Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My spirit is happy

I in a place where spirit does not go very often. It is place of calm and Joy.
I don't think I could ever express how happy I am to have my girlfriend and her children here. I don't have many girlfriends that I just hang out with, so I am enjoying my hanging out time.
Today Chris was with us and he just kept grinning at my girlfriend and I . I finally asked him what he was grinning at and he said "I have never seen you with a girlfriend." My girlfriend and I just laughed. We both know the reason we get along so well is because we both hate drama, gossip and bull shit. I don't know if Chris understands but that is the way it is.
My girlfriend got right into housing, so tomorrow she has to go check into her unit and then pick up the keys to her house. I am so glad that she will have this taken care of before she has to start working.
Thursday we are taking the children to the beach. I can't wait to play in the ocean with the children. I think the triplets are old enough to learn to body surf, so maybe I will teach them how to do that.
I am just so relaxed right now. I don't care that my house is a mess, I actually like it. I have to admit something. The other day when my girlfriend and I walked in the house the front room was covered in Barbies and everything that Barbie could own. When my girls were little that is how my house looked all the time. Rusty and I would wait for the children to go to bed and then we would walk around and pick everything up and clean the floors. Only to have it all destroyed when the children got up. I miss those days and I wish I could have them back.
That is o.k. I am going to spend this week making more memories. I am living the good old days.

Monday, June 29, 2009

sitting and watching

As I sit here and watch my children's lives unfold I have to wonder why they don't listen to me.
Several months ago Nikki was told about an opportunity to go to Africa for year. This has been one of Nikki's goal's for a very long time, but she turned the offer down. I said nothing because I knew why she turned it down.
Now Nikki is starting to rethink all of her life. The other day Nikki said that she wants to break up with Chris because she can sees that they are going in different directions. My mind was racing. Did I not say that two years ago? I saw it all back then and Rusty and I tried to warn Nikki about this and yet she would not listen.
I finally said "I told you so". That was when Nikki said "Yes but if I would have listened then you guys would have won at breaking Chris and I up."
I kept my mouth shut and chose my words very carefully. I finally said "You this was not about Chris. Chris is a good kid. This is about you putting your dreams and goals on hold for someone who is moving in a different direction then you. This is about you finding someone who shares your passion. You just gave someone two years of your life, and you can never have them back."
Nikki no sees what Rusty and I have been saying. Nikki is now thinking about that Africa trip after she graduates high school. I am glad.
I also sat down and talk to Chris. I told him that the two of them are moving in different direction, and that there is nothing wrong with that. It is called life. Chris does understand, but he is hurt. I think a lot of his hurt comes from being rejected by his family. I think he is trying very hard to find someone to hold onto, and that is fine, but I just hope that he discovers that he needs to be is own number one priority right now.
I told Chris that he is always welcome here, even if him and Nikki break up. Rusty and I gave him our word, and we will keep our word.
Amber. Oh that child. I found out last night that she turned down a babysitting job, so that she could be here when the triplets arrived. I did not chew here out. I just looked at her and said "Let me get this straight. You turned down money so you could see the triplets. They will be for almost a month, and you have not paid your phone bill yet."
Amber tried to come back with, "Well you know Nikki and Chris would not watch the kids while you guys are gone."
I fired back with "They would if you were not here." Amber just walked away.
I guess Amber will learn. I don't know.
I have taken a very backseat in the girls lives. I offer my advice once and if they don't listen then I let them fall. At least I am letting them fall in the safety of our home and not on the streets somewhere.
The triplets will be here before to much longer! I can't wait to hug them. Then their mom and I have to unpack the u haul and head up to 29 palms, so she can check into housing. My girlfriend has a hard top jeep, so I am so wanting to take the top off. I can tan, ride, and spend time with a girlfriend. If that is not multi tasking then I don't know what is!
Well, I need to go hang some laundry. So far this year I have not turned our air conditioner on. I am so trying to hold off on doing that, but with temps reaching 110 it is getting harder and harder.
Oh well that is life.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

