no spending update.

Last year when I started my no spending diet I had no idea where this would take me. I had hoped that it would put some extra money in my pocket and really make me think about every purchase.

Now that I am on this diet I am seeing the fruits of my labor. When we had to replace the engine in Rusty's truck, we had the money. We do have the money in savings to fix my car but we have decided to wait and take it out of a pay check instead of dipping into our savings.

Now I do think about every single purchase that I make. Yesterday I had pulled out a London broil. I could not figure out what to do with it, so I jumped on line and found a beef stew that could be made in the crock pot. The price of beef has done through the roof, so I decided to use only half of the London broil, and just add a ton of veggi's. I used all the veggi's that I had, even if I was not following the directions. Everyone loved it and there was nothing left over!

Oh sure I have splurged a few times, but not as often as I use to. It is nice to have that extra money sitting in my bank account.

Yesterday the high school called me to inform me that my girls friend's son was injured and need to go to the hospital. So I go and pick him up and and I am looking at his finger. It just looked bad. Every joint in one finger was out of socket. It was just gross!

I am trying to figure out a way to send three children to magic mountain for christian day. The tickets are $30 each and I want to give each of them $30 spending money. I could just hand over the money, but I don't want to do that. I don't want to find a way to make the money, and not take from our personal account. I have until the end of April to figure all of this out. I can do it. I know I can.

My experiment with the girls cleaning the house is working out very well. Tomorrow they switch. I think this has been good for them because now they are seeing how much work goes into keeping the house clean.

Ryan brought home a field trip form and his class is going to Sea World this year. I am glad that they are going because this lets me off the hook on taking him. I know that sounds bad, but he will have more fun with his friends then hanging out with Rusty and I.

Life is good and my day is calling me.

sometimes

Saturday was so awesome! A bunch of us headed down to the lake for some much need sun and fun. The water was freezing cold, but it also felt good to get in the lake and swim.

Saturday all of us including the marines went to the see the play Beauty and the beast. One of Nikki's friends was in the play, so we all decided that it would be a great evening out, and it was! The cast did such an awesome job. I have not been to a play in a while, but it is something that I love. Ryan is really enjoyed himself as well. It is hit or miss with Ryan, so I was glad to see him having a blast.

Sunday just sucked! I argued with Amber. She is on my last nerve. I found out that she was going to get her nose pierced. Now normally that would not bother me, but I just came unglued.

O.K. Amber lets recap all of this. I am paying your phone bill, your car insurance, your college, your cable, your car registration, and most of all you live here for free! Does this child honestly think that a nose ring is going to help her get a job? Sometimes I think Amber is really pushing me, but I am to the point where I am ready to throw her ass out into the real world.

Amber need to go back to the rich family that once had her. Amber is to good to work fast food, or go around ask people for work. Heck even Nikki asked if she could take down our recycling just so she could pay her phone bill. Amber won't even do that! Oh this child of mine.

Rusty got on my last nerve as well. The tanning bed was acting up so I asked Rusty if he would fix it again. The answer was no because he did not want to put any more money into it. I said a few things that I should not have said, and then I went and listed the tanning bed on craigslist. Some people came and got it. I started cleaning up the garage.

I was out there working out some anger when Rusty comes out to help. I really did not want help. I just wanted to be left alone to work out some anger issues. I can't figure out why when something is important to Rusty we have the money for it, but when it comes to me we never have the money. Why is that?

Last night I just turned in to the ice queen. I will get over it. Maybe I have finally learned my lesson? The lesson that says just stop hoping for things. You will never get them.

I mentioned to Rusty that I have not gone rock climbing out in Joshua tree in a while. (http://www.nps.gov/jotr/) So I have been asking around I think I have a group that would be game for rock climbing, hiking, and just hanging out. I feel the need to get out and explore the world around me.

Years ago I saw a sign that said "bloom where you are planted". That is so true. I know as a military wife that I have not always liked where we lived but this is a big world so we need to get out there and explore it. I know that we wont live her forever, so I better enjoy southern California while I can.

O.K. it is time to get my day started.

eco friendly friday

We seem to have a ton of pill bottles around, so I went on the hunt for some of the best ways to reuse them. I hope that you guys find at least one ides for all your old pill bottles and as always leave me your idea!

