my bum into gear. Last week I finally cleaned out our walk in closet that we could not walk into. Today I cleaned out our living room. I have no idea how we got some many dvd's. We are not even t.v. people! So I boxed them up and some of our old board game. They are now in a new home. It feels so good to be almost done decluttering.

I am always on the look out for cheap things to do with the children. I found out that there is going to be a tall ship festival. so I showed Rusty the web page and he said "yes, we should take the children." I think it will be cool. I have never been on a tall three mast, wooden ship. Then we got to looking even more and it turns out that we can go have dinner on the ship and they be a part of a canon battle, all while floating in the ocean at sunset. Rusty said that he really wanted to do this with the children. O.K. I can do simple math, $30 x 6. So I asked all the children if the wanted to go. If they did not want to go then I was not going to waste the money.

Chris said that he would pay for his ticket. I did not like that idea, and Rusty said to let him do it. We end having a very loud discussion about weather or not he should pay for his own ticket. Rusty's point was that he now has a job and he wants to contribute and pay some of his own way. My point is that I told him I would treat him like one of our own children. After thinking about for a few day's I realized that this was not a battle worth winning. I called Rusty and Chris outside. I told Chris that if he wanted to buy his own ticket that was fine as long as he understood that we would buy for him.

Well, I need to go knock down some webs that are hanging around, and then they rest of the day is mine! I am going to do some sewing and I do have a few phone calls to make.

Life is so good.

you should have been there

2009-08-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

People that around me a lot know two very important things about me. One is I am allergic to bee stings and the second is allergic to penicillin.

Now on with the entry. The beach was amazing yesterday! We had some really big waves and I just there watching the surfers and the waves. I guess there are a few storms out to see so that is why the waves were massive. I don't really care why the waves were massive, they just were just so awesome to look at.

So I was sitting on the shore, just letting the waves hit me and the sun bake my body. Then this really big wave came and started dragging me up onto the beach. I turned to yell at me girlfriend, but she could not hear me because she was listening to her ipod. I no sooner screamed her name that the wave took over our little piece of beach.

It was something out of a cartoon. The wave came in soaked us and everything we owned, and then disappeared into the ocean. I just laughed. What else could I do. I had to admit that everyone around us thought it was funny as well.

So we picked up all of our soaked stuff. My camera and cell phone, and my girlfriends ipod are now soaked with salt water. My girlfriend tries to rinse out some of our stuff, and I start taking apart all the electronics.

After we moved everything up to the pick nick table we decided that we both deserved a candy bar. My girl friend plops down in a beach chair and I pull up a dry piece of beach.

All of a sudden something is poking me and it hurts. I look under my arm and scream "mother fucker!" I had just gotten stung by the biggest bee I had ever seen. Quick load everything into the truck, I have to get some benadryl. We get the exchange and I get some benadryl .

By this point I can feel my air pipe getting tighter and tighter. So we sit at the exchange for a little bit to see if the benadryl kicks in. If not we had to high tail it to an aid station.

We were at the very north end of base and the navel hospital is a good thirty minutes away. So I figured I would just walk into an aid station and I knew the epi pen me even if I am not a marine.

Well the beidryl kicked in. My wind pipe was still tight, but it was not getting any tighter. Yes, I now have an epi pen, and yes I will start carrying it with me at all times.

We are going back to the beach next week and I can't wait!

I still have not tried to put my phone and camera back together yet. If they are dead then they are dead. No sence in worrying about something I can't change. I found a similar camera on ebay, so I can buy a new one next month. Nikki has a old cell phone that I can use.

Rusty actually said that he would like to buy me a black berry? What my hubby said that. Its all good.

Today I finished cleaning out my closet. Man we had a lot of crap in there! I think the more room you have, the more crap you store. Since the people across the street have a salvation army people coming today, I just added to their pile.

The people across the street put out some nice sofa's. So what do my ghetto children do? They wait for night fall and they go get their sofas and put ours out for the salvation army. I am so proud of them. I have taught them well.

Life is sooooo good

no grocery getter and the beach

2009-08-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a rather eventful few days. As usual I take it all in stride, while Rusty stresses over some of it.