busy and sick

As of late I have been very busy. I can't really say what I have been busy doing, but I have been busy. Maybe all the usual stuff is just keeping me busier since I am fighting a damn head and chest cold.
A lot of little things have been happening this week. Rusty's big boss called him in off vacation to help move the warehouse. Sop for the last 3 days he has put in 14 hour days. Rusty is just plum worn out. I am worn out just seeing him. I also feel so bad because I so want to go help him, but Rusty said what he really needs are more strong backs. That is not me.
I am writing an article for another blog and this is usually easy for my, but all of this cold medicine is fogging my head. I really need to get all my pictures together and get everything e mailed off.
I ran into Nikki's other mom the other day. She really wants Nikki to be a team leader on an outreach ministry right here in our own community. Deb, Nikki's other mom want to camp out on the lake and minister to the homeless, and all the other people that come down to the lake. I think it is a great idea! So I got a list of all the supplies that they are going to need, and I am going to start making phone calls. The more stuff we get donated the cheaper it will be on everyone. Add that to my to do list.
The marines just left to go help Rusty. I think I am going to go get some burgers and dogs and give them all a nice cook out for dinner. I am thinking, burger,dogs,cake,homemade ice cream, fruit salad and maybe some corn on the cob. That should feed a hungry group of men.
I have been getting a lot of sewing done and I am still amazed at how much material I have. I have started cutting a quilt for myself. I would love to get the rest of the quilt cut today, but I don't think that is going to happen. This quilt will go on the bottom of the list of quilts to put together. I told Rusty that the time has come for me to bite the bullet and start buying batting for the quilts. I am just amazed at how expensive batting is. I can buy cheap batting, but that is all it is. Oh the joys of my life.
Amber has been picking up odd jobs and she is keeping her head above water. Amber has come to realize that she should not have gone to Oregon or told my mother that she would come visit. You can't make any money if you are not here working and no work means no pay. Reality is finally setting in on her. I guess that is a good thing, but it is hard to watch her struggle. On the other hand, it is a life lesson that she has needed to learn for a long time.
Nikki was looking at all of my containers on the counter. She finally said "Can I have this container?" I asked what she would need it for and when I finally realized what she was making I suggested a coffee can. Nikki was suppose to work the next day so I told her that I would decorate it for her. Me and my big mouth.
This is a plastic coffee can. So it has these handles things molded into it. Oh this is going to be fun. Not. I went to bed and that was when I figured it out. The next morning I got up and started rummaging through the garage. There it was. A milk crate full of can's of spray paint and the can's even said that they would stick to plastic. I grabbed a stake, dropped the coffee can on it, and spray painted away. Nikki printed up a sign and taped it to the front of the coffee can. Boom instant prayer request box.
So that got me to thinking. I was thinking about making up some homemade dishwasher soap and giving it out in some Christmas baskets. I am so going to painted up all of my coffee cans and put the soap in it.
One of the marines has his younger brothers in visiting and they came up last night. I about fell over laughing when they asked for a paper towel to wipe their hands on. I just tossed him a dish towel. I guess not everyone lives like me. I am sure if I left my house more I would know this.
I better get this day started. I have a lot to do and no ambition to do any of it.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Here I am in my element. I love the beach.
Yesterday Amber and I spent the day together and I think Ambers eyes were open to somethings that go on my world.
Yesterday we went to the wounded warrior battalion. I talked with the quilt lady up there and with the Sgt. Major that ran the battalion. The new 200 bed facility will be open next year. All the rooms will have a queen size bed,tv, and a recliner. He said this was going to be the nicest wounded warrior battalion. This facility is going to be the model for other facilities not only here but in Australia and the UK.
I was going to take three of the babies back to the shelter and we asked if we could take the kittens in to show them to the marines. The answer was yes. The marines loved the babies! The babies loved all the attention, and they did not care what was wrong with these men, they just wanted to be loved. We were also told that once the new facility is built some of the residents will be allowed to have pets! I think this is cool.
Amber learned about a double edge sword. While it is good that we have a place for are our wounded warriors, it also sad that we need a place like this for our wounded warriors.
Our next stop was the animal shelter. We carried in the babies and some quilts. It was sad to see the babies go, but it was also rewarding to know that we saved their lives and now they can go on to forever homes.
The director of the shelter took me back to iso room and there was a Dalmatian that was in just horrible condition. You could see every rib, hip and joint on this dog. I just looked at the dog and said "Who did this to you?" Amber said "This is so sad." Yes it is. I am always amazed how some people treat their animals. I just wanted to cry. There is also a German Shepperd in there that is scared of anyone in cammies. I would like to catch the marine that beat this dog and beat the crap out him.
Once we left Amber was just in shock at what she saw. Yep. Some people should never be allowed to have animals. I guess for Amber is was an eye opener as to how some people treat animals. Here in our house we would never do that to an animal. Not every animal is as lucky as ours are.
I know my children think that I am crazy. I know that. They don't understand my passion for animals and for the need to protect them. Weather that is a kitten, a dog or cleaning a beach so other animals don't get hurt. I now think that Amber understands a little bit better.
I also think that Amber understands why I sew for the wounded warriors. These guys are just so thankful. Weather it is a quilt, a gift card to McDonalds, or petting a kitten. They just want people to remember the sacrifice they made for everyone else's freedom.
I am not asking my children to have the same passion for animals, or to sew for marines, but I want them to realize that we are people and animals out there that just want someone to show some love to them. That is not to much to ask.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

eco dirty and pissed warning!