1.The easiest way to reuse pill bottles is to store household odds n' ends in them, such as nails, nuts and bolts, thumbtacks, or paperclips. Organize your kitchen "junk drawer" this way, and write the items' names on the outside of the bottle.

2. When traveling, store only the vitamins and supplements you'll need during your trip in an empty pill bottle. You won't have to take along a the whole container for each supplement, thereby saving room in your luggage for souvenirs.

3. Make a goofy, ironic Christmas tree ornament (or several) out of empty pill bottles: carefully punch a hole in the lid of the bottle with an awl or icepick, then thread a loop of twine, ribbon, or fishing line through the hole and knot it on the inside. Replace the cap on the bottle. Quite a statement about holiday stress, no?

4. Give a basket of pill bottle filled with different candies to friends on their "milestone" birthdays--30, 40 or 50. Be sure to remove the original labels (see step 1) and replace with homemade labels--such as "Over the Hill Pills." You could even make a birthday card resembling a prescription pad to go with the theme.

5. Make a baby's rattle by filling an empty pill bottle with a few dried beans. Just be sure to glue the lid on the bottle so the child cannot open the rattle.

6. Store your spices in a collection of empty pill bottles, and write the name of the spice on the lid. This is a great solution for storing herbs that you have grown and dried yourself. You could even build or purchase a wall-mounted spice rack to display your collection.

7. use them to start your seeds in.

8. glue the cap on and make a cat toy out of them. If your cat is like our cat's they will play with anything!

9. Use them as coin holders. I am going to have to put on in my laundry room and in my daughters car! We always have a ton of change there.

10. Make a pocket sewing kit. I really should do this! I am always needing to sew something for someone when I am not around my sewing machine.

Don't forget that tomorrow is earth hour! Check my face book for more info.

red velvet

Years ago my mother in law made me a red velvet cake. I had never had one before. I never even heard of them. I mentioned this cake to my mom and she said that she had not had one in many years. Hmmm. I have found the boxed version of this cake and I have made it a few times, but for me a red velvet cake is a special treat. A few weekends ago when we were at Chili's I saw that they had a red velvet cake. So I ordered it. It cam in a shot glass. A shot glass! That is not even worth getting the milk out for. So last night one of the marines said "Hey mom I got you something." I look in the box and there it was, a red velvet cake. I just had a slice of it and the memories started flooding back.

Not much happened at the doctors yesterday. I have to go in for another ultrasound and then the doctors will compare the two, and we will go from there. This all sounds so easy. Just get the surgery, but it is not that easy for us. Rusty does not want me to have the surgery because his mother died on the table during a routine surgery. Then there is the question of do I trust the doctors... no. Then I have to make sure to tell the girls to not tell my mother until after the fact. My mother wants to come out, but that would mean that she would be bringing hell child and none of us want that. Then there is the question, if they are not getting bigger and they are not bothering me do I roll the dice and hope it stays that way? So many questions, and only Rusty and I can answer them.

Tomorrow I am heading out to the desert with Rusty. He has to go out to another base to deliver some stuff and he asked me to go with him. I love spending time with Rusty.

Today was much the same. I got some cleaning done. I laid out in the sun for a while, and my last load of laundry is in the dryer right now. I also found out that Nikki has to have all four wisdom teeth cut out next month. Oh what a joy that will be.

My ex has stopped paying his child support again, so now I am going to have to really look at our budget and see if we can afford a nice night out. I wish that man would just fall off the planet.

I have been on facebook for a few weeks now. I have hooked up with some old friends, and I have ignored some people. Some people are just meant to be ignored.

I think I am going to get sit in the sun and read a book. Tomorrow is flash me Friday so I am going to be looking for truckers.

Life is good.

It has been a while

Well it has been very interesting around here. Last night one of our friends left, so she could finish her trip to Oregon, but not without drama. Our friend adopted one of my foster kittens about two years ago and she named him Mr. Fluffy. I love seeing Mr. Fluffy, but I am sad to say that someone injured him. We do not know who, but we do know how. Someone slammed his tail in the door and they injured it enough that the bone is now exposed. On Friday Beth is going to have part of his tail amputated. I can't believe someone would do that and then not own up to it. Sometimes people suck.

I also found out yesterday that a dear friend will not be coming back. I have mentioned her before, She is the one that I help pack up. Yep, she is finally sick of her husband and has had enough. I can't blame her. I am just mad that I will not be able to hold that baby for a very long time. Guy's can be such jerks.

