Friday, January 30, 2009

eco friendly Friday...death

Rusty and I have long debated about who will die first. I told Rusty that when he dies I am going to take him to a taxidermy and then have placed on something that I could wheel around the house. Then when I get sick of him I can just place him in the closet.
Rusty say's that will never happen because he thinks I am going to die first. He will not donate any of my organs and he wants to carry my ashes around.
The first funeral I remember going to was my grandmother. There she was all laid out in a casket. There were flowers everywhere and back then we even went to the place where they were going to lay her to rest.
There was grandmother in this steel casket that could be sealed. Now who is going to dig up my grandmother and see if her body is perfectly preserved? Why are the holes so deep? Why are caskets steel? Does someone really care is their casket will last forever?
When my father in law died, my mother in law had the body cremated, and she even bought a sea salt urn! I must say that this urn was cool looking. We always said that we were going to go dump dad in the ocean. We thought this would be fitting since he loved to scuba dive. Instead dad ended up sitting in our closet for almost two years.
Then my mother in law died. She had no life insurance, so Rusty and I had her cremated and we did not buy her an urn. Now if you have never picked up someones remains let me tell you how they come. They come in a very fancy zip lock bag and that bag is placed in another bag that is just a little nicer then a crown royal bag.
I ended up driving my mother in law around for a month. I don't know why I did not put her in the closet with dad, but I didn't. We did lay both of to rest at Riverside National cemetery. When I made the arrangements I asked for one plot and one head stone. I figured they lived together all of their lives so why not lay them to rest together.
I am sure by now that dad's urn has dissolved and that he has now become part of the earth again.
When my dad died my mom had his body cremated. We all have little urns that we can wear as necklaces. Yep. I can wear my dad as a piece of jewelry if I wanted to. My mom still has my dad's ashes. I have no idea what she is going to do with them.
Then my sister died. My mom actually rented a casket. Yep, you can now rent a casket before you have someone cremated. My sister's ashes are sitting on her fireplace mantel.
While I was back in Chicago I learned that my mother had her mothers ashes in the ceder chest. Great! So let me guess. I will inherit dad and grandma?
I told Rusty that when I die I want him to steal my body from the morgue, shove me into a torpedo tube, steel the ship, take me out to sea and shoot me out of the cannon. I will be fish food! Rusty asked me if I knew how many laws I was asking him to break.
O.K., so Rusty won't do that for me. So I started researching eco friendly funerals. I don't want to be put in a steal coffin. I want to go back to the earth and I want to give back.
There are actually cemeteries where you don't get a headstone, and you have to be buried in a biodegradable coffin or urn. I like that idea!
The picture at the top of the page is a picture of the urn that I want. With in five minutes of getting wet the urn dissolves.
So, even in death I am going to be eco friendly. Here is what I told Rusty that I want.
1. I want my hair shaved off. People tell me all the time that they love my hair, so I want someone to have it.
2. I want my skin donated to a burn patient.
3. My eyes may be bad, but they would work for a blind person.
4. Then I want to be cremated and placed in biodegradable urn.
5. I want to be lay to rest down at Fort Rosecrans National cemetery. This cemetery is so nice and you can either look out over the San Diego bay or the pacific ocean. I don't want a head stone. A simple wooden cross will work.
Rusty said that he is going to cremate me and leave me in the zip lock bag which will go in a crown royal bag, then he will place the in a big plastic container, and place that in a plastic grocery sack.
I must out live this man!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

My ears hurt.

See that handsome guy shaking hands with a fire fighter? Well that is my hubby. He makes the local paper a couple times a year. The older man sitting down is the man I danced with. I must say that my husband looks older then he is. One person actually asked me if I had a sugar daddy. No, I wish, My husband just looks older then he really is. I will give everyone the link to this article at the end of the post.
My ears have been bothering me since I landed in Chicago. I know while I was in Chicago they were hurting because of the drastic change in weather, and now they are hurting again. Yesterday I coned my ears and got some crap out, and then I took a sudifed and went to bed! This weather is just messing with my head.
I do not have a lot planned for today. I have a lot of little stuff that I need to get done, but nothing earth shattering. I did finally finish the never ending cat quilt. I will have to have Amber take a picture of it. Now I am cutting out all the material for the other quilt that I have to get done.
My sewing machine has been acting up. I have really debated about buying a new one, but I just can't bring myself to go get one. My mother has the same sewing machine that she had when I was a baby, and that machine just keeps going and going. I know they do not make them like they use to, but maybe someday I will be able to afford a nice machine instead of the cheapest thing at wal mart.
I got an e mail from my mom yesterday. She gave me one of my uncle's phone numbers and then told me about what was going on. She is very up set that my niece got a lawyer. I stayed positive in my e mail back to her. I need to remember that a positive response to everything shuts down negativity.
For many years I had to deal with negative people. Then I just got so sick of it, and found some good books on dealing with negativity. I was as guilty as being negative as the next person. It took me a long time to learn to spin everything into a positive light. Once I got good at it, the negative people just started drifting away. Negative people are just that, and they want to drag everyone down with them. As for me, I am not going to be drawn into that cycle again.
I still have not decided if I am going to call my uncle. This uncle is my dad's youngest brother. We really did not know him while we were growing up. By the time my dad got out of the Army and got married his brother was just finishing high school.
Part of me would like to know what he has been up to, and part of me wants to get to know him. However I have to wonder if he is like the rest of my fathers family and is an alcoholic. I just don't want to deal with that. I guess I will never know if I don't call him. I also suppose that if I don't want to speak to him any more, then I can just send all of his calls to voice mail. HMMM I will have to think on this subject a little bit more.
My one foster baby is going back to the shelter and he will get fixed this weekend. He has grown up to be a very handsome young man and he stole the heart of a marine wife. So this baby has a home and he will be living in 29 Palms soon. There is just something very magical about watching these little guys grow up and become big kitties.
I stink. I need a shower.
Life is good

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

the letter s

Betty from over at a corgi's tale gave me the letter s. So I am going to play along and list ten things that I like with the letter s

1. Sesame street, I use to sit and watch this show for hours

2. sewing. No guessing there

3. sweat. I love watching other people do it. O.K. I actually like seeing marines covered in sweat as the run on the beach.