I have just spent a good amount of time trying to post these damn pictures, so if they don't come up please view all images.

I had to go down to base today and run several errands. So I asked Amber if she would like to go to the beach after I was done with everything. So this morning we loaded everything up and headed south.

We got to the beach and we got all set up. That's when I said "lets go walk the beach". We walked maybe a mile or so. We watched marines training and we talked about life, then we turned around. It was then that I told Amber to give me her towel. I made a sack out of it and started picking up trash. I gave Amber the camera and told her to go take pictures of the trash.

Amber did as I asked but she could not believe that she was taking pictures of trash on a beach. I always talk about my beach clean up days and this time I wanted to show everyone some of the stuff that I find.

Amber then asked me when I started picking trash up on beaches. I just smiled and said "You for years I have brought you guys here. We would walk up and down the beach and one day I just got sick of it. I no longer wanted my children swimming in trash. I did not start out to save animals or to be eco friendly. I just wanted you guys to be able to swim on a clean beach."

Among the trash we found was a shirt, girls underwear, a condom wrapper, and lots of beer can's. I will leave that to you imagination as to how they got there. I found a ton of balloons and that bright string that birds like. I also found a string a beads and a city street cover that said water. One of the most useful things I found was a sand bag. O.K. I can actually see a sand bag on a beach on a marine base, but I filled it with more trash.

At the end of our walk we filled a 55 gallon trash bag!

There are also two disturbing things that I found on the beach. One of them was the dead animals. I often see dead birds but today I saw two of them! I have never and I mean never in all my years of going to this beach have I seen a dead seal. So far this year I have seen two!

The other disturbing thing was all the trash that was in a birds nesting area! This area was set aside by the base so that the birds would be safe and here it was filled with trash!

I would love to be the beach police and make sure that everyone leaves with what they came with, but that would only solve half the problem. A lot of the trash comes from boats and cruise ships. They just dump stuff and then it washes up on our beaches.

The really sad thing is, this was not a public beach. This was a beach on a marine base. What ever happened to pride?

So many times I have been tempted to take my pictures and start showing them to everyone until someone stands up and takes notice of the condition of the beach. Rusty told me not to because at the time he was on active duty. So now that he is retired does that mean I can raise hell?

I must really think about this, because everything I do will still reflect on my husband. Until I decide I will keep walking the beach and picking up the trash. People throw you trash away!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

way to go!

The big news at our house is..... drum roll please...... Chris took the test to go into the military and he scored so high that he can do whatever he wants! I was telling rusty last night that he went from homeless to the world is his oyster. Rusty and I are bursting with pride.
Rusty took a week of vacation. To some that I might mean fun with the hubby, and maybe a little bit of that is true, but it also means that he around the house all the time. Yesterday I cleaned the carpets in one of the living rooms. Rusty just stood there shaking his head as he watched me vacuum and then get out the carpet cleaner. What? Has he never seen a person clean the carpets before?
Rusty says that I work to hard. I say no it has to get done. Now don't get me wrong. Rusty knows that I do not sit around and eat bon bons all day, but I sometimes wonder if he really knows what I do.
Amber and Nikki are gearing up for the summer. Nikki is in summer school and she is taking two classes there. Amber is still looking for work and trying to figure out what class she needs to take down at SDSU. Then the triplets arrive on Monday! I can't wait. This house will be full of activity then.
I took the quilt over to the people that will take the quilt down to the missionaries. The lady, Deb, was just so excited. She told me all about the missionaries that will be getting it and she just knows that they will love it! I can't wait to see the pictures of them receiving the quilt.
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for Amber and I. We have to get up early and head down to the base. Our first stop will be the wounded warrior battalion where we will meet up with another quilter and give the battalion more quilts. Then it is off to the animal shelter to return three of the kittens.
side note: we got one more kitten in last week! That makes a total of five babies in the house.
After we drop the kittens off then we have to go pick up a cover for a marine stationed on a navy base. Then it is play time! We are heading to the beach. I cant wait to walk on the sand and catch some rays. I will also walk the beach and clean it up. I think this time I am going to take pictures of everything we find. I am just amazed all the crap people leave behind and what people just dump.
My carpets are calling to me so I better get moving and get them cleaned before it gets to hot. Life is Good.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

