My father use to use that quote all the time. "there was a fork in the road and I chose the one less traveled."
Some of the events that are unfolding in my life are because of the choices I have made, and some are not.
Right now I feel like I am being forced to take the road less traveled. I am trying to get all the children set for school, and let me tell you Amber and Nikki are going to break my bank.
I can't believe how expensive college is, and Amber is only going to a junior college. Now I chose to make Amber go to college. I chose to make her take a minimum of two classes a semester. In exchange I would let her live her for free. I never chose to be caught in the middle. According to the state we make to much money to qualify for any grants. Since when is poverty to much? So I am shouldering the burden. Notice I said I. I have been saving money like a mad women. I have a separate bank account where I place all the extra money that I make. This is what is paying for college.
My mom offered to help pay for Ambers books. I have chosen to not allow her to pay for shit. The last thing I need is blood money. Yes, that is my choice.
I have been looking around for a very part time job, just something a few hours a day, and no weekends. I have checked with the school district, the water company..... no luck. I can't go back to work full time because of Ryan. Every time I do get a full time job I get fired because I have to leave because Ryan is sick, or because no one is around to watch him. Not working is kinds being forced on me, but I need to do something.
I chose to let Nikki make some very hard decisions in her life. I am now paying the price for that. Now that she back in a regular school, I am paying for yearbooks and asb cards and....... I am about sucked dry.
It was my choice to not go and get a new court order, and have my ex pay for half of Amber and Nikki's stuff. I figure that we should just let sleeping dogs lie. That is my choice and now I am starting to question it. Not that he would ever pay it, but at least with the court order it would be tacked onto his bill.
Rusty and I chose to do everything on our own. We did this because we wanted our children to know who really loved them and supported them. It was Rusty and I, not their sperm donor.
I am done being down. I just one of Ambers books for free! That is a huge savings. I am actually getting some sewing done on my own quilt. I have plenty of food. I have money in savings to pay for all of this. I have a husband who loves me and who bust his ass everyday just so I can be a stay at home mom. My children are not pregnant or on drugs.
Life is good