Friday, August 14, 2009

I am so ....

I am not sure what I am. Maybe I am a fool. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am hopeful. Maybe I am just a mom that is at the end of her rope.

I made the mistake of asking Ryan what he was "learning" in school. Ryan said that he was learning fractions. What? So I ask Ryan some basic math questions and he could not answer them, so how is he learning fractions? I asked if he had been given a calculator yet. The answer is the same as it has always been.... NO.

Why can't this teacher follow an IEP? I have called, bitched, complained to the principal, said nothing, and bitched some more. Nothing works. Now what? Do I file a formal complaint against the teacher? I am going to do that on Monday. I know it won't do any good.

I just don't have any fight left in me. After I file the complaint I am going let the chips fall where they may. I have been told for years that the teachers are the professionals and they know better then me. I guess I should let them do whatever they want. After all I am not the one with a big fancy degree. All I know is you can't add fractions if you can't add whole numbers.

I dread Ryan coming from school because I know that it is time for me to deal with whatever. Homework, teachers, you name it. I don't want to deal with any of it any more. I want to send all of his homework back wrong. After all they are professionals not me.

Am I the only mom of a handi cap child that just wants it all to go away and resents the child for reasons that he can't control? Am I a bad parent because I no longer feel like being a parent to a handi cap child. Is it wrong for me to want to just walk away?

I am just done. I am done fighting.


Martha said...

No, you aren't done fighting, you are just fed up with the system and you are tired. You will keep fighting because you are Ryan's advocate and if you don't fight for him nobody else will. So now that you've got it off your chest put on those boxing gloves and get ready for the next round. Hang in there! *Hugs*

moshell's lilbit of space said...

I often say that I am "DONE", but in the reality of it all.....WE (moms) are NEVER done.

You have go stand up for Ryan and stir up some shit.

It is the responsibility of the teacher to make sure Ryan is getting his education....but that has to be reinforced by you.

probably not what you wanted to hear, but I feel ya sister...I do...been doing it for mine FOREVER as well. Especially when David's 5th grade teacher told me he was unteachable.....Excuse me bitch....if you didn't have a baby in your belly, I would beat the hell out of you in this very hallway. then I went and reported her dumb ass.

Paula said...

Oh Kelli I feel for you but I do think it is better in school then it was back when my brother-in-law was there. They just passed them from grade to grade because they didn't know what to do with them. It is just sad all around for kids with handicaps. I know you will keep fighting after this bump in the road.

a corgi said...

(((Kelli))) I'm so sorry! but I know you will pick yourself up and do what you need to in order to help Ryan succeed to the best of his ability


Amanda said...

(((((((((((((((HUGSTOYU)))))))))))))))))Its not eay getting all of the Blogs like it was on J-land.I am sorry you are having a hard time with Ryans school.But,I know your not going to give up.I know you are doing the right thing for Ryan.

It's Just Katie! said...

I'm hoping all your hard work will make a difference. Never give up ~ Not always true that a teacher knows best. Take care and enjoy your Today!

Missie said...

My son has a "504" which is like an IEP. I understand how you feel right now. Sometimes, I wonder if it would be better if he could quit school!

louise said...

I know by tomorrow your fight will be back! Thinking if you xx

Melissa said...

Im sorry you are going thru a hard time. I know how much the school system sucks. They werent teaching kids anything when I was in school and its only gotten worse, I can imagine that kids with special needs dont get the type of attention they need. Working at a school I know how these teachers act when I see them in the cafeteria with the kids, I cant imagine what goes on in the closed confines of their on classrooms. Its just sickening to watch and complaining about it doesnt seem to do any good. Its ok to be frustrated and we all feel like giving up sometimes. I know your a fighter tho and you'd never give up. Journals are so great for venting tho huh. I wish I could get back into mine like I used too. Stay strong! *hugs*

Queenneenee said...

I can totally relate Kelly. My son goes back to school in less than 2 weeks and I am DREADING it! OMG. School is stressful for anyone, nevermind if you have special needs. Never mind if you are the Mom of the child like we are. It is a constant battle here too. But it is a battle worth fighting. Like someone said earlier, we are the only advocate for our kids. I cannot wait until he graduates!!!! And he WILL, and I will be behind him all the way. You will be there for Ryan as well. It will be ok, keep fighting!!!!

About Me

My photo
lake elsinore, ca
I am a stay at home mom. I am also married to a veteran and he is the love of my life. I keep it real here and I hold nothing back. My life is a roller coaster ride, so strap on your seatbelt.... here we go!