The fuel pump went out on my car. I don't really care. I have lived without a car before and I can live without one again.

However, the car died at the grocery store. So Chris calls Rusty. Rusty had been gone for a while, so I called him. He said that he was looking for a tow rope. I just asked him why since we have AAA and they will tow us for free. Rusty hung up on me. Now he is looking around for the cheapest fuel pump, I am just thinking whatever.

I know it is a guy thing, but I just don't care. Sell the car, push it off a mountain, I can still hang, besides it would save us money. Rusty will get the darn fuel pump come hell or high water, and I will still only put 10 miles a week on the car.

I called and left a message for the principal of Ryan's school. The next day Ryans teacher called me. She is so young and perky and she called me before I had my second cup of coffee! In my nicest yet harsh voice I said "I left a message for the principal, not you. I do not wish to speak to you, I want to speak with the principal." I hung up on her.

Yesterday the principal called me. Now she and I go way back, and at one point our husbands even served together. So I listened to what she had to say then I just laid it on the line. I simply said "You assured me that they teacher could speak read and write in English, so she should not have any trouble understanding the terms of the IEP. No I don't care if Ryan is the only child in the class with a calculator. Maybe the other parents should request one. No he is not suppose to use it "check" his work. He is suppose to use it to do his work. I am working my way up the chain of command. My next stop will be district." She assured me that Ryan will have his calculator and that there will be no need for me to go to district. So we will see.

I had to deal with Ryan's b.o. problem. For whatever reason he refuses to wear deodorant. So I told him that the first I smelled him I was taking away everything and that he would get sit in his room and stare at the walls all night. Well, he is now putting on his deodorant, but is wearing dirty clothes. So last night I asked him if he is suppose to wear dirty clothes and he said no. So for the rest of the week I am going to pick out his clothes. Ryan is not happy, but he will learn.

Today is going to be a great day. I am meeting my girlfriend and we are heading to the ocean. This is a big girl trip, and I can't wait to spend some time with her. Last week my girlfriend found out that she was laid off, so she is now looking for a new job. I am sure that she needs to blow off some steam and just relax, so the beach will be perfect.

I have two baby kittens sleeping right above the keyboard. I can't believe how big they are! I think I am going to take them back to the shelter next week.

Amber is in a math class with a gal that use to live down the street. She is a good person and her parents are "rough" on her. They will not help her at all. So this gal and her family moved last summer and now they live close to the college. So last night Amber mentioned that she is now picking this gal up and giving her a ride to school. That's my girl. Show compassion. Amber also loaned this gal her text book since she can't afford to buy one. I told Amber that I will buy her a math book. We found this place on line called abebooks.com and they sell college text books for $5 plus shipping. I can afford to buy this gal a book.

I also mentioned to Amber that this is the type of gal I am proud to know. She will do whatever it takes to go to college, even if she has to walk 2 miles each way, and borrow books. Good for her!

I am back to following the flylady. My home is not cluttered, but it sure could use a deep cleaning. This week we are in the master bedroom. So I took 15 minutes and ventured into the abyss that is our closet. For just 15 minutes I went through some stuff. Before I opened the door I knew right away what I wanted to get rid of. So I grabbed that stuff, and the headed for my crate of winter tops. I got rid of about half of that. Then I looked at Rustys side of the closet and I grabbed a lot of shirts that I swear were standing by them self.

Nikki is my pack rat and my messy child. So I handed her two grocery sacks. I said "fill one up with trash and the other with clothes. She was done in just a few minutes. I guess I can make small dents. Then Amber grabbed a sack and cleaned out her sweaters.

Everyday I am posting more the stuff up on freecycle. I am just glad that someone is getting some use out of the stuff. Now I have to tackle the boxes that Rusty has not unpacked yet. That should be fun.

I sent my shrink an e mail laying out all of my concern about my mom and GCC coming for Christmas. Yes, I agree with everyone, this is a tragedy in the making. My concerns go a lot further then just food. Rusty listened while I laid them all eat. Rusty did say that we need to lay down the law as far as eating goes. So I am going to take what my shrink said and think on it some more, and then I will make my decision. I have to do what is best for my family, and I will not do that uninformed.