Today I am going in to get my referrals and start the process of seeing what the heck we are going to do about my insides. If we do anything. I have not made any decisions and I won't until I see the results of a new ct scan and compare them to the old ones. So today is the first step for me.

Today I don't really have a lot going on. I have laundry to do, but that is normal. I have a doctors appointment and then after that I think I am just going to chill and read a book. Did those words come out of my mouth? I am not a reader. Never have been, but I am reading a book called forever Lily. It is about a ladies journey to adopt a child from China. I am so there in China with here! I do need to read more, but I have a very hard time finding books that hold my interest.

I talked to one of my uncles yesterday. I called him and asked him if he would like some pictures of him when he was little. I goofed big time. The other boy in the picture with my dad was not that uncle but another uncle. Oh well. My uncle asked me how my mom was doing. I just let out a big sigh. I gave him a brief run down of how he was doing. Then he asked something else and I had to explain that for years my parents tried to keep my sister happy just because she was adopted, and now that is carrying over to hell child.

My Uncle brought up a good point to me. He said that sometimes the children do have to raise the parents. I told my uncle that I just don't know what to do, so I am doing nothing. My mother is a grown women and she knows what she needs to do, but is not doing it. Now, my uncle has got me thinking. That is all he has me doing. Do I need to get in my mom's face and tell her what she should already know. Is my mother spinning out of control so much that she can't see what the rest of us see? My mom is still in Mexico, and I have no idea when I will talk to her again, but my uncle did give me something to think about. And thinking is all I am doing.

Life is good

oh just go away

I made a huge mistake yesterday. I spoke to my mother. She actually called to talk to Ryan, Because Ryan turned 14 yesterday. I made the mistake of actually talking to my mother.

I heard all about how hard her life is, and how much she needed a vacation. She did put off her vacation to Mexico until the child from hell was on spring break.

Please mother tell how hard is your life? Have you ever looked behind yourself to see all the destruction that you have caused? Have you ever wondered why people run from you?

O.K. lets see in the last month you have taken everything from my brother in law. Everything. I sit and wonder why? What gives you the right to walk into peoples lives and just tear them apart so that you can have your way?

Please mother tell me how hard your life is as you run away to Mexico for a much needed vacation. Please give me a vivid description of the sunset. Please keep whining to me about you not going on a vacation in 6 months. Maybe I will be able dig deep down in my sympathy jar and find some for you. I doubt that will happen since I have not had a no shit vacation in over 19 years. Rusty and I just planned a night out, and Nikki is bitching because it is the day after her birthday. My sympathy jar is empty.

Please mother, tell me, how do sleep at night, knowing that you still choose between your grandchildren. Please tell me how it feels to have your other grandchildren so badly want to to go on a vacation, and you don't even offer to take them. How does it feel to slowly be isolating your own grandchildren?

Please mother let me paint you a picture. See that red spot? That is my from my head banging against the wall, just hoping that you would love me. The green is for all the money that you are now trying to throw at me. Do you really think money is going to stop the hurt? Dark blue is color I have turned by biting my lips so many times. So many times I said nothing because I did not feel it was my place. Purple is the color I wear for mourning. Mourning the loss of a mother, because I am finally starting to just let go of the idea of a loving mother. Black and white are the colors I see in. I see them very clearly, you have made those colors very vivid for me.

The one color you are not going to take from me is sky blue. Blue is the sky and I am still going to reach for it, despite your best efforts to keep me down. You may have banged me up a little bit, but my wings still work and I will never allow you to clip them.

everyone is home

Yep. I picked him up last night. Rusty and I took him out to dinner and I told the waitress to just keep their drinks coming. Rusty and the marine had so much to talk about. Me? I sat there with a napkin up my nose because for some reason it started bleeding!

Yesterday a group of marines showed up. I am not sure why. I think some of them are on leave but whatever, here they are in the middle on the week. Yesterday we also had a friend from Il. come in. Man it is so great to see her. I need more girlfriends. O.K. I need more real life friends.

I need to go out to the fall's. Yesterday a group of people went out there and they said that the water is starting to slow down. I need to go get pictures. I will add that to my to do list today.