catching up

Well I took a break from sewing for the marines and I made this quilt top for some missionaries. I think it turned out great. When I quilt for the marines I just do simple squares but I wanted to show off my handy work, so here it is.
Amber and Jake made it back from Oregon. I was very happy to see them. I must say that Amber did good at trying new things and Amber even said that she had a blast. I am just glad that Amber is getting out of her box and is trying new things.
On Monday I get the great pleasure of paying for Ambers classes. I am actually glad that she has picked them early, so at least this way I can wait a little while to buy the books.
Amber is also looking into taking a classes down at sdsu. Amber wants to get into this summer intern program where she can travel to other countries, but she has to be registered at sdsu, and take a class.
Chris is leaving on Monday to take all of his testing for the military. Rusty has spoken with the recruiter and everything is in order. The only down side is Chris wont be leaving for boot camp until October so that means he will miss Christmas. Then again USMC stands for u suckers missed Christmas.
I went to some yard sales today and I scored most of what I was looking for. I have been needing to get some sheets, so that I can back some of the marines quilts, so this lady sold me a huge bag of sheets for 5 bucks! SCORE.
Rusty is looking for a new job. He is just so sick of dealing with all the crap at work, and I don't blame him, but Rusty is still employed so for that I am ever so thankful. I keep telling Rusty that everything comes out in the wash.
My birthday was amazing. I got to go walk on the beach and see a ton of seals and sea lions. To me that is awesome. I love being close to nature and being able to explore the world around me.
On Wednesday I went to the Hotel Del down on Coronado, and I met up with Tracy...a fellow blogger. It was so nice just to sit on the sea wall and talk. We walked along the beach and watched her girls play in the ocean. We created a memory, and that is what is important.
Well my sewing machine is calling me, so I better get going. I have the creative bug and the drive to sew, so who knows how long this will last!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

green to save green

My life has been crazy for almost a week now. I am just shocked at busy I have been, but I know that I can sleep when I am dead.

If you read the last entry will you see that we had a graduation party. This really was not in our budget this year, but we did it. I also made it as green as possible, and by going green I saved a lot of green.

Here is a list of some of the ways I greened up a graduation party.

1. All of the decorations were used. I found someone giving them away and I jump on the chance to reuse them.

2. All of the flowers were cut from my own yard and the vase was one that we had around the house.

3. We used real dishes and cups. We did run out of cups and have to use a few plastic ones. Thank goodness there was a beer pong game last weekend! I then washed out the plastic cups and we will reuse them.

4. I used cloth napkins. A few people thought that was crazy, but why not? What else are you suppose to do with cloth napkin?

Today I took the kids and we went down to the hotel del Coronado. It was there that I met up with another blogger and her girls! It was so much fun. We walked around and some doctor Seuss displays. Then we went down to the beach. My favorite thing to do.

Just because I was meeting up some "new" people it did not give me the right to take a break from being green. I save all of our old bread, so today I grabbed it and we let the children feed the birds.

This may sound like a small thing, but it is a big thing. I try very hard to not waste anything, and that includes the last slice of bread. I also brought the bag homes to be reused.

While we one the beach I took the time to pick up trash. I am always amazed at how much trash washes up on our beaches. Even if I was with friend and having a good time, I still found the time to clean up the beach.

After we were done at the beach we headed to the shelter to pick up another foster baby. I also dropped off some baby blankets that I bought at a yard sale. The cat's and dogs will love them.

This week I also got my moms Christmas gift in the mail. I had it mailed to me that is. I can never really find anything to get my mom since she does not need anything and she will never tell me what she wants. So this year I went to the wildlife foundation and adopted a bear in memory of my dad. My dad always called himself poppa bear, so I thought this would be perfect. Everything even came in a reusable bag! I think she will like this.

Often times by going green you can also save a lot of green. I love saving green.

Reduce footprints has posted another challenge for us to try this week. Please stop by her journal and accept her challenge.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

thank you everyone!

I would like to say thank you to everyone sent sent Chris a card. This was so awesome and he was so shocked that people would take the time to do that for him.

For Rusty and I we are just shocked by the whole situation. I never in a million years would have guessed that we could have taken in another child and provide for them. We are on a budget that does not move very much, but we did it.

All of the decorations and balloons came from someone I found on line who was giving away this stuff. I cut all the flowers, so no money was spent there. I made Chris his cake, so that saved some money and we had more then enough food for everyone. Some how some way we pulled it off.

I took one of the graduation pictures and had it blown up to poster size. After Chris got done with gifts and cards Rusty and I announced that we had one more gift for him. We handed him the picture and told him to go hang it on the wall nest to all the other kids pictures. Chris cried. He now knows that this is his home.

