six weeks out

Well, here I am six weeks out from major surgery, and I am doing so much better! If I had been totally honist with myself and everyone else, well, lets just say I was on the edge of a breakdown.

Never in my life I had I been through a major surgery, had my own dead flesh floating in bathtub or even been so dependent on someone else. Never in my life have I looked down at my chest and seen holes where puss and blood just flowed out. Never in my life have I had someone say to me "you really need some mood stabelizing drugs."

After I was no longer on the edge, my surgeon gave me all the details about my surgery and what was going on. I have a super bacterial infection that cannot be cured by meds. Which I figured. It is by chance that the infection settled in my breast because it could have settled any where. The largest hole in my chest was about three inches and it reached my chest cavity wall. I bled so bad that they had to coterize some of my flesh, and he almost gave me blood. One of my other holes, well the stitches popped open so that also had to be packed. The glands in my arms are about the size of an acorn, but they are starting to get smaller.

I had to take a bath twice a day. Not just any bath, but a nice hot bath where my chest was under water. That did help me remove all the packing, but it also helped get all the dead stuff out. To say the very least it was painful. Then everyday, twice a day Rusty would have to pack my sores. That was also very painful.

Today, my holes are almost healed. I never thought I would see the day when skin would once again cover the holes in my chest. My arms and chest are still very tender and lifting and holding things can still hurt me, but I am getting stronger every day.