Time to go pack for the beach.

down, but so not out

2009-08-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

The last few days I felt really bad and was in the bed. I can't live like this. So I would get up and do what I could, and then I would rest when I needed to. Today I feel great and I can't wait to take on the world.

I have gotten so much done today, and I still have more that I want to get done. I contribute all of my energy to going back on my diet. I just got lazy and I stopped taking all my supplements and I was eating fast food. I have so learned my lesson. If I treat my body like crap then I will feel like crap and I will end up in bed.

I am still working on getting Rusty to cut down on his meat in take. Yesterday I made a huge pot of potato soup. I usually add ham to it, and I did so yesterday, but I just added a lot less and I added more vegi instead. Rusty said it was awesome, and went back for seconds. Today I made chili for dinner and I added more beans then meat. I also made some fresh bread. YUM! I wonder when he is going pick up on the fact that I am cutting his meat consumption.

I talked to my mother yesterday and she wanted to run something past me. She wants to bring gcc out here for Christmas. She even offered to take all of us to Disneyland on Christmas day. I have given this a lot of thought and I am going to call my mom back this weekend and ask her some very hard questions.

My mom thinks that bringing gcc out here that it will help her since this will be the first Christmas with her mother. Well, one of my questions is will gcc live by my rules. That means eating what is put in front of you and not waiting until everyone goes to bed to get ice cream. Or will my mom give into her and go buy her fast food, which will cause a fight between my mother and I. Lets face it, if my children have to eat what is put in front of them and then they see gcc getting whatever she wants, is that really fair to my children.

Another question is I am hoping that my mom is not expecting us to be a happy little family at the happiest place on earth. We are more like the night mare on Christmas. Amber, Nikki, and Chris are not going to want to hang around gcc and Ryan. Rusty and I are not sure that we even want to go. Rusty and I can't ride the rides so what the heck are we suppose to do? I guess we could try to walk around and look happy and see a bunch of crap that we don't need and can't afford.

My last question is if she is bringing gcc child out here to forget about her mother being dead, is that really a good idea since I am still alive and my children still have a mother?

I am just seeing WWIII beginning. I really don't want that, so I will have to talk my mom and just lay out the cold hard facts.

Today I am going to try to get some pet quilts done. I said that I wanted to do one a day, but so far that has not happened. So I am going to just sit down today and try to get some done.

I am also thinking that I might go to the lake and go for a swim. The lake should be empty, so it will be almost like I am on a private beach. I so need an ocean day. I am thinking that I will hit the ocean one day next week, since I am going to take the kittens back. To me there is nothing better then being being sun kissed and covered in sand.

Life is good.

not to much going on

2009-08-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

There really has not been to much going on around here. I know the cycles of my life, and when not much is going on that means that soon my life is going to get crazy.

We started to get a flea problem. Now for most people this would be no big deal, but I have never had flea's, and I have a lot of pets! I called the shelter to see if they would give me some flea medicine for the babies, and not only did they do that, but they also gave me enough for all of my animals! That right there saved me a ton of money.

Since I gave everyone the flea crap last night, I got the carpets cleaned today. Last month I ordered a new carpet cleaner and it works so well! I think I have ocd when it comes to my carpets.

Chris got his first pay check today and he is so happy! Rusty was able to get Chris on where he works. It is hot and sticky, nasty warehouse work, but it is a job and that is all that matters. Chris is just so thrilled, and I am happy for him. It seems that everything is starting to come together for him.

Amber has two jobs interviews next week, and she can't wait. Amber is so ready to be employed, and I am just as ready. I am keeping my fingers crossed that one of these jobs will work out for her.

I talked to my mom last week and she is having trouble with GCC ( golden chosen child). I must say that I am very proud of my self for not going off. I just listened to my mom and I could think was, "well you created this child". Being a grandma and being a mom are so different, and my mom no longer get the privilege of being grandma anymore. I know it sounds mean, but my mom created this monster child and now she has to raise her. I have no sympathy.

Well, I better get my bum heading off to bed. I am so worn out today.

I am so proud

2009-08-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

Here is another video. This one I am showing everyone some of my quilts. I just love it when people give me bags of scrap because I just let the creative juices flow. Hey Betty, a lot of these quilts were made from the bag of the material that you gave me. Some people said that they are having trouble viewing the videos, so you can go to me you tube channel. Go to youtube and type in noonmom.

