Tuesday, February 17, 2009

please tell me ....

So yesterday was a very busy day for me. I had to make an unexpected trip base...in the rain. By the time I got home all I wanted to do was go to bed!

Oh no that would be to easy. Amber walks up to me and informs me that Nikki just got off the phone with my mother and that my mother is giving Nikki my sister car.

I grabbed my head. It was already hurting from the sinus pressure and now you are telling me that my mother just gave Nikki car? Amber just looked at me and said "I am so done. I will never speak to her again."

I called my brother in law and asked what the heck was going on. My brother in law informs me that my mother has come into his home and has taken everything but the sofa and his clothes. I knew it! I told everyone that she would do it.

So last night I was outside smoking when Rusty and Ambers boyfriend walk out. I lost it on Rusty. I just stood there screaming. We have three children, is she going to give all of them a car? How dare she pick and choose between our children! Bless Rusty's soul he said "Maybe she thinks Amber is getting the blue car." That sent me off again. By this point I had a finger in the air while I was screaming "That car is registered to me and no one else! I have never said that Amber was getting that car!"

I went to bed pissed off. I know exactly what my mother is doing. She did it to my sister and I. My mother picks and chooses who she wants to do stuff for and then will pit everyone against each other. I can so see it. Am I the only one that see's what is going on?

I have decided to not mention this to my mother. The damage is done and I am no longer going to do damage control for her. Amber realizes what is going on. My mother is digging herself into a hole that she can't get out of. I will be damned if I am going to throw her a life line.

We have a year and half until Nikki turns 18, so we will see if my mom keeps her word. If she does not keep her word then Nikki will have learned a lesson. I am just sick of cleaning up after my mother. I am sick of my children being hurt by her. I am going to let my silence speak volumes on this issue.

Onto a better subject. Yesterday I got the shock of my life when someone stepped up and offered to pay for Chris to go to camp! That's right Chris gets to go to camp for the first time in his life. He was so speechless when we told him the news!

Today is going to be another busy day for me. I have to take Nikki and Chris to school and then I have to go turn some papers to public aid. Then I have to go tot he animal shelter. Nikkis cat got out and now he is missing. o I am going to go see if he got picked up.

Life is good.


Melissa said...

ur right, its not good to choose between siblings..the camp thing is great tho

Gerry said...

Yes, I do know about a mother who talks about you to other sisters. She did not teach her daughters not to be negative about family relationships and some of them are still struggling with those built in teachings. It's hard to rise above all that and teach a better example, but I think your awareness and determination will help you not to repeat a parent's pattern, and that is an achievement.

Chrissie said...

Honey I seeing the picking everyday and I won't get started on the subject because my children and my best friend's children go through it daily with their grandparents. Which is one reason some of my children can't stand them. They seem to forget when they get older who will have control over their care. I don't think I want someone that hates me in charge of making my arrangements.
So glad that Chris gets to go that is awesome.
Hope you find the cat.
Take care, Chrissie

Paula said...

I don't know why a grandmother will pick one over the others to do stuff for but I bet you will handle it. Hope you find the kitty cat.

Lori said...

I'm sorry to hear your mother is up to those tricks. I feel really sorry for your BIL, too. Hang in there!

Queenneenee said...

aaah, the family drama. Don't you just love it? You my friend have made a good choice (im my opinion anyway) to be silent. I wouldn't get into it with Mom either. Best of luck to u!

a corgi said...

that is sad, Kelly, about the car. (Okay, I'm sitting here thinking does she spell Kelly with an "i" or "y" at the end??? brain freeze so early in the morning, not a good sign!; I apologize if I spelled it wrong)

Its sad because you want your kids to have a good relationship with their grandparents but if the grandparents aren't willing to play "fair" so to speak, its hard for them to have that relationship

I think you are wise to stay out of it and see how it plays out

supposed to warm up over the next few days so that should be good, right???

take care of yourself.....


Traci said...

What is so hard about loving people equally? I would be done with your mom's behavior too. Poor Amber. Poor Brother in law. Poor you. To have to go through that.

Indigo said...

When it came to my ex's side of the family I learned with my daughter not to say anything. True to form she grew up to learn what they were all about on her own. I would think common courtesy would be your mother talking it over with you before just handing out a car. After all they are your daughters first and foremost. Hope your able to find the cat hon. (Hugs)Indigo

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