4. soda. I am cutting way back, but I love soda.

5. shrimp. I love shrimp, so when I get it I share it with one of my cats who also likes shrimp.

6. sex. I love having sex with my husband.

7. sucking. I love watching the baby kittens sucking on their bottles.

8. sweetener. I love anything sweet.

9. sunshine. I can play in the sun all day long. The sun is my friend.

10. shrinking. I would love to shrink my waistline.


I do not have a lot planned for today, just more of the same. On my to do list is to get my carpets cleaned and fold a ton of laundry. I hate folding laundry!
Yesterday Amber told me how she feels about my mom getting custody of my niece. It was not nice at all. Amber talked to my niece's step dad and to her step sister. The family is just torn apart by this. They all know that they will never see her again once my mom gets sole custody. The date has been set. My mom will get sole custody on February 25.
I really did not know what to say to Amber. I listened to her rant and express her feelings. Then I finally said well maybe you should tell Gran how you feel. Amber then asked me if I was ever going to speak to my mother again.
I had to think about that. I said at some point I will, but I said my peace before I left and as of right now I have nothing left to say.
Does my silence speak louder then words? Does my silence show the pain that my mom has afflicted on our family? I just don't know. What I do know is that I have come to a point where I am trying to move on and picture my life without my mom in it. I am trying to move past the hurt.
One thing I have learned is that you better be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. My mom wished for custody, and she got it. Soon she will have a 12 year old moving into her house. At 60 something years old my mom will now be raising children again....alone because she has isolated everyone else in the family. How sad.
On Friday my dear husband is going to do our taxes. Oh I so want to have someplace to go! I hate it when he does taxes. There is always very loud grumbling and lots of yelling at the computer! Oh the joys of tax season.
Yesterday went very well. Some of the ladies are met were very up tight, but for the most part they were very nice. I will say that I gained so much knowledge from these ladies, and that is something that you can't put a price tag on!
One of the ladies spoke of her 27 day cruise of all the major battle fields of the pacific. My ears were burning. Rusty had said in the past that he would love to do that. I learned so much from this lady and her pictures were just amazing!
Life is good when you take the time to learn from older women.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

a better day

I have it in my head that today is going to be a great day!

I am looking forward to getting together with these ladies and I willing to learn anything they can teach me. Learning is good.

I still have not talked to my shrink yet, but I have talked with Rusty and the girls, so for now, I am not communicating with my mother. I really do not need the stress that she brings, so I have chosen to let it all go for now.

On Friday we have another Marine coming home from Iraq! I can't wait to give him a hug. They always say, I smell stop hugging me, but I don't care what they smell like, I just keep hugging them!

Since I have to go to base anyway I am going to take my foster baby in to get fixed. One of the marines is going to adopt the kitten. I also know that baby season is coming up and I will have more babies. I just wish that people would get their animals fixed. One day I hope to be out of a job.

Nikki is getting a life lesson on bills. Nikki is working at this little mom and pop pizza joint and she is doing some babysitting on the side. Last night Nikki said that she is thinking about trying to pick up some extra babysitting jobs, because she is not getting a lot of hours at the pizza joint. Nikki has discovered that between putting money in savings, giving to the church and paying her cell phone bill, that she does not have a lot left over. I am just glad that she is learning all of this now in the safety of our home and not once she left home.

Amber is still struggling to find a job. At one point she did have a job, it did not work out. Amber hates not having money, so I am paying her cell phone bill and her car insurance.

I don't mind helping Amber out. I helped Nikki out and now it is Amber's turn. I try to be fair across the board when it comes to the girls. What I do for one I try very hard to do for the other.

My shower is calling me. I need to finish up a little bit one a tie blanket, so I better get my bum in gear!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Trying to move on