So I am now on facebook and I have found a few friends from way back when. I even talked to one of them on the phone. O.K. the truth is he was my first boyfriend. I actually talked to him on the phone yesterday. It was kinda creepy how much we have or had in common. He sold drugs. I did drugs. We were both in Hawaii at the same time. It is just strange.

I swear Amber does not know how good she has it. Amber has a roof over her head and food on her table. I pay for her to go to college, and I don't care that she wants to major in yoga! I am paying all of her bills. So what does Amber do yesterday? She turns down a job interview. I chewed her ass. She is going in today.

I also chewed Ambers boyfriends ass out yesterday. I found out that he had been pinching her so hard that he will leaving bruises on her. I put a stop to that. I reminded him that I have a .22 and that if he ever lays a hand her except to love her, that I will hunt him down. We now have an understanding.

Life is good.

sitting on go

Last night I answer the phone.

me: hello

Greg: Mom I am here on the east coast.

me: oh my God you are home!

Greg: yep I will be California tomorrow, will you come get me?

me: you don't have to ask. I will be there. I must warn you. I may hug you to death.

Greg: That's fine.

Me: hey a bunch of us are going body surfing on Friday do you want to come?

Greg: you want my paste white body on the beach?

Me: hey if I can take my white bum to the beach so can you.

Greg: its a date

It is funny how fast life can change. Friday is Ryans birthday, so the girls and I were going to surprise hm and pick him up from school and take him down to the ocean. I cant wait to go body surfing! I know I will be sore on Saturday, but hey, I have pain pills. You only live once, so why not.

Yesterday I told Rusty that I wanted to get another ct scan, and that I have been thinking a lot about the surgery. I don't want it, but I also don't want to die because I was to stubborn to get the surgery.

Rusty so does not want me to have the surgery. I asked him if I did have it if he would be there when I woke up. He just kissed and said you know I will.

Yesterday I wanted hot pig sex, it turns out I got something better. I got to feel my husbands tender side. The side that says I love you more then I have ever loved anything else. Sometimes a girl just needs to know that she is loved that much.

I asked Rusty if someone was cutting my hair while I was sleeping. I just got that look. The look that says you ask the strangest questions. I swear my hair is getting shorter. I want my hair to reach my bum. While I was growing up I use to hate my hair, and mom always made me keep it short. Now I am not cutting it and I am tyring to see how long it will get.

My phone is charging, I have the camera ready, so I need to get into a tub and get dressed. I am sitting on go, just waiting for the call that says I will there at this time.

Life is good.

I did what?

I actually took the time to do my hair today. Now I am wondering why. We are in such a marriage rut. Now the last time I said I was in a marriage rut I was gluing tea cup to saucers and wearing my dead dad ties.

I am married I should see my husband more then a few hours a day. I should be having sex all the time! I want hot nasty pig sex. I want to wake up the next morning and wonder how we chocolate on the ceiling! And yes that has really happened.

It is St. Patty's day. I am so missing my dad. My dad use to play Irish music for us. Does anyone remember the unicorn song? I love that song.

I think my whole life is in rut. I want to laugh until I cry. I want to push my limits. I want to do something that will scare me. I want to run away to the ocean and look for sand dollars. Instead I am sitting here blogging.

Rusty has promised me that he will put a new radiator in my car this weekend. Then I will more freedom to go do stuff. I was not meant to live a life routine. I was born to be the one who pushes the limits.

I have not fired my .22. I am thinking I will head down to base and go shooting. I will have to wait until this weekend and make sure that all of the boy's go with me. I want to remind them that I am still a good shot.

Three of the marines are on their way out. The one that just got home wants to do a rapid redeployment. What is up with these boys? I know that war is what boys do and old men talk about. I know that It is their job. I am just so sick of this damn war. Every time the boys leave we roll the dice and they come home. I fear that my luck will run out. I fear that their future wives will lay in bed and wonder if this damn ptsd will ever get better. I hate the marine corps and I hate this damn war.

However I know without these brave young men I would not have any of the freedoms that I have today. I would love to have all boys here at one time. I want to walk up to them one by one and give them a kiss.

Even if I am having a pity party for one. I still have a great life and I know that.

Life is good.

on the hunt

I love this picture of me, but the other day when I was looking at I realized that the hat I am wearing got crushed in a move. I need to go find my a new floppy hat. I am thinking the bigger and floppier the better. I have to go to wal crap today so I will start there.

