Thursday, July 2, 2009

My husband

Yesterday my girlfriend, Sonja and I were on the porch swing. Just sitting and rocking.

I broke the silence and said "you know I love Rusty?"

Sonja said "I know you do."

me. "good. Keep that in mind because last night I wanted to kill him. I was so not feeling good last night, so I took some meds and laid down. I was just about to fall asleep when Rusty announces that his blanket smells like cat shit. I get up and look at his blanket. I grabbed it and threw it the laundry pile and went and got him another blanket. Then I got back in bed and he announces that the sheets smell like cat shit. I get my dizzy ass out of bed again and told him to go smoke something. I stripped the bed. I even changed his pillow cases. I go back to bed. Then he wakes me up because he is now sleeping at the foot of the bed. Once again I get out of bed, this time I go and get a fan. That was when Rusty announced that he still smells cat shit. Rusty then used my legs as a pillow. I swear to you I wanted to kill him."

Sonja just sat there. I go on. "So today I washed everything in the bedroom and I went and bought him new pillows. I even bought bamboo pillows, but don't tell him because he wants nothing to do with my eco friendly ways. Let me say for the record there was no cat shit in that room, and if he does not sleep tonight then he will the first person to die from Bamboo."

Sonja said "You know I just fabreeze everything down. Then I put baby powder down, and then I spray the sheet and pillows with this stuff I got from bath and body works. We could make your room smell like a girls room."

We went back to swinging.

9 comments:

Inge' said...

Did he bother to check his shoes? Could have been something on the bottoms of them.

I like the whole "smell like a girl's room" thing. At least then he won't smell cat shit!

Sage Ravenwood said...

(chuckling), I agree with Inge' sounds like Rusty stepped in it(winks). (Hugs)Indigo

Missie said...

LOL! How comfy are bamboo pillows? I saw them advertised in a store around here and never knew there was such a thing.

Melissa said...

dang, thats annoying

MammawsDecorativeArt said...

My grandmother woulda said that it mighta been his upper lip or his breath. haha
Probably stepped in it though.
WHy is it the ones we love come so close to having us kill them?
I like the fru fru smell of clean room too.
I am going to buy pillows this weekend. I have banged mine into a hard knot and my neck is causing my headaches.

Joann said...

You're a GOOD WIFE!!! I would have told him to go sleep on the sofa!! LOL!!

Paula said...

Its always handy to have a girlfriend to talk to at times like that. May have kept you from killing him. lol

Martha said...

Glad you didn't kill him, LOL! Happy 4th! :-)

Traci said...

He he he! I like that idea! I don't think he'll have much to say after that!

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lake elsinore, ca
I am a stay at home mom. I am also married to a veteran and he is the love of my life. I keep it real here and I hold nothing back. My life is a roller coaster ride, so strap on your seatbelt.... here we go!