I got some great news today! I have been fighting with the state over my medical insurance and today I had an angle sent to me. I talked with a man from the state review board and he is willing to help me. One day next week I have to take all of my medical bills down to his office and he is going to make sure that they all get paid....without my outrageous deductible!
This man also suggested that I apply for disability. I told this nice man that I do not qualify, but he seems to think I will. Since I am so young, and the doctors want to take all my plumbing, but the state won't pay for it, I would be limited on what I could do for work.
Rusty said that we should look into it, because at least that way I would also have medical insurance.
The sad thing is this man is seeing more and more people like me. The working poor and veterans dependents with no health coverage. This is a sad but a true fact.
I called Rusty with my news and he was happy for me! I may have beaten down, but I fought the system and I am getting what I needed and that is to get me bills paid.
Today I spent the day cleaning up the house and getting laundry done. I also had to go get a starter for Ambers car. One of the marines put it on for us today. From the time I left to go to Chicago and then came home, the starter went out on Ambers car's and my car is now over heating. So we got Ambers car running today. I need at least one car to run.
Tomorrow I have been invited to join a group of ladies called Daughters of the American Revolution . I am not sure what I am suppose to do there, but my girlfriend is speaking to these ladies on the quilting that we do for the wounded warrior battalion. I guess I should look up and see what exactly these ladies are about. I was thinking about not going, but I am going to go because it will be something different, and I am always up for something different!
As for what is going on with my mom and my niece. Everyone went into court today, and the judge gave my mom temp. custody and then on Feb. 25 she will get permanent custody. I found all of this out from brother in law.
I just can't bring myself to call my mom. Just speaking to my mom causes me to have a lot of stress. I can still feel the stress in my bones!
I was thinking about calling my mom and telling here about my good news, but I know she would not listen, so why bother.
I can't wait to get together with my shrink. I am sick of feeling the stress, and I am sure Rusty is sick of hearing about it.
So for now, I have decided to not have any contact with my mom.
Well, I need to get busy with my sewing. I still need to finish that never ending baby quilt, and I just found out that we have another marine leaving in five weeks, so I have to get a quilt done for him.
You know me....I work better under pressure! LOL

Sunday, January 25, 2009

this old girl

I had a blast last night! I danced with all the marines, and a few times we cleared the floor when we were swinging. This old girl still has it!
There is a WWII veteran that I always kiss when I see him. Years ago this man said to me "I love to be kissed by beautiful girls", so I kiss him. Last night I asked this man to dance with me. He just smiled and we went to the dance floor. I said " tell me about your wedding day." This gentlemen said "that was a long time ago, my bride was beautiful and we had a full military honors wedding. We danced to bugle boy of company b." I love talking to older people because they have so many stories to tell, if people would just take the time to ask them about their life.
Right now Rusty and Jake are cooking breakfast and it smells so good! I put in a request for french toast, so I am sitting here and getting hungrier and hungrier by the minute.
Life is good. I have a husband who loves me, all of my children are here, a house full of animals and marines. What more could a women want?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

lazy day

Today it was so nice to just be able to sleep in!
I really have not done anything to productive today, but I did get unpacked and I got our bedroom cleaned up, so that is good.
While I was home I found a picture of mt when I was about one. My grandfather was holding me and he was just smiling. There are not that many pictures of me and that grandfather, so I now treasure that picture. I took the picture to Walgreen's and I had a copy made of it. I also added the text, "guess who?" No one has guessed it. They are all shocked when I tell them that is me. I was such a cute baby and my grandfather was very handsome!
I hear people talk about facebook all the time. I even went to the home page and I thought about getting an account there, but I just can't bring myself to do that. I found out that someone posted my sister's death on facebook. I am kinda interested in seeing what was said, but I am scared to see it. It all most seems like the people from high school have never grown up. I don't know. I am just struggling with that.
Tonight I am going down to the vfw. We are having a dinner for the firemen who saved our post from burning to the ground. I don't really want to go, but it is important to Rusty, so I will be there for him. Besides I need to get into the swing of things again.
Amber starts classes on Monday. This semester she will be taking a computer class, and yoga. I think Amber is going to be a yoga instructor. She is so good at it and she loves that class. I don't really care what she majors in as long as she is happy.
We need to work on Amber's car. It took a crap while I was in Chicago. We did not worry about then, but now we have to get it fixed. I just hope that it is not expensive to repair. I am just hoping for an easy fix!
I better go get ready to go meet Rusty.

Friday, January 23, 2009

back home

I am finally home! It feels so good to wonder around my home and know that it is mine. Last night I got to sleep next to my husband and my dog got to sleep on my legs. Life is good.
I called my shrink today and we are going to sit down and have coffee next week. I have a lot to process and any decisions that I make will have a huge impact on my children. I need to start to process all of this, but it will have to wait for another day.
Today it is back to the grind for me. The house is in great shape. My girls did an awesome job! Amber and Nikki were so happy to see me, and Amber even said "I am so happy that you are home, you can have your job back!"
I pulled some pictures out of my suitcase and the girls grabbed them. They were having fun looking at all the pictures until they got to the one's of my sister in the coffin. They thought that was just creepy. The dead know one thing and that is that it is better to be alive.
I do not feel like doing anything today. I just want to curl up next to Rusty and feel his arms around me. Rusty is not just my husband, he is my best friend, my protector, and my rock to lean on.
However I need to start to get back into a routine. I need to go run a few errand's, and I am thinking about taking the girls out to lunch. I should cook dinner tonight, but I am just not in the mood. Maybe Rusty and I will go get something to eat.
My day is calling me.
Life is good

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

quick note

I finally had enough. one of my friends came up to visit and we spent the day hanging out. Then when they left another friend came over Iowa! She packed up the triplets, drove 5 hours one way, and then we drove 5 hours back to Iowa!
So here I sit in Iowa and I am regaining sanity.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