I got up this morning and realized that half the light bulb in my kitchen were out. I am standing with coffee in hand looking at my ceiling. I don't think I can reach those bulbs. I could put it on Rusty's to do list, but we may end up eating by flashlight for several months. I guess I am just going to have to get the ladder out and try standing on the step that says it is not a step. I will also have to come up with a real good story in case I fall.

One of the marines asked me if I bought in Nitrogen to help my corn grow. Well, no I did not. That got me to wondering. Nitrogen was used in the Oklahoma city bombing, so if I walk into a feed store and ask for some will that send up a red flag? I have always wanted to be involved in an investigation.

I am really struggling with Nikki's trips this year. See on one hand I want her to go and have a good time and explore the world. However one of the trips she wants to take is to Mexico. Hello they are sending American heads back. My husband is selling the body armour and guns. I guess my fear is that my husband and the marines would start another war because something happened to Nikki. I am very open minded, but I have to wonder if I am to open minded sometimes.

It is finally warming up here. I would guess that in another month the lake will be warm enough to get in. I am looking forward to spending a lot of time on the lake. Right now I can hear people out there boating. I love the water!

I have been trying to get some quilts done because I just found that three marines are deploying soon. I am thinking that I am going to have to give up quilting for them and go to tie blankets. I am just amazed at many of my boy's are deploying.

I would like to ask the universe why I was placed around all military. Why does my heart go out to these boy's. Why is it that the marines trust me so much. Just a week ago we were picking up a marine and once we got on the road he said "mom we only had one death...." and then he gave me all the details. Why me? Then again maybe the question should be why not me?

Well the sun is shinning, so I am going to go outside and play in it.

Life is good

Let all happy dance!

Oh if this is not the truth then I don't know what is! My full maiden name is Kelli Eileen McMahan, and my father was first generation U.S. citizen! I can't get to much more Irish. However I am also a really bad Irish person. You will never see me eat corn beef, I don't like beer, and I will only eat potatoes a few times a year and they have to be cooked the exact way I like them.

Rusty went and checked the mail today. Yep, we have to walk to check our mail, therefore I don't usually check it. Well.... Rusty hands me this huge envelope from social services. Inside are all of my medical bill and a letter saying that I have been approved for medi cal for the next seven months and that all of my past due bills were paid!

I am going to take full advantage of all of this. I am going to go get new glasses, and I am going to go see all the doctors that I have been needing to see. I am going to use our tax dollars to the extreme.

I want another c.t. scan done. I don't believe that my tumors are as big as everyone originally said. I don't believe that they are there at all. Rusty does not want me to have surgery. Rusty said if anything happened to me he would have to kill everyone that was in the O.R. Rusty's mom went in for routine surgery and ended up dieing on the table, so he is very scared that something like that will happen to me.

Yesterday Nikki got her first corp[orate sponsor for her mission trip! Nikki is now $200 closer to her goal. I am so proud of her for getting out there and doing what she needs to do.

Yesterday I took one of the marines over to Nikki's other parents house (deb and poppi). The marine said I need to work on my Spanish because I will be going home, and I don't want my mom to wonder what happened to me.

The marine said that he had the best time just sitting around speaking Spanish and being fed. That is something that I don't understand. Mexican people feed you. But the marine felt at home and said that this is one house that he will visit often. I am so glad that he connected with other people that truly understand him and his culture.

I really have done that much today. I got my bedroom and bathroom SCRUBBED down. I even threw open the window to let a ton of fresh air come in. I want to know how two people can make such a mess. O.K. don't answer that I don't really care.

I have gotten a ton of sewing done, and I still have a ton more to do, but that is o.k. Something I can't figure out is with all the sewing that I have been doing...well my material stash is not going down. I guess that is a good thing.

I told you so!

Well. I was having a good day. I got a lot of sewing done, took a walk and just goofed off.

My brother in law called me. We have been playing phone tag all week. Well.

It seems that my mom has finally lost her mind for good. About the time my mom told me that she was depressed was the about the time my mom backed a u haul up to my sisters house and took everything that was left. She even took my sister ashes! My mother left my brother in law with a bed.

I knew it was going to happen. I knew it!

However this answers a lot of questions that I had. What am I going to do about my mother depression? I am going to do nothing. My mother has made her bed and now I am going to let lay in it.