I have been trying to get a pet quilt a day done. Now that I have some "down" time, I figured this would be a good time to really get the shelter stocked up. I am also trying to get ahead on my quilts for the shut ins.

Last year around Christmas time I found a tree that had seniors names and wishes on it. I was so shocked at the fact that a lot of these seniors were asking for necessities. So I did pull a few names off the tree, but I said that I wanted to make twelve lap blankets for the seniors. That is only one a month, and that would be doable. I would like to get them done early and have them delivered by December first. Actually I am going to put them in the drop box, so no one will know who made them.

Amber started her college classes yesterday and I must say that I very proud her. Amber originally signed up for a math class, but she signed up at the wrong campus. So yesterday when she discovered this she immediately went and found the same class at the right campus and she had the teacher add her. Amber also went over to the resource center and asked about getting a tutor, Yep they have free tutors there! Amber is not one to just go and ask for help. She will usually call me and ask me what she should do. I am so glad that Amber id taking some initiative and trying to figure things out for herself. That right there showes me that she is really starting to mature.

Nikki is liking being back in a public high school. I am glad. To me it really does not matter as long as she is learning and doing well. Nikki thrives off being around other people and being surrounded by friends.

Jake, one of the marines, left yesterday. He is now out of the marines, but I have a feeling that he will be back here before to much longer. Jake is a good kid and I just love being around his mom and step dad. They did such an awesome job with him.

The girls get state aid for their medical, and Amber got cut off earlier this year. I thought that was that, but it turns out that they can stay on state aid until the turn 21 as long as they live here. So I need to refill out some paper work, which they swear they sent me, and then I can get the girls back on aid. Now the reason they get state aid is because their sperm donor is not in the house. Here is the catch. The state is trying to say that the girls have insurance through their sperm donor and they even gave us a policy number. So now I have been trying to hunt down all this information. Why am I doing a social workers and the d.a. job? No one will really tell me anything, but if I was the d.a. they would tell me everything. Oh all of this makes my head hurt.

Anyway, life is good

you have to do better then that.

2009-08-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a little better tonight. I had Amber take a video of my with some of the quilts. I can't figure out how Rusty got them to load, so I will have to work on that tomorrow.

Rusty, Chris and Jake are all off smoking cigars and telling stories. I so don't understand it. But a bunch of guys get together, burn meat, smoke a cigar and tell war stories. They say it is fun. I say "Well at least I don't have to cook dinner tonight."

One of the marines, Jake, is out of the marines and will be heading back to Or. tomorrow. I know he will be back, I am just not sure when. I am so going to miss him. I miss all of them, but I guess that is the cycle of life.

I called Ryans teacher today, that got me where. I will have to see if she calls me back tomorrow. I am hanging on by a thread with this child. I just don't know what to do any more. I am just so worn down. This momma sure could use a break.

Rusty and I are both sad that the Amber starts college tomorrow. To us that means our children are growing up and it also means that summer is ever. I refuse to think that we might be coming to the end of summer. I want to suck every last bit of sun out of the summer. I am such a summer person.

I am now dealing with my ex. Why? Why is he still screwing over my children. If I could find the rock that he is under I would crush the rock! Thats o.k. I will find my way past this because Rusty and I have always supported the girls and we will continue to do so.

I have been doing a lot of sewing. I am not sure why I am still spending a lot of time at the machine. All of the marines quilts are done. My shrink say's that sewing is a form of therapy. I just gave him the dear in the headlights look. He say's I sew when I am stressed because I am finding order in a world that has no order. Well I guess that does explain the last few weeks.

Well I do have a few things that I should be finishing up. Life is keeping me busy, but it is not the edge of the seat busy.

I am so ....

2009-08-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what I am. Maybe I am a fool. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am hopeful. Maybe I am just a mom that is at the end of her rope.

I made the mistake of asking Ryan what he was "learning" in school. Ryan said that he was learning fractions. What? So I ask Ryan some basic math questions and he could not answer them, so how is he learning fractions? I asked if he had been given a calculator yet. The answer is the same as it has always been.... NO.

