Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A mind of her own

For most of my parenting years I have been very liberal, very open minded, and very closed mouth on some subjects.

I have been criticized for not making my children go to school, not giving them a curfew, letting boyfriends spend the night, and the list is endless. I have very different views on parenting then what people consider right and acceptable.

I talk with my children about everything. I don't know why I just do. So yesterday when Amber posted an abortion video on face book it took me a while to process.

Abortion is not something that Amber and I really talked about. I do know that Nikki is against it, but I never really knew where Amber stood on the subject. I now know. To me it is more then just her reaction to the video it was also a sign that my daughter has learned compassion.

How do you teach that? Did you tell them to look the word up and hope that the definition will explain it? Do you spend hours trying to give examples in hope's that your children will finally get what you are talking about?

I never really knew I was teaching compassion all these years, but Amber must have been watching me. She has watched me feed the homeless, hug children that other people would not touch, bottle feed cat's, sew for the shelters.... the list goes on. Did I succeed in teaching compassion by my actions? Do all of my actions speak louder then words?

In this case I have. I have taught compassion by doing the right thing and taking my children along for the ride. I guess I did not mess them up to much.


Tightening the Corset Again said...

Actions speak louder than words... when you model compassion, kids learn it.

Queenneenee said...

Sounds like they are doing just fine, and that doesn't happen by accident.

Martha said...

I've always agreed with your parenting style because I parent the same way. I think we're raising much better kids than average because of it.

Rachel said...

Wow. What a great feeling that must be.

I remember when I watched my youngest (when she was 5) see her cousin get a spanking. He SO deserved it. However, she just teared up and cried so hard. I said, "you know he was a very bad boy, and shouldn't have done that." she said, "I know Mom, but it HURT him!"

compassion. it's a good thing.

Pamela said...

Somehow they learn it. My son has it, and sometimes I think it's just amazing. He showed compassion when he was very small. Amazing.

moshell's lilbit of space said...

it is actions and that you learn what you live OR you change what you learned and teach better.

Like you....I am glad I am the way I am when it comes to my children....this is why they are who they are :)

Gerry said...

I do think that how parents act sends a much bigger message than what they preach, which may not jive with their actions. I know the way my dad and his father took care of their animals made a big impression on me. I knew that they would be rough in the ways of the times, but they would not be cruel or sadistic and they were the same with their children. I thought my mom's inability to handle drinking caused a lot of the warfare in our home. She would lose her temper and abuse my dad until he got angry, but yet she had married him knowing he had a drinking problem. So her inability to be reasonable about expectations or civilized when she was disappointed I regarded as about as big a problem as my dad's drinking. So I vowed not to treat any drinkers like that in my life. It is not surprising that I a sober person would be loved among drinkers but people who think abusing drunks for their faults is the way to go constantly criticize me for being 'soft' on drunks.

Melissa said...

thats great that your girls are so smart and stong minded. They get it from their momma

Lori said...

I think it's a mixture of a child's natural character traits and their upbringing. They learn a lot from you, but you can't teach them everything. You have a couple of great girls, and they are lucky to have a mom who sets a good example.

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