My mother has chosen to sit and look at everything my sister ever owned. My mother has chosen to raise the child from hell. My mother has chosen to do so many things. Now there is more light on the subject I can see everything clearly.

I am glad that I chose to keep my mouth shut. I am going to continue to keep my mouth shut. I will not bail my mom out. I will not take part in her pity party. I will not......

I still have no idea why my mom is offering me money. I still have no idea why my mom wants to anchor to me. I still have no idea about a lot of things. What I do know is that my niece is not welcome here, so that means we wont be seeing my mom for a very long time. That is life.

Life and time march on.

My brother in law did mention that he did still have my sisters certificate. I asked him to please mail it to me. He said that he would. Rusty asked my I wanted the birth certificate. That is an easy answer. My mom said that she wanted it because it was hard to replace since my sister was adopted.

Rusty just laughed and called me a bitch. I just laughed back and said "yep I learned it from your mom." Rusty laughed again and said "Yep and we have shoe box to prove it. My mom is smiling down on you right now, You have learned very well."

Before Rusty's mom died she showed me these brass figure the her father had gotten in Cambodia. Now my mother in law has these figurines because she knew that one of her sisters wanted them, and she wanted to piss her sister off, so my mother in law took them. Now with all of that said.... When my mother in law died I went through everything and found those damn brass figurines. I took them long before the family showed up to claim them.

Once I told Rusty the story behind these damn figurines he just laughed. Yep I have learned to be evil and how to plot all thanks to the mother in law! Oh I miss that lady.

Well I need to go mend Nikki's blanket and then I am going to sit in bed and watch t.v. Tomorrow I am going to work in the flower bed and then hike out to the water falls. I might even scale the falls!

Eco friendly Friday

Well here it is. Another Friday. We have made it through another week.

This week I want to talk about everything sitting on my desk.

Right in front of me is a box of envelopes. They are sitting here reminding me that I still need to register at a few places so I can pay those bills on line. The joy of paying my bills on line is that I never have to search for a stamp, I don't have to drive anywhere, I don't get a mail box full of bill's and inserts that just end up going into the recycling bin anyway.

I have a fan sitting here. Right now it is telling me that I need to clean it, but it works wonders. We turn it on to cool us down. Most of the year I can get away without running my air, and by using the fan while we are in the room it saves us a ton of money on our electric bill. It is so much less expensive to run a fan for a few minutes while we sit here, then to try to cool an entire house.

I have a stack of empty gift cards. I am going to gradually add money to all of them. I have found these card in the trash or someone has just left them laying around. Gift cards are plastic and we all know where plastic comes from.....oil. Also by filling them up throughout the year it will not be crunch time come Christmas.

I have a stack of scratch paper. Anytime we print something and then don't need it, the paper gets cut up to be reused before it goes into the recycling bin. If we are printing out directions or something that we will only use once then we print it on the back of something else.

Next to the desk we have a box where I put all of my husbands old papers. For whatever reason my husband seems to end up with a lot of news papers. Instead of recycling them all right away I save them until the box is full and then I will I take all the papers down to the local animal shelter.

I have a picture of my mom's cat. My mom's cat was one of my foster babies. When I have foster babies in I try very hard to go green with them as well. I reuse crates, blankets, towels. You name it and I reuse it! The only thing I can't figure out how to reuse are the nipples once the kittens chew through them.

I have a tub of body butter. Once all of the body butter is gone I will wash the tub out and save it. Last year I took all of my tubs and posted a message on craigslist. Some lady wanted them because she was going to make bath salts. That works for me. I would rather something be reused before it goes into the recycling.

That is it for my desk. So what is on your desk?

So what else did I do this week that was eco friendly?

1. I rode my bike to the store.

2. I hung a few more loads of laundry.

3. I dumpster dived for boxes when I was helping my girlfriend pack up.

4. I used some of my scraps to make some pet quilts.

5. I made Nikki find a carpool to go to and from all of her church events.

6. I was not going to stop at the store, but I ended up having to. I did not bring any of my reuseable bags with me, so I searched Amber's car and I finally found two bags in the trunk! Yes! I so did not want to have my items out in my arms.

lazy day

Yep that is me. At Sam's cook out last week I just had to have a beer. A beer goes so well with hot dogs. All of the boys were lined up to take a picture of me drinking. LOL

Today I have done nothing. I mean nothing. I did take Rusty his cell phone charger. I do get milk, and I got on facebook. I have not had to clean anything, I did not fold any laundry. I have just felt like doing nothing, so that is what I have done today.