the funeral

Well, I made it. I held it together. I kept everything on a shelf where it belongs.
I put on black suit, I put on one of my late mother in laws head coverings. I put on the heals, the black pearls, and I took a deep breath.
I was down stairs smoking when some of the family walked in. The first person I saw when I came up the stairs was my cousin Howie. His jaw just dropped. We have not seen each other in 18 years. Howie just opened his arms and I walked right into them and hugged him so tight.
Once we got to the funeral home, I went in and looked at my sister. At first I thought I had the wrong room. It did not even look like the person I use to know. I just stood there shaking. I finally just let loose and spoke my mind. I told her how much I hated her, how made she made me, and she made my life a living hell. Speaking my peace really did not make me feel better, but there it was.
After that I went and sat in a chair and just waited for everyone to start showing up. One of my Aunts came up to me and said "What is with your head covering?" This aunt and I have words all the time. She is always right, and if you don't fit into what she things is right then you are wrong. I just looked at her and said " this head scarf belonged to my late mother in law. I think it is just the most beautiful in the world and that is why I am wearing it." She left me alone after that.
The first one of my dad's family to show up was my cousin Chris. I have not seen him in 18 years. He is just as tall as i remember, but he looks more and more like his father everyday. Someone actually pointed him out to me. I got up to give him hug and just like when we were children he picked me up. Chris is about 6'4" and about 250 pounds. He is no small man by any means.
I sat back in my chair and I did not see anyone else for a very long time. I was coming out of the bathroom when someone said my name. I turned around and just stared at this gentlemen. Oh my it was cousin David. I was not close to David but he and Chris are brothers, so we were always together while we were growing up.
Then David said to me "Kelli do remember Shelly? We got married." I about fell over! I had heard that he and Shelly got married, but she was nothing like I remembered.
I just had to smile to myself. Back in the day Shelly was the most perfect girl I knew, and she came from money. I heard that they even flew to south Africa so that she could get a diamond for her wedding ring. Shelly was not as pretty as I remembered, and she had a small as rock on her finger! I guess things change over the years.
When Chris went to leave I walked up to him and gave him a hug, and we were just talking when his wife decides to join our conversation. I just ignored her and kept talking to Chris when she opened her mouth again. I finally said "Excuse me but I am trying to have a conversation with my cousin will you please shut up?" The wife finally left. This women thinks everyone else is after her man, she really needs to get a grip.
I spent most of the day sitting with Howie. I just sat there with my head on his shoulder. We talked about so many things. It was to just talk and laugh and not have any of it revolve around my sister.
The service was nice. I must admit that it was hard to watch my niece say good bye to her mom. They had to pull her off the casket. I do feel bad for this child.
After everything was said and done I guess it was a nice nice as a funeral could be.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

doing my best

I am so not look forward to this day. Today I have to lay my sister to rest. I have to watch my niece fall apart. I know I can do this, but man I sure don't want to.

Yesterday i helped my mom look through boxes and boxes of pictures so that she could make a photo display of my sister. My niece held up a picture and said "Who is this?" My mom just grinned and said "that is my mom". Mt niece looked at the picture a little long and finally said "She does not look like and alcoholic". So mom said "Well what does an alcoholic look like?" My niece said "dead".

My niece keeps saying that alcohol killed her mom and for the most part she is write. I just hope that she will learn from this and never touch the stuff.

I tried on my suit yesterday and it was a perfect fit. Actually it was a little on the tight side. I just hope that I did not gain any weight between yesterday and today. I guess that answers the question of what to do with all of my suits. I am going to donate them. No sense in keeping stuff that does not fit.

I miss Rusty so much and I so wish he was here for me. I just don't know if I can do this. I just don't know if I can be strong enough to hold it all together for my mom and niece. I just don't know.

I am dealing with more then the loss of a sister, I am dealing with a lot of demons at the same time. I came home when my dad was in his final day's, but he died something like 4 day's after I went back to California. Everyone conversation my mom has with people has the phrase, yes Kelli is here.

I never did come back here when my dad died, and now I have to face the fact that I will see people who probably think I am a heal for not coming back to help my family lay my dad to rest. I know I ran from this place and I know that I have great life now, but as much as I act cold and heartless, I am not.

I am also facing the fact that I think my children are going to loose their grandmother. If my mom get custody of my niece then all the visits by my mother will come to a screeching halt. it sounds easy to say "well just send the children for a visit." but it is not that easy. The girls have job's, and they both want to spend time with my mom, but they do not want to share that time with my niece. I can't say that I blame them.

Today I am going to not only lay my sister to rest, but I am also laying to rest the idea that my mom might actually become an active part of my children's life. I have set my mind to the fact that once I leave Chicago I will be leaving my mom. I can feel my self detaching from this whole situation. It is not good, but I can't stop it. I need to show some emotion, other then a stone cold face, but for whatever reason I can't.

I should go do my hair and start getting ready today. There is only one bathroom here, so it is going to be a hectic morning.

****side note**** go over to reduce your footprint. She is under people that follow me, and you can also find her in my comment section. Anyway, I wrote an article for her.