Rusty and I are so proud of him. He could have turned to drugs, dropped out of school or done any number of things. Instead he finished high school and is now on the right path. We are so proud of him.

Chris said "It is sad that the people I use to call my parents did not even call me, but you guys did everything for me." blood is not thinker then water. I know that very well.

I am plum worn out. I so forgot that I told Rusty I would go help him work on Monday and Tuesday. Then Tuesday is my birthday. I forgot about that as well. Wednesday we are heading down to Coronado island. I have a busy week, but I know that it will be a good week.

Life is good.

Friday, June 12, 2009

a lot to get done

I really have a lot that I need to get done today. However I am still pouring coffee into body, so it will take me a while to get up and get moving.
I am very happy with the way the quilt turned out. There were times that I thought I would never finish it, but the top is done! I had enough left over that I made a small one for a dear friend. She can use it on her coffee table, or dresser. I just hope she likes it.
Tomorrow is the graduation party! There is a lot that needs to get done, but I know that it will all come together. I just hope that Chris is shock when he finds out about the party.
Yesterday Chris had to deal with his sister and mother. They now want to go to his graduation. Why? I know people change, but she could not have changed that much otherwise he would not still be living here. I don't think I will ever understand that women, and that is fine. I think trying to figure her out would hurt my brain.
One of the things on my to do list is to finish clearing off my sewing table.a.k.a. the dinning room table. I would ask one of the kids to help me, but I hate it when people touch my sewing stuff. Something always gets lost, so I don't like people touching my sewing stuff.
Yesterday it hit me. Once the triplets get here I will have 7 children living here. I must be crazy, but it will fun. I am not sure how long the triplets will be here, but I am guessing at least a month because they don't have a house yet. I can't wait to spoil those guy's and hug them. They have been gone three years, so that is three years of hugging I need to make up for.
Everyone is starting to stir, so I need to tell them to eat, and then get them started on helping me get some stuff done around here. I hope I catch the cleaning bug, because I have a lot to get done today.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


1. Stand on your feet all day long cutting squares. Then when you cant take it any more cut the squares in half to make a ton of triangles.

2. Clear a spot on the floor and lay all the pieces out so you can see the pattern.

3, Repeat step two because all the foster babies just ran through everything.

4.Sit at the sewing machine for two day trying to sew everything together.

Oh! don't forget that you need to break a blade and have to go to wal mart to get a new one. Then you forgot to pick up trim, so you have to go back!

It was all worth it! This quilt will be going to the missionaries down in Nicaragua! Once in a while I love to show off my handi work!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

eco friendly

Spunk, color and a conscious! There are so many reasons to love our mismatched socks. For one, we are incredibly proud to be an American-made product: our yarns are dyed, spun and knit at small, family-owned businesses here in the US. Also, from the very start, our cotton socks have always been knit using recycled cotton yarns. These yarns are recovered from the production of other cotton products (mainly t-shirts), and re-blended with other fibers and spun into yarns for Solmate Socks.Not only fun to wear, but American made and environmentally friendly! There's just so many reasons to smile every time you put on your mismatched socks from Vermont's Socklady. http://www.socklady.com/index.php

My mother in law got me a pair of these socks years ago and I loved them! Since I finally wore them out I decided to look into getting more of these socks, and I was very happy to see that they are made from recycled cotton! If you have small children their socks are sold three to a pair. You know a mom is selling them. LOL

I have a lot of cats. With cats come cat litter, and cat litter is clay based. So I got out of my box and I tried a new eco friendly cat litter. My concern was that the litter would smell or it would not clump as well. Boy, was I wrong. I bought the cat litter that is made from corn cobs and it works amazing well. There is no odor, it clumps really well, and there is no cloud of smoke when I pour it into the box. It did cost about $1 more then the stuff I usually buy, but it was so worth it!
I am a huge coffee and tea drinker. Yes, I am guilty of sucking down a pot of coffee before I even get moving in the morning. One day I was in one of our local gas stations and I found a little sign that said "Our coffee is fair trade and organic". What a gas station that cares. Yep. So when I am on the road I make it a point to stop there and get my coffee. I also take in my own cup and they give me a ten cent credit. www/vanhoutte.com
One choice at a time I am saving the planet!
Here is a list of some other simple things I have done to help our planet.
1. I got all of the graduation decorations used. Since all of the stuff was plastic, I am happy to reuse the stuff. I will post them up for reuse once I am done with them.
2. I saved wood from going into a landfill. It will now be reused as wood for our bonfire.
3. I almost bought some of that curling ribbon to hold all of the graduation bags together. Instead I am using some yard that I have on hand. Yarn will break down quicker then curling ribbon, and it saved me some money.
There it is. Not a long list, but I have taken some even bigger step to reducing my footprint.
Please tell me what you guys are doing?
Stop by this great eco blog and see what she is up to! This gal is going to challenge us to really step it up a notch.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

this is the good stuff!