Why can't this teacher follow an IEP? I have called, bitched, complained to the principal, said nothing, and bitched some more. Nothing works. Now what? Do I file a formal complaint against the teacher? I am going to do that on Monday. I know it won't do any good.

I just don't have any fight left in me. After I file the complaint I am going let the chips fall where they may. I have been told for years that the teachers are the professionals and they know better then me. I guess I should let them do whatever they want. After all I am not the one with a big fancy degree. All I know is you can't add fractions if you can't add whole numbers.

I dread Ryan coming from school because I know that it is time for me to deal with whatever. Homework, teachers, you name it. I don't want to deal with any of it any more. I want to send all of his homework back wrong. After all they are professionals not me.

Am I the only mom of a handi cap child that just wants it all to go away and resents the child for reasons that he can't control? Am I a bad parent because I no longer feel like being a parent to a handi cap child. Is it wrong for me to want to just walk away?

I am just done. I am done fighting.

Its Friday!

2009-08-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

I would like to say thanks to a dear friend in Chicago for giving me this award, now get your bum to California so we can go have coffee.

Where has this week gone?

Nikki came back from her mission's trip and she just fell in love with the people in Vegas. I get so much joy out of watching Nikki grow and when she learns things her face just lights up. I tell everyone that knows her to keep an eye on her because one of these days she is going to change the world.

Nikki and Ryan started school on Wednesday. Nikki is very happy to be back in regular high school, and as long as she is happy I am happy. Ryan is also loving life right now because he is back with his friends.

Next week Ryan will start to get homework, and that is when I have to put on my boxing gloves. I don't know why his teacher can't follow an IEP, but she can't. I am going to fight her all the way on this and I am even considering filing a complaint against her.

Amber starts college next week, and I am glad that she has decided to take some core classes. Amber is still looking for a job, but I am sure something will open up soon. This is Ambers last weekend before school starts so she went to the river with some friends. I guess it is one final good bye to summer.

You know that is sad. I feel like our summer is over now that the kids are back in school. I was thinking "man the children have not done anything this summer." I know I am wrong there. They have all been on some kind of trip, we have gone to the beach several times, all of the children have gone to concerts, bonfires, and the list goes on. At least I have reach a goal. I so wanted to spend more time with the children and I did just that.

So I got my hands on a camcorder and now that I have learned how to post videos I think I am going to go do more video blogging. I wanted to do a video blog today but no one is here to help me, so it will have to wait until next week.

My dear friend over at smaller footprint put up another challenge this week, and the challenge was to use or make your own cleaners. I wanted to make a video of all my cleaners and my kitchen, but it will have to wait. So, the easiest cleaner that I make is a multi purpose cleaner. I use 1 part vinegar and one part water. I just put it in a spray bottle and it works wonders! This is also good to keep in mind in case you run out of a cleaner you can make this up real quick.

Another cleaner that I make is my own dish washer soap. There are times when I run my dishwasher three or four times in one day, and buying that soap was getting very expensive. So here is how I make dishwasher soap:

1 1/2 cups of borax

1 1/2 cups of baking soda

1 cup salt

use 1/4 cup per load.

I make up two or three bathes at a time. I keep it in an old ice cream bucket. I have discovered that a scoop that you get from lemonade or Gatorade is about 1/4 cup, so I use that to measure out the soap. It works great.

Well I am done with all the marines quilts, so now I am working on making some little quilts. I am going to use them in gift baskets and to wrap around wine bottles. This is an opportunity to really show off my handi work. So I better go get a few things done around here, so I can get back to my sewing.

what I have been up to

2009-08-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

My life

2009-08-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

Over the last few weeks I have have an e mail conversation with a gal that takes me back to the dark days of my life. Days when I could not get out of bed and I thought that life just sucked. Then I was watching Oprah and she was talking about a gratitude journal, so I started one. Every night I would write three thing that I was grateful for. Years later I found that journal and as I flipped through it I found a day where all I could write was "the day is over". That seems like a life time ago.

On one of Rusty's deployments, I was feeling sad for myself. At that time I was friends with one of the Chaplin's on base. There in his office was a poster of a flower growing up. The flower was surrounded my cement and the caption said "bloom where you are planted." It was suggested to me that I read some books by John Maxwell. So I did, and so started my growth into a new person.