Friday, January 16, 2009

baby its cold here

Well, I am here. I am back in the house I grew in. I even slept in my old bedroom, with the aid of some sleeping pills!
The hell child is also here. I am being very civil. I am trying. I really am. The girls asked me do to my best to be nice because they don't know what they would do if they lost me.
O.K. I am trying. I did however pack my shirt that says " mean people need to be loved to!"
When I left San Diego yesterday it was 80 degree's. I loved it. I arrived into Chicago to cool -7. I called my mom and said "I am here and I have my bag. I will be the only fool standing on the curb wrapped up in a blanket!
My mom is out getting her done, and as soon as she walked out the door the phone started ringing.I don't even know what I am suppose to say to these people. I am the periodical child. I ran from here and never looked back. I don't even know any of these people.
My fathers relatives are now crawling out of the wood work. Growing up my cousins and I were thick as thieves. Over the years we have gone our own ways and started our own families and we all just lost touch. I thought that was normal.
My dad's youngest brother called the house last night, and it was strange to talk to him.
One of the girls said "mom you have cousins?" Yes I have cousins. My dad is from a big Irish Catholic family, they breed like jack rabbits! I guess tomorrow is going to be like a family reunion for me. It is a good thing I brought my camera!
I have been here less then 24 hours and I so want to go home. I want to sleep in my bed. I want to curl up with dog.
Am I suppose to cry? Everyone keeps asking me if I am o.k. Why wouldn't I be? My sister and I were not close and we both hated each other. We never called each other, we have never exchange e mails....nothing. She was just the other person that grew up here with me.
Maybe it hit me. Maybe one day I can lay all of my hate away, but right now I have not.
I called one of my girlfriends that lives about an hour south of my parents house, and I think they are going to come visit me. It will be nice to see them! I have never seen or held their baby, but she is not a baby anymore, she is three. I do hope that they come and visit me!
Today we have to go buy food to take to the funeral home. Some people have called and said that they are bringing some stuff in, but I guess we need more. We have more family coming in tonight. I am guessing that my ass is getting booted to the basement. I better go bring in some wood fire up the wood burning stove. That is the only source of heat down there. I guess all the years I spent splitting, stacking and carrying wood has paid off. This old girl still knows how to do all of that.
Oh crap I need to go try on the suit I brought. If it does not fit then I will have to go buy something today.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

did I forget something?

O.K. My mom is still in shock. She has not even called any of the family, so I told her that I would.
I swear on all that is holy I have the most dysfunctional family there is! No one will even return my phone call. The one person that I really need to get a hold of keeps having his son tell me that he is busy. If my cousin does not call me back soon I am going to just leave a voicemail that says "YOUR COUSIN IS DEAD!"
I have my suitcase packed. My black suit is in it. My train case is packed. I have made some arrangements to have meals brought in. Rusty is coming home from his trip early. Oh and I leave tomorrow.
Rusty said that he is proud of me for going back there. I always said that I would not pee on my sister if she was on fire, but she is still my sister, and my mom needs me.
I have no idea where I am going to sleep. My dad died in my old bedroom, so I won't be sleeping there. I can't sleep in my sisters old room. That is just creepy. I guess I get the sofa.
A dear friend stopped by and she offered to bring dinner over tomorrow night. It was nice to sit on the swing and hold the hand of a girlfriend.
Earlier today I was just walking around lost. So I decided to go straighten my hair. I was almost done pulling the last curl out of my long black hair when I was visited my my Native American grandmother. She was right there in the mirror looking back at me. She even had on her traditional dress. I grabbed some make up and attempted to put it on. That is when my cheek bones got so high that they were damn near touching my eye's. I do not look Native American. My mom and my oldest daughter look Native American, I look Irish.
At the same time this was going on Raven was leaving me a comment. Raven is also Native American.
I felt so alone. Rusty is not here. I am trying to be strong for my children and what I really needed was for someone to be here with me. I am not alone. My family has come to visit me today.
Tomorrow I will go back to Chicago and face my own demons. My life will change forever. I will have to be strong for my mom and I will have to bite my tongue around the rest of my family.
I can do this.

still in shock

I called my mom this morning to see how she was holding up. Chicago is getting hammered by a really bad winter storm.
My mom was crying when she answered the phone. My sister died last night.
My sister went to check the mail, something happened and they found her face down in the snow. My mom said that her heart was enlarged from her drinking, so she is guessing.......
I will not be leaving yet. Chicago is closed down, so I can't even get in yet anyway.
Life is what happens while you are busy planning for the future.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

welcome back

Amber came back from her trip last night. It was so good to see her! I almost forgot what a wonderful young women she has become. I must say that I enjoy my children now more then ever.
Rusty left for his trip today. I am hoping to see him Saturday night, but I will definitely see him Sunday. This trip did catch me off guard, but I came up with a schedule to keep me busy. I am going to go through the house a room at a time and do a super scrub down. This house could use a good scrubbing.
Today I started with this hallway that is just piled up with trash. What is that about? I had a ladder and a box of Christmas trash just sitting there. I also went and put away all the stuff that I just piled up. Then I cleaned the carpets in that room.
I want to know where all of this stuff is coming from? I am forever getting rid of stuff and yet more stuff keeps showing up! I am going to catch those elves one day.
Amber told me today that she wants to find love and wants to get married. I want that for her as well, and someday I hope that she finds it. All I could say was "Just keep doing what you love, keep traveling and love will find you. I promise." I do hope that is enough for Amber.
Tonight I do not have much planned. I think I am going to sit in bed and work on a blanket. I still have not finished the never ending blanket, but I am going to find the time to work on it tomorrow.

Monday, January 12, 2009

awesome weekend!