Look at big the babies are getting. The two orange one's are just a little bit bigger then this. These kittens slept there all day.... it made it very hard to cut material, but I got it done.

Yesterday was just filled some unexpected surprises. I got online and I was checking my e mail when I saw someone from freecycle giving away graduation decorations and some serving dishes. I e mailed the lady and she said that I could have them. She even gave us a ton of balloons!

This was a moment when I knew what were doing was the right thing. I have learned that when you do the right thing everything else falls into place. The other day Rusty and I decided to give Chris a graduation party. Nothing fancy, just us and the marines, burgers and dogs on the grill. I figured I would either make him a cake or go buy one. We really had not planned for a graduation party, so I was trying to keep it on the cheap. Then the extra decorations showed up. I have decided to make Chris a cake and put the money we save from that toward a new pair of jeans for him.

Nikki invited all of his friends from youth group, but none of them can be bothered. There is one family from the church coming over, and that is just perfect to me. See the family that is coming is the same family that always brings us food when we need. UMM Like when I was sick or when I went back to Chicago to lay my sister to rest. They are always right there to lend a helping hand. The funny thing about this family, is that they don't have a pot to piss in, but they will give you the shirt off their back if you ask them for it. Those are my kind of people.

Then I also found someone on freecycle that was looking for a stroller. Guess what I had sitting in my garage? I gave them the stroller and this little toy box thing that I had. I love seeing people get what they need, and getting it for free.

My girlfriend out in Iowa called me yesterday, and she and the triplets are moving back here! They will be stationed about two hours away, but that is still a lot closer then Iowa. I can't wait to have them here. Sometimes I hate having friends that are in the service because they always move away. Well now they are coming back and I can't wait.

Yesterday while I was running an errand I noticed that someone was throwing away a ton of long 2x4. When I got back home I asked Chris and Nikki to please take Rusty's truck and go get them. We now have wood to make a bonfire with. When the triplets were younger we use to make a bonfire so they could roast marshmallows. I was so thrilled to find that wood. Plus we will be able to reuse it instead of it going into the landfill.

Yesterday I got the cleaning bug. I scrubbed down one of the bathrooms very well. I even washed the doors and the top of the door jams! I hope I don't catch that bug again today. I really want to get some sewing done.

I have been trying my best to not get dressed, and for the most part it has been working. I love living in my pj's. If this weather would ever warm up I might get a chance to wear my swim suit again. Oh well for now it is off to the shower and then off to the store to pick up some stuff for dinner.

Life is good.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

I get it now

Call me slow or blind but I get it now.

For years I have said "I will never be mother Theresa. I never win the noble peace prize." That was my goal for a long time. I wanted to do something that people would remember for. I wanted to be something great. I did not want to be the mom of my children. I did not want to be Rusty's wife. I did not want to be the crazy cat lady. I wanted to be something great.

I am something great. How did I discover this? Well, someone I don't know, her name is Mary, read my blog and learned that I wanted a book of mother Theresa's saying. Guess what I found this morning? Thank you Mary, for opening my eyes.

I am a hero to Amber. I am a hero because she should not be here. She was born by crash c section. She should be dead, but she is not. She is here. I love her and she is one of my best friends. I am her hero because she watches me and she sees all the things I do.

I am a hero to Nikki. If I not opened our home up to missionaries she never would have gotten the desire to go and serve. I am her hero because I stand behind her and support her, even if I don't understand her.

I am a hero to Ryan. Everyone told me that he would never walk, ride a bike or do anything. Now look at him. Who knew that a mentally retarded, autistic child would go so far? Who knew? I am a hero to him, because when the rest of the world was saying he won't do something it made me angry. I am his biggest advocate. I will fight for him when everyone else says I shouldn't.

I am a hero to Chris. We took him in. Gave food, clothing and shelter. We gave him the basics when his own "Family" would not. I never realized that doing right by him, would make me a hero.

I am a hero to Rusty. I have stood by him through countless deployments, heart attacks, and I have stayed when the Marine Corps has thrown everything else at us.

I am a hero to all the animals I have rescued. If it was not for me there would be animals that would have not made it.

I am hero to the shelter that I volunteer at. If it were not for me they would not have made quilts to give out whenever someone adopts a pet from them.