Yesterday, on facebook, I said that I was going to the beach to fly kites. A dear friend gave me the highest compliment and called me a hippy and said she was jealous. I take that as the highest compliment ever.

Yes, I am a hippy, and yes I love life. I often think back to that poster. "bloom where you are planted" O.K. so we are broke, but we do live in California, and the beach is free, so why not go play in the ocean, fly kites and just enjoy it.

But, my challenge to everyone in this world including my own children, is to live life to the fullest. Try new and exciting things. Go sit on the grass and listen to a jazz concert, pick up a local paper and see what is going on in your own community, and get involved. I have learned that life is about living and not waiting.

My life is also full of contrast. There are times when I do just pack up the children and go. Then there are times when I am just itching to get out of the house. There are times that I do go rock climbing and scare myself, then there are days when I sit and create works of art, by sewing a quilt.

My life is so not perfect and I do not hide that fact. We do have savings but not that much. Our bills are paid, and we have food, but we really have to save for the extras. That's o.k. being poor does not mean that we have to sit in the house and feel sorry for ourselves. It means that we just find cheap thing to do.

My children are learning this lesson as well. I am so glad that I raised them they way did.... broke. My children appreciate everything, and they know they have to work for what they want. I often take my children on my get up and go moments and they are just shocked at some of the places we end up. Chris is really starting to get this. He is now jumping in and joining us and he is longer saying oh poor me. To me that showes that Chris is growing and that he is learning while you may need money to get by, it does not make you happy. Happiness is found in the little moments of life.

I finally talked to Nikki yesterday and she had a great trip! Nikki did struggle with Vegas for a few day's but then she found her groove and is loving it. I have not heard all the details of her trip, but I know that she wants to go back to Vegas several more times this year.

My friend, Tim, is just so amazed at Nikki and he said that I did a great job raising her. Well thank you Tim. Tim said she is a whirl wind and that he is having a hard time keeping up with her. Tim also said that he had fun with her, since he has no children this has been an eye opener for him.

This was also sent in motion long before we ever knew it. It was just back in February that I got back in touch with Tim. Tim lives in Vegas and Nikki ended up in Vegas. Tim's house is only five blocks from the church where Nikki was working.

Today I am going to rally the troops. They have a house to clean. The boys want to go fly kites again, and One of my girlfriends and her little girl are going with us. I know that I wont always life near the ocean, so I am going to take every opportunity to go play on it while I can.

Life is good

eco friendly friday

2009-08-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

Here it is another Friday, and another chance to suggest some small ways that we can all help. Reduce footprints ( on my side bar) suggest we all vegan one day a week.

Now for me this is not that hard, but for my husband it is. He loves his meat and he refuses to give it up. That is fine if you are like him, so let me suggest a few other things.

Since I am now having to cook more so that I can have left overs for Rusty and Chris's lunch I have had to get creative. Meat is expensive and I don't feel that they need more meat, so this week I have been just adding more vegi's to whatever I cook.

Last night I made chicken stew. I added an extra can of green bean's instead of adding extra meat. I have started packing Rusty more fruit. Rusty was complaining that he was getting hungry late in the afternoon. So I got grapes and apples and they now go in his lunch so he can snake while he drives.

By adding more fruit and vegi's I am able to stretch our food bill, eat less meat and I am able to get some more good whole foods into my family.

So if you are like me, and you have a strict meat other try cutting them back without them knowing it! I can go vegan and not miss the meat at all.

So what have I done this week to green up my home?

1. All that used plastic ware was sent into work with Chris and Rusty. I saved it from the landfill for a little while.

2. I freecycled a ton of stuff this week. At least that stuff will also be reused before it hits the land fills.

3. Rusty got Chris a job with him, so that they could car pool. We were wondering how we were going to work out the car issue once Chris got a job, now we don't have to wonder any more.

4. I am using old sheets as material for the quilt that I am working on.

5. A girlfriend asked me how to make laundry soap and a few other things, so she will now be making all of her own stuff!

We can change the world one person at a time.

Tell me, what you have done this week?