I just looked at that picture again. Why do people only take pictures of when my hair is up? I look like a cancer patient.

Rusty is gone on his trip which means I have control of the remote tonight! Every women should be as lucky as me.

Oh the fighting has just begun. Now the girls are pissed because someone made a mess and the other one has to clean it. Now they know how I feel!

The marine that got back a few days ago is spending the week just chilling and I am happy to be spending this time with him. I have learned so much about him. I never knew that he spoke Spanish! I speak very little Spanish so I find it very interesting when I meet people that speak two or more languages. The marine also wants to meet Popi. Popi will be happy to have this marine in his home and he will also be happy to have someone else to speak Spanish with.

Sometimes I really wish I knew how to speak more then one language.

Well my lazy day must continue, so I am off to do nothing again. Oh I so love having the children responsible for the house. It makes my life so much easier.

I am done plotting.

I put a lot of thought into my punishment for my very inconsiderate children. I have divided up some stuff for them to do. I explained to the girls. that I am sick of being their maid, and I am sick of them just leaving everything for me to do. So here is what I came up with.

Amber is charge of the kitchen. She must do everything that I usually do. I told her that I expect the kitchen to be spotless when I get up every morning.

Nikki gets both of the living rooms. I expect the same out of her.

Now this might sound easy but, it will not be easy for them. Once they see how other people including their friends, treat the house they will begin to get pissed. Every time someone put a plate down and then just walks away, or when someone spills a drink,... well they are now responsible for it.

I am hoping that this will cause the girls to divide and conquer. Maybe if they get sick of cleaning up after everyone else they will start to get on everyone else to clean up after themselves.

I got some sleep last night so I am very happy about that. At one point last night I just started crying. I was so sore and so tired, but I still had stuff to do, so I could not sleep yet. I took a nice hot bath and just crashed. I do feel much better today.

Yesterday Amber went to the dentist and she is still sore today. Amber is in so much pain, and the sad thing is she has to go back next week and have the rest of it finished up!

My goal for today is to get some laundry done. I have been running around so much, and laundry was the last thing on my mind. Now I have stacks of it, so I need to try to play catch up.

Yesterday I was looking for one piece of paper. I knew right where I put it, but was it was no where to be found on the desk. O.K. now I am getting pissed. We have a huge old desk, how is it that I can't seem to find anything? So I went and got a shoe box. I searched through the desk and found every piece of paper that was mine. I am going to keep the box in the closet. The next time Rusty can't find something I am going to remind him that everything in and on the desk is his! I swear to you the man is a messy pack rat.

Oh well their is no reason to complain about it. I know where all of my stuff is, and that is all that really matters.

I need to go do my hair and go finish up the laundry. Rusty asked me to go down to base with him. I will go. I know it will be the last time I will get to see him until Saturday night. I hate these damn trips, but that is life.

pissed off

Well. here I sit. My ass is dragging. I got about three hours of sleep last night.

* I got a call mid morning. Mom. We are Minnesota. I will be in around 10 p.m. Cool. that is the last one to come home.

* 1.p.m. go pay for the repairs on Rusty's truck and go help my girlfriend pack up. It was so nice to be able to help them and to get to play with the baby. That was short lived. I had to pack up the food she was giving us, and go get Rusty.

* I arrived at Rusty's work at 5:15 and at 5:20 we were back on the road to come home. I have Rusty call the girls and tell them to be ready because we were going to have to do a turn around and go get Ben.

* 6:30 I call Nikki and tell her to have everyone come outside and unload the car. I need everything out of the trunk and out of the back seat. We have to have room for gear. I grab a bite to eat and go to the bathroom and then it is time to get back on the road to go back to base.

*6:45 We finally get on the 15 heading south. I tell everyone to keep an eye for the buses and the trucks. I want to know where the boys are!

*7:45 we pull up to the back gate and there right in front of us are the buses! Yes, that is right the marines are right in front of us.

*8:00 we hit the another side of base and we decide to go by the armory. It was then that my happy bubble was busted. There before us were marine in formation, with weapons. They were heading out. I said a prayer for them.

*8:15 we have finally made it to the parade deck. The marines will be on time. So I have some time to kill.