I am a hero to all the marines that walk through my door. I feed them, do their laundry, listen to their fears, love them, cry when they leave and cry when they come home. I have even seen the marines fight over their quilts.

I may never win the Noble Peace prize, and that is o.k. I have touched many lives and all the lives I have touched will go on to be someone elses hero. There are unsung hero's all over this world. We may not all be famous, but we all make a difference. I know that if all of banned together, all of our little deeds would add up and we could and we will change the world.

"There are many people who can do big things, but there are very few people who are will do the small things." Mother Theresa.

Friday, June 5, 2009

a day of chance meeting

When I got up today I had only one thing on mind. I had to go to the funeral of a dear friend. Today I was going to lay to rest one of Americas hero's..... and a man I was proud to call my friend.
I went to my closet to try to find something to wear to his funeral. The suit I wore to my sisters funeral is gone. I left that back there, so I had to search. I finally found an outfit, so I jumped in the shower.
I got dressed, got Rusty's pants pressed, ate some breakfast and watched a baby bob cat in our front yard.I went back into our bathroom to finish putting on my face. Today was one of the few day's that I will wear make up. Amber followed me in there, and she ended up straightening my hair for me. I Must say that it looked really nice.
Then it was off to the cemetery. I have been to this cemetery many times. My in laws are berried there. Countless friends are there, and it was where I did the roll call. I know this cemetery very well... or so I thought.
We get to the cemetery a little early, so Rusty says "I want to go see the medal of honor wall." What? We have one of those? So we went to look at it.
As we are walking up to the wall I stop on the marine corp emblem. I have seen it a million times. It is the same eagle globe and anchor. Nothing has changed on it. As I looked up my life did change, because it was then that I noticed someone taking a picture of me.
I was no to concerned about this lady. Then the lady turned and took a picture of Rusty. As this lady walked around and took pictures I walked with Rusty. We just looked all the names on the wall. The wall was not a creepy and the Vietnam wall, but still a little creepy. I decided to walk out to the front and there was the lady again.
I walked up to her and asked her this was her first time at the cemetery. Yes, indeed it was her first time there. She had been hired to take pictures of the cemetery because someone is putting together a book on the cemetery. I thought that was cool. The lady tells me that the book will be out in December.
I go back to where Rusty is and he starts pointing out names on the wall. The lady walks up to Rusty and I and asked if we would be willing to sign a release so that our pictures could be put in the book. we both signed the release and we went our separate ways.
Rusty and I drove over to the staging area where we met up with a lot of other people that we knew. Then it was time for all of us to go to another area of the cemetery. We get out of the truck and I just reach up and grab Rusty's hand. I had to hold Rusty's hand, because that is what little girls do. They always hold the hand of the man who loves them. As a child I would hold my dad's hand. If I held my dad's hand then no hard could come to me. Now that I am married I hold Rusty's hand, so that no harm will come to me.
A motor cycle group called the rough riders were there. The came up with the flags flying. That is such an awesome sight to see.
As we walked up to the sidewalk we did not speak. I was looking down at the ground, and that was when Rusty pulled my hand back. I knew to stop walking. I looked up and there in front of me was the Hurst. They swung the door open and there was the flag draped coffin.
I just stood there and watched them move the casket up to the pavilion. Once we started to walk again I noticed a bagpipe player, the drum and bugler people were there, and the lady with the camera.
Rusty and I stood in the back. I stood there watching everything going on around me. The the 21 gun salute went off. I hate that sound. I was fine until the guy on the bagpipes started playing Amazing Grace. That was when the tears started to flow. Rusty just put his arms around me and when I looked down I noticed his tears in my hair.
As the service was ending the lady with the camera noticed Rusty and I. She snapped a picture of me and then just grabbed my arm. She then leaned over and said "I had no idea you were here for this funeral." I just smiled. How could she have known. I was just hoping that she got some good pictures for her book and for the family.
When we got back to the post I went and changed clothes and then went to have a smoke. I sat outside for a while when a biker gentlemen came and sat down. I just kept looking at him, because I could not place his face. He seemed like a nice guy, but where did I know him from?
We all went inside so the food could be blessed. The guy grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of him. I am glad that I am small because that place was packed! So I got to talking to the guy and he is indeed part of the rough riders, and was working when I went and did roll call! I told him that I was the lady in the Muslim head dress. We now know where we knew each other from.
After talking to this gentlemen for a while I learned that next year they want to do a roll call at our local cemetery. I told him to put my name down and that I would be willing to read at both cemeteries.
Who knew that my day would take me on so many chance encounters. Today was one of those days that I was glad I left the house and met new people. I will never forget this day. Yes we laid a dear friend to rest, but I met up with some totally awesome people who have forever changed my life.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

where does it all come from?