This weekend was so great. I know most of you are going to hate me, but it has been up in the mid 80's all weekend and today is suppose to be even nicer!
Friday I went to a yard sale and found a pasta maker! I have been wanting one, but not wanting to pay full price for one. So I bought one for three bucks and let me tell you it was so worth it! We had the best pasta ever. Even Rusty said it was great. The difference is the pasta actually had taste, and was not just a filler for the sauce. So this week I am going to make up a ton of pasta and freeze it.
Yesterday I grabbed one of the marines and we went looking for yard sales. We only found one, but I cleaned up there! I found a new pair of dickies for Ryan and a pair of jeans for Nikki. They were 50 cent each! I also found a big stack of handkerchiefs, some plastic cooking utensils, and two really cute large bags! Everything I needed for a grand total of $4!
Then we went to down town Lake Elsinore and went to this little coffee shop and let me tell you they had the best iced coffee. This place also had a huge chess set, so I taught the marine how to play chess.
We came home from that and I cleaned out Rusty's truck. Rusty leaves tomorrow for another sale, so I wanted to do something nice for him, and Rusty did like it.
I mentioned to Rusty that I heard about this hot dog place that says they have the best Chicago style hot dogs. O.K. I am from Chicago, so I will be the judge of that. This is a little mom and pop place and they are expanding! They did have great hot dogs. They also had a sign that said European hot dogs. Europe has the best hot dogs ever! They put Chicago style hot dogs to shame. So I had to ask if they were true European hot dogs, with European buns. The lady looked shocked that I knew what I was talking about. She said they will have those style of buns in in a few weeks.
I will have to take the girls there. Nikki wants to try a European hot dog and Amber and I love them already!
Today I want to get my bedroom and bathroom scrubbed down. I am not going to spend to much time cleaning because I also want to go to the lake and catch some rays! I have a book and sun, what more could a girl ask for?
Amber comes home tonight! I do hope that she had a great time. It will be nice to have her home.
I do need to go to the store and pick up some stuff for Rusty to take on his trip, but other then that The day is mine! I can't wait to go play in the sun.

Friday, January 9, 2009

eco friendly Friday

Yep, Valentines day is right around the corner. We just get all of Christmas stuff put away, we take a little break and here comes Valentines day.

Valentines day is not one of my favorite days, but if Rusty forgets it I will be sad, because that is the one time a year that he buys me chocolate covered strawberries. Oh I can taste them now.

The other day when I was cleaning out the closet I found some valentines that the children had made for Rusty. They were very simple, and yet Rusty loved them! I want to bring some simplicity back to my valentines day.

I have done a little research on some eco friendly idea's for Valentines. Our son only has 5 children in his class, so I have discovered that animal planet has valentines that you can print out! I think this is a very good idea. I can use my recycled paper, print just what I need. I won't have to waste the gas to go to the store, I won't have to buy more then I need! This is so perfect, if you only need a few Valentines for your children to pass out.

Chocolate is my down fall. I think at one point in my life I did make it a food group. I started looking at some more eco friendly chocolate, and there is a lot out there! My favorite is the endangered spices chocolate. they will donate a % of each sales to endangered animals, and the chocolate is all natural and not made with slave labor.

I am always looking for way's to spice things up, but while doing it on a shoe string budget. This year I think I am going to make our bedroom look as romantic as possible. I will light a few candles, bring in a bottle of sparkling cider, put on a new little thing ( that I got for Christmas) and I just hang out with my husband. I am not asking for a lot, and I want to make it as nice as possible for as little as possible.

I want this valentines day to be special with out a lot of money being spent. Flowers die and they are expensive, balloons deflate and end up never breaking down in our land fills. Or worse yet they end up in the ocean and they kill animals.

You don't have a valentine? Then make one. Start think about how many different way's you can make someone else feel special this valentines day. Can you buy a bag of dog or cat food and take it to a shelter? Can you buy a pack of diapers and donate them? Can you offer to babysit so a single mom can take a bath in peace.

I want to hear from everyone. How are you going to green up your Valentines day? Please check out the following links.

get a grip

There are a few things that expect when I go to the commissary. I expect to see old people, young couples, active duty guy's, and mothers with their small children.

I also know that when you marry someone in the military you will have to leave po dunk no where and go where ever the military sends you. Yes, some places are more expensive then other.

I know that the military is getting a raise this year. However let me break this down. We may be getting a pay raise, but lets not forget that taxes will be taken out of that money. We do not pay taxes if we shop on base, but we do pay a 7% service charge for using the commissary. Yes, it can still be cheaper to shop there, but if you look around you can also find way better deals out in town.

With all of this said, I went to the commissary today. I had my general list and I know that I will be walking out of there about $250 lighter then when I went in. *SIDE NOTE this is actually good, because it will last me a month except for bread, milk and produce that I buy weekly,*

I am minding my own business looking for the sales and looking at all the coupons. When I hear this women scream "I hate California the prices just keep going up and there goes our pay raise!"

I walked past her and I just had to look in her cart. Frozen pizza, corn dogs, soda, juice and chips. I so wanted to grab her and say get a grip! You have nothing in your cart of nutrition value and yes lady junk food is expensive! I feed a family of five, two big dogs and five cat's on less then $500 a month and that includes toilet paper and cleaning supplies!

I just kept walking. Then this lady start's yelling at her child because this child is climbing up the shelving! I would have never gotten away with that, and sure as hell did not let my children do that. I would have spanked them right then and there.

I am just amazed at this women. I know her husband would have been embarrassed if he had seen this. Oh this women has a long hard road a head of her.

Other then that my day has been great!

