Monday, June 29, 2009

sitting and watching

As I sit here and watch my children's lives unfold I have to wonder why they don't listen to me.
Several months ago Nikki was told about an opportunity to go to Africa for year. This has been one of Nikki's goal's for a very long time, but she turned the offer down. I said nothing because I knew why she turned it down.
Now Nikki is starting to rethink all of her life. The other day Nikki said that she wants to break up with Chris because she can sees that they are going in different directions. My mind was racing. Did I not say that two years ago? I saw it all back then and Rusty and I tried to warn Nikki about this and yet she would not listen.
I finally said "I told you so". That was when Nikki said "Yes but if I would have listened then you guys would have won at breaking Chris and I up."
I kept my mouth shut and chose my words very carefully. I finally said "You this was not about Chris. Chris is a good kid. This is about you putting your dreams and goals on hold for someone who is moving in a different direction then you. This is about you finding someone who shares your passion. You just gave someone two years of your life, and you can never have them back."
Nikki no sees what Rusty and I have been saying. Nikki is now thinking about that Africa trip after she graduates high school. I am glad.
I also sat down and talk to Chris. I told him that the two of them are moving in different direction, and that there is nothing wrong with that. It is called life. Chris does understand, but he is hurt. I think a lot of his hurt comes from being rejected by his family. I think he is trying very hard to find someone to hold onto, and that is fine, but I just hope that he discovers that he needs to be is own number one priority right now.
I told Chris that he is always welcome here, even if him and Nikki break up. Rusty and I gave him our word, and we will keep our word.
Amber. Oh that child. I found out last night that she turned down a babysitting job, so that she could be here when the triplets arrived. I did not chew here out. I just looked at her and said "Let me get this straight. You turned down money so you could see the triplets. They will be for almost a month, and you have not paid your phone bill yet."
Amber tried to come back with, "Well you know Nikki and Chris would not watch the kids while you guys are gone."
I fired back with "They would if you were not here." Amber just walked away.
I guess Amber will learn. I don't know.
I have taken a very backseat in the girls lives. I offer my advice once and if they don't listen then I let them fall. At least I am letting them fall in the safety of our home and not on the streets somewhere.
The triplets will be here before to much longer! I can't wait to hug them. Then their mom and I have to unpack the u haul and head up to 29 palms, so she can check into housing. My girlfriend has a hard top jeep, so I am so wanting to take the top off. I can tan, ride, and spend time with a girlfriend. If that is not multi tasking then I don't know what is!
Well, I need to go hang some laundry. So far this year I have not turned our air conditioner on. I am so trying to hold off on doing that, but with temps reaching 110 it is getting harder and harder.
Oh well that is life.


a corgi said...

(((Kelli))) don't you love when they grow up and they don't listen?? they will eventually get it, but until then its like talking to a wall

let me know if you need help unpacking the U-Haul; I'll send dear son to help


LIZ said...

I have learned with my oldest daughter who is now 21 to let her live her own life. I am there for her when she asks for advice but I try not to pry to much into her personal affairs. I respect her as an adult and let her make her own choices. Whether I agree with all of them or not is a different story. But there does come a time when we cant control their decisions any more. We have to let them make their own mistakes.

Melissa said...

sometimes the best way for somebody to learn is to make mistakes. It would be nice is people would just listen to good advice but it rarely works that way,lol.

Traci said...

I think that the whole give them advice and then let them fall is excellent. They all have to make their own mistakes. It's sad to think that Nikki put her dreams on hold because of a boy but I think we have all done that at one point in our lives. Now she can get in there and live! Chris will be ok, it is hard though.

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I am a stay at home mom. I am also married to a veteran and he is the love of my life. I keep it real here and I hold nothing back. My life is a roller coaster ride, so strap on your seatbelt.... here we go!