The last few day's I have been really cleaning and cleaning out. I have no idea what has gotten into me, but it makes me wonder. How does my house get so dirty when I am always cleaning. How do we accumulate so much crap, when we never even buy crap? Those are my questions for the universe, but until they are answered I must keep cleaning and cleaning out.

Yesterday I made some little boys day. I had posted an ad on craigslist to get rid of all of Ryans old toys. Toy's which he has never played with and are in perfect condition. I was so happy to someone getting joy out of our "old" stuff. Not to mention I would hate to see it all go into the trash. I just hate throwing out stuff that other people can use.

Today I am going to get to list some more stuff to get rid of. I have a stroller that is in awesome condition. I have no babies here, but we had picked it up once when Nikki was babysitting for a family that had small children. Today it is going to a new home!

Chris is doing so good, and I must say that I am very proud of him. Next week Chris will graduate for high school. To some that might not sound like a big deal, but to me it is. To me it means that he has beaten the odds. For a kid that is homeless, he is moving on with his life and not allowing his past to keep him down. That is something to be proud of!

Amber is going to go to Oregon for a few weeks. She will be heading up there with Jake and I just know that she will have a blast. Jakes mom Jolyn, will be happy to have Amber that. I know that this will be good for Amber. We are not from small town America, so it will be good for her to experience that way of life. This is another opportunity for her to learn and grow.

I spoke to my mom several day's ago. I must be getting a thick skin because she did not suck the life out of me. She did piss me off. Wait am I pissed off or hurt? I am not sure, but what I do know is that the girls are not playing my mom's games any more.

Several months ago my mom asked if the kids could come out for a few weeks. She even offered to pay half of the airfare. I just said well you better hope that they both can afford the other half. I will pay for Ryan, but the girls are on their own. Then the other night she offered to pay for all the children to go out there. I told my mom that I don't have an issue with that, but they have to prove to me that their bill are payed first.

Then it came out. Yep the other shoe dropped. My mom is taking golden chosen child to Alaska for 2 or 3 weeks. The consolation prize is that my children get to go back to Joliet. Neither of the girls sound to happy about all of this. Amber did say that if she does go back there she is just going to hook up with some friends and go clubbing in Chicago.

Neither of the girls have really looked at a calender and figured out how to pay the phone bill up for a month. So we will see if they are going. I guess they are finally old enough to see everything that is going on.

Amber had an awesome birthday. She LOVED the sea turtle earring that we got her. It is so cool to see her get excited over a pair of earrings.

I better get busy and get my house cleaned up. Today is Ryans last day of school, so soon I will get the great privilege of listening to him be "bored". LOL

Monday, June 1, 2009

It's ambers birthday!

Well today is Amber's19 birthday! My dad called Amber the turtle, so she has grown up really liking them. This year for her birthday I bought her a pair of silver sea turtles ear rings. I sure hope that she likes them.
Life has just been going along here. Nothing to major is happening right now. That is a good thing. I like it when there is not much going on.
I finished another quilt top and I have one more almost done. I am really shocked at how much material I do have. I have also made a few lap size Christmas quilts. I have had the material cut for a few years, but I usually run out of time, so I am starting early this year.
I am not sure what got into the dogs today, but they got to fighting and they drew blood on each other. They will both survive, but they have never done that before, so I am really surprised by the whole thing.
I spent the weekend just chilling out and not doing much. Sunday I sat in bed and just cut up plastic bags to make plarn. My girlfriend is actually using the plarn, but she hates cutting up the bags. I don't mind doing it.
Tonight I am making a shepherds pie for dinner. I am not sure why everyone likes this dish, but they do, and Amber requested it, so that is what I am making. I must admit that I have not made one in a long time. I was just in shock when I saw the price of beef! What the heck is that about?
The kittens are doing good, They are all weened and potty trained. This Saturday they are going in for their first set of shots. The shelter is close to the ocean, so I may hit the beach as well.
Tonight we have a friend coming over to look at my car. It is still running hot. We have tried everything, so we are going to have an outside person look at it. I think we should just shoot it!
My Cajun boys are coming home tonight, so I better go get a nap in before I have to go to the air port. It will be so nice to see them.

About Me

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lake elsinore, ca
I am a stay at home mom. I am also married to a veteran and he is the love of my life. I keep it real here and I hold nothing back. My life is a roller coaster ride, so strap on your seatbelt.... here we go!