twisted and tired.

Life often happens when I am not looking. That is what has happened to me the last few days.

Yesterday Rusty called me and asked if I would be willing to move to Vegas next summer. I said yes lets go! Then I jumped on line and looked at housing out there. It is so cheap compared to California! I even found a no kill shelter that I do foster care at.

Today I headed to 29 palms to say good bye to another marine. I hate this damn war and I hate sending boy's to fight it. That does not matter. I packed up three quilts and headed out.

I met Rusty at the hotel and then we had crazy hot sex in his hotel room before heading to the base. You have to love sex in a hotel room!

We picked up the marine and his friend and we went to dinner. We had Italian. It was so good. I even bought the under aged marine a beer. O.K. actually it was two beers. I don't care. If you are old enough to fight for this country then you are old enough to have a damn beer.

Our friend brought one of his buddies to dinner. This kid was interesting! His family immigrated to America when he was just two years old. Our conversation over dinner was just light and funny. Then I had to take the boy's back to base.

Once we got there I gave our friend his quilt. I said "I hope this keeps you warm and please know that this quilt was made with love." Then I handed his friend a tie blanket. These two boy's were just in shock that someone would do this for them. I still had one blanket left, so Rusty grabbed a marine and asked when he was leaving. We gave him a blanket as well. I have never in my life seen that marine before and will probably never see him again, but got one of my tie blankets.

The conversation leaving base was mainly me talking and Rusty listening. I guess I was thinking out loud and before I knew it, it was to late to shut up.

I told Rusty that a move to Vegas would be good for our family. That is one part of the country that I have not explored very much. It may also be bringing me step closer to crossing something off my bucket list. I want to white water raft through the grand canyon!

I told Rusty how I cried on my way up to 29 Palms and how much I hated the marine corps and how much I hated this damn war. My mood changed a little bit after I spent some time with the boy's. One of the boy's kept saying thank you for dinner, thank you for supporting us. That made me feel good, but it also made me feel sad.

I guess I never really knew how I had impacted the marines. Tonight it was brought to the front of my mind. I asked Rusty what would happen to our boys if we moved to Vegas? Who would do their laundry, welcome them home, cook for them and drive for 5 hours just to have dinner with them? Who will fill my shoes?

I guess my friend was right when she said that I had found my purpose. I know that if we move to Vegas I will find my purpose again. I will miss my boys and I will always wonder who is filling my shoes.

I am going to go crawl into bed and sleep tight. Life has a way of working itself out. I so want to cry for the boy's that are leaving, but my tears will not bring them back. Besides, this weekend we are having a going away party for one of the marines who is getting out.

Life and time move on.