Thursday, January 8, 2009


I had a few comments on my no spending diet, so I thought I would share some things that have been going on with that and how it has changed my thinking and my out look on a few things.
I mentioned yesterday that I so wanted to order a pizza, but I knew that would be expensive. Well, expensive for us. Instead I went out to the garage and looked at my over flow shelf and found dinner.
Yesterday I went into a sporting goods store that almost always has shoes on clearance. I found $60 scatter shoes for $20! They are really cool looking, and Nikki told me that they were top of the line and the must have shoes. I bought Chris (Nikki's boyfriend) and Ryan a pair. Ryan just got new shoes, but he is growing so fast, so I bought them in his next size and just put them up.
The shoes that Chris had were full of holes! Now I told Chris that I would help him out since he is now on his own. However by not buying pizza, I was able to have the extra money to buy him new shoes.
Yesterday for dinner I made bbq pork sandwiches and I had to make the bread for those sandwiches. I ended up using three half open bottles of bbq sauce and everything turned out great. I am learning to use everything up.
My no spending diet has helped to really stretch my mind when it comes to finding new way's to do without. I don't think that we are really doing without. I am banking more money and that has really come in handi when things break, or I do find a good deal and I am able to stock up.
I still do a major shopping once a month, and then I do buy produce every week. I found this place that has three orange tree's and they allow us to pick oranges! So we are eating a lot of oranges and I have started making fresh O.J. in the morning.
Another blogging friend mentioned today that she went to the thrift store to buy some new stuff! I am so proud of her.
I asked Nikki last night if Chris liked his shoes, because he would not put them on yesterday. Nikki said that Chris just felt bad because people are buying him things and he does not have a job yet. I simply said "I told Chris that I would help him out".
Nikki and I had a long talk about Chris and the shoes. It turns out that his mom never kept her word. Chris has never had people step up to help him or do something for him just because it is the right thing to do. How sad. I was also told that his mom would turn people away, because she thought that they would want something from her.
I told Nikki that I am going to teach Chris a lesson and that lesson is that not everyone in the world is out to get you, that people do care, and that I am going to make such an impact on him that he will one day look back and say "I once knew this lady..."
One of my goals for this week was to get my closet cleaned out. I did actually get that done yesterday. O.K. I got my stuff cleaned out. Rusty still has a few boxes that are packed with stuff, but I just shoved them to his side of the closet.
I have this box in the closet that I throw papers into and I have all of Rusty and mine old letters in there. I was digging in the box and I came across a newspaper clipping of me. I had the hair all done and the make up was perfect. I showed Rusty that article and he said "I have never seen this one."
Someplace I also have a tape from when I was on CNN. That was a life time ago. Rusty was in Iraq and I was working in the corporate world. It is so hard for me to believe that it was only about 8 years ago. I look at those pictures and I look at my suits and think that is was a life time ago.
Trading in the corporate life and staying home with the children is the best thing I have ever done!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

What I really wanted to do yesterday was order pizza for dinner. But then I remembered that I was still on my no spending diet. So I made a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup. Everyone ate it up, so it must have been good. Tonight I am making bbq pork sandwiches and I will be making the bread. I am so not in the mood to make bread, but once again, since we are out of bread, and my shopping day is not until this weekend, I have to make it. Sometimes being on a no spending diet sucks.
I heard yesterday that if you increased your sex by two more times a week that you will add an extra three years to your life. Really? So I mentioned this to Rusty and he just looked at me and said "So I will live to be older then dirt plus three years?" Yes dear you are going to live for ever, now lets have sex!
How can a cat sleep in any where, any time? The kitten just crawled up onto my lap and fell asleep. The strange thing is he is sleep with his head damn near tucked under him. Doesn't that hurt his neck?
Today I have a few errands to run, but other then that I am going to just hang out around here. However this weekend is suppose to be very warm, so I just might have to grab some shorts and head down to the lake. Maybe I can add a little bit of color to my legs.
Nikki's boyfriend's (Chris) mother has been on the war path for a over a week now. She is calling everyone and is trying like hell to locate Chris. She still thinks that Chris is living here, but she won't come here. Any way yesterday Chris finally called her and Chris spoke his mind. I am glad to see that the boy finally grew a pair!
I have not talked to my Cajun boy's today. I am going to assume that no news is good news. I will call Amber later and see how they are doing.
We heard from another marine that is still in Iraq. He will be home this month! I can't wait to have another one of my boys come home. Home comings are so much fun.
The never ending quilt is coming along very nicely. I really like this pattern, and I think the next time I make it, it will go quicker since I have already done the pattern before. If children would stop growing then I would not have to keep making them new quilts!
I better get my day started. Oh wait, I still have a sleeping baby on my lap.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

my cajun boys

Kelli: Amber I just checked the bank and your child support check has not hit. If it does not hit tonight I will take some money out of savings and put it in your account.
Amber: Don't worry about it right now. I have not spent any money. We are going to Mississippi today.
Kelli: Why are you going to Mississippi?
Amber: The boys stopped there to see their mom and she had another heart attack, so we are going to go see her.
Kelli: She had another heart attack even after she had three stints put in?
Amber: yep
Kelli: If their mom dies call either Rusty or I asap! I know the boys know what to do, but they will be to frantic to think. I will walk you guy's through sending red cross messages.
Amber: O.K. I will.
There it is. My poor Cajun boys should be having the time of their lives. The should be planning a bachelor party and getting their uniforms ready for the big day. Instead they are at the bed side of their mom. I just wish I was there to give them both a big hug.
Yesterday our cable and Internet went out. I was so bummed! I did not know what to do. The Internet I can do with out, but I have to have my t.v. as back ground noise. I got some sewing done, and got the kitchen cleaned up, but I was going crazy. I am just glad that everything is up and running again!
Yesterday I was walking around filling up everyone's soft soap bottles. I looked in the shower and discovered that Ryan's body soap wash was not going down. Yep just as I thought, Ryan has not been washing his body. So last night I had to stand in the bathroom and walk him through washing his body. I was hoping that by the age of 13 I would not have to do this any more, but I guess I was wrong. Will this ever end? I think I just need to come to grips with the fact that I will forever be doing certain things for him. SIGH
My day is calling me and it is going to be a bust day. I have to pull something out for dinner, cook it, take Nikki and Chris to school, do some laundry...... oh the joy's of a stay at home mom!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Chilling all weekend

Here it is Sunday night and I am finally getting around to writing. Man this has been a crazy weekend for me.
I had to take Amber up to the airport so she could go to Louisiana. One of the marines is getting married, and she is in the wedding. Anyway, we were running late, so I was flying up the freeway, we finally get there, and I told Amber to run. Amber calls me a few minutes later to tell me that they won't let her on! I told her to start crying and to push up her boobs and get on that aircraft! She sent me a text saying that she got on. I am just such a good mom! LOL
One of the other marines is now U.A. Yep, I there it is. If anyone shows up here I know nothing.
Another marine walked in and bent over, put his head on my shoulder and started to cry. His mother just had a massive heart attack. She ended up having 3 stents put in.
Yesterday I just sat in bed and worked on tie blankets. I was so not in the mood to do much else. Today however was very different. I got the cleaning bug today. I scrubbed this house down today.
I discovered that the elves have been in my closet taking in one of my coats. I have an old Navy p coat and I love it! I found that coat at a thrift stores years ago. I went to put it on the other night and it was tight. I need to ask the girls if they want it. Now I am on the hunt for another p coat. I think I will hide this one so elves won't touch it.
I was out with Rusty and the boy's this weekend. We just went down to the VFW, and it was the usual crowd and the usual D.J. Well the D.J. went out to smoke and some young guy that was working all that stuff Say's "Are you with Rusty?" Being the smart ass that I am I said "Well Kinda, I am married to him. I walk outside and I tell the D.J. what that kid said to me. The D.J. just laughed and said "Well I am teaching my son to go for the cougars." I just smiled and said "I will kill your son."
side note. A cougar is a much older women who goes after younger men. Oh no thank you there!
Well the kitten is now playing on the desk, so I better get off here before he starts helping me.

Friday, January 2, 2009

eco friendly Friday

It is a new year and with it comes a new commitment to reducing and recycling.
Last year I made great strides. I started looking at all of my packaging and really checking to see what else I could recycle. By doing that I have reduced my trash to one trash bag a week.
I have started using nothing but my canvas bag’s and that has really helped to reduce my plastic consumption.
I have started doing some carpooling which really helps save me time and gas.
I have always loved yard sales and thrift stores, but now I am really looking for used items and not buying new items. I am also really trying to find ways to reuse the items that I have and buying doing that I am discovering that my trips to the stores have really slowed down.
I have started buying organic and local food. I have even started asking people if I can pick their fruit. Everyone I have asked gave me the look of please take it.
Over this past year I have really gotten my husband on board with some of these things. The part that my husband likes is the fact that we are saving money.
Last week I was telling Rusty about a show I saw where some people had planted a living wall. These people planed Ivy in their house. By doing this is helped to clean the air, cool the house and it looked really cool.
So that got me to thinking. How can I plant a living wall? In the summer time the sun just pounds one side of the house. After much discussion with Rusty and Warren here is what we came up with.
For the window in the dinning room and one of the windows in the kitchen we are going to plant rose bushes right outside the window. Not only will smell good, but they will also block out the sun.
As for the windows on the back of the house. We have 4 huge windows on the back of the house. Warren suggested that I plant green beans. At first I was lost, but Warren said that once we get a trellis built the green beans will form a natural curtain. O.K. now it is starting to come together for me. I am also going to plant some corn in front of the windows.
Rusty and I have had many conversations about planting more vegetables. So I have my list of everything that he would like me to plant.
Living in California we have a very long growing season, so I am hoping that we will have plenty to eat all summer long. No I do not can and I don’t want to learn. LOL
Rusty just amazes me because he use to laugh at me, and now on certain things he is starting to come around.
I have a few small goals for this year.
1. I am giving up toothpaste and I am going to use baking soda instead. Baking soda is more natural and the box is easier to recycle the plastic.
2. No more tissues at all. Rusty has a ton of handkerchief’s and we are going to start using them.
3. This last one I hope is going to be very easy….. We will buy nothing new for the house or our children….except new undies and shoe‘s. This also falls under my no spending diet.
So here it is. My new goals for this year.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

looking back

Here it is new years day and in my house I am the only one up.
Last night we went down to the VFW and we had a nice time. I saw some friends that I had not seen in a while and that will always put a smile on my face.
For Christmas I told Rusty that I wanted a true old fashion ladies hat pin, and I even told him what antique store to go find them in. Rusty picked out the prettiest pin, so last night I had to wear a hat. An older lady that I have never seen before made a comment to me that you don't see very many women wearing hats any more. I wonder why that is? I love hats and my hat pin!
Last year was a very busy year for us. Lets see...
we moved twice
Amber lost her money while in Rome
Nikki went back to Nicaragua
Amber graduated high school
Nikki had a sweet sixteen
I had the biggest medical scare of my life
I organized a blanket drive for the veterans home
I started quilting for the wounded warrior's
I fostered three litters of kitten
I met a ton of new marines
We watched the marines leave for Iraq and we welcomed them home
Amber started dating an army guy
Today I am going to put on a pot of ham and beans. I hate ham and bean's but just about everyone else loves it. It is also a good way for me to use up that ham bone. I am also going to work on a quilt. That is about all I planned for today.

About Me

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lake elsinore, ca
I am a stay at home mom. I am also married to a veteran and he is the love of my life. I keep it real here and I hold nothing back. My life is a roller coaster ride, so strap on your seatbelt.... here we go!