*9:30 The marines finally show up! After we find Ben and we finally let him go, it is time to go find all of his stuff.

This sounds easy but it is not, but in true military wife fashion. I grab Ben's back pack. The we find two of his other bags. I tell Chris and Nikki to go put these bags in the car while we look for the last bag. Chris just looks at these heavy bags. Nikki said "put that one on your back and we can both carry the sea bag." That's my girl! We finally find the last the bag so now we can go home!

*10:30 we finally get on the road. Ben wants to stop for McDonald's. No problem. There is one outside the gate.

*12:30 We finally get home! I gave Ben a hug and tell him that I have to go to bed because I have to be up at 5:30. I do not even get undressed. I take off the bra and crash. I figure I will just wear the same shit in the morning.

*1 a.m. I finally fall asleep.

*2:30 Nikki comes in and wakes me up. She Say's "mom I feel sick. Can I have some of your anti vomit medicine?" I roll over and grab the bottle. Oh crap I forgot that I had thrown some different pills in there. Now I have to really wake up and look at all the pills in my hand. I need to find the anti vomit pills.

* I have no idea what time it was when I fell back a sleep, but I remember the alarm going off. Rusty told me to go back to bed because he was going to have Amber take him to work. Amber comes in pouting because she does not want to do it.

I drag my ass out of bed, grab my shoes, and head for the toilet. I finally get my shoes on so now I need a cup of coffee.

I find my to go coffee mug and make me a cup of coffee. It was once I turned around and looked at my house that I got pissed.

Even through the fog I could see all the food still sitting on the counter. I am guessing I am the only one who knows where the trash bag liners are. Because someone has been throwing trash in the trash can with no liner. All of the bowls for the yesterday's muffins were still sitting there dirty. No one had bothered to remind Ryan to unload the dish washer so all of the dirty dishes were piled up in the sink. The vacuum was still sitting in the middle of the living room. Nikki still has camp stuff sitting by the front door.

Screw it. I don't have time to deal with this right now. I have to take Rusty to work.

On the way home I got madder and madder. I have three teenagers in the house and yet they can do nothing! I am running on no sleep and the last thing I want to do is go clean up someone Else's messes.

I am plotting my revenge. I need to go get a nap before I have to go get Rusty. I will be so happy to have the truck back tomorrow.

another long day

Amber got up and took Rusty into work, because once she is done with that she will have to go straight to school. I am glad that I did not have to make that drive this morning.

I did however make some vegetable soup, so we will see how that turns out. I did not follow the directions all the way. I used the vegetables that I had on hand and I only used fresh. I also cut up some left over steak to throw in. So in my soup went: onion, carrots, potatoes, and spinach. I hope everyone enjoys the soup.

I am so glad that we have changed time. I love the summer. The long dark days of winter just make me want to scream! I could never live in Alaska. For me the longer days mean more time outside and warmer days. I can't wait to head down to the lake for some fun in the sun.

I called my mother last night. The conversation was civil and I did not even go anywhere subjects that would cause an argument. My mother brought up hell child once and I just changed the subject. No sense in beating a dead horse.

What my mother does not know is that I am talking to my former brother in law. So I know all that is going on. I am waiting to find out when hell child will be moving in with my mom. It is easier for me to go through him and get straight information then to listen to my negative run everyone down before she answers a simple question.

Yes, Paula I agree shame on that marine. I have been thinking about not quilting for the marines any more. It is not that it is to hard, it the fact that I know the quilts are expected. I use to love doing to quilts and now I actually hear complaining. They are not the right color or they are not long enough. I am just sick of it. It is much easier to help people that I don't know. How sad is that?

There are times when I feel as if my heart has gotten so hard and cold. Rusty and I are not rich people. We do what we have to do just to get by. I try to help people and do nice tings for people, but when I ask for help I get smacked down. For me I know I am getting to the point of no return. I am almost to the point of not even wanting other people at my house because some people take us for granted.

Nikki and Chris are back from winter camp and they said that they had good time and then they went to bed. Nikki has no voice left! I know that they went snow boarding and had snowball fights but that is all I know right now.

Once Amber gets home from school I am heading down to base to help out a friend. Her husband screwed up and is now on restriction for 45 day's and after that the marine is going to the field for a month. So this wife is packing up her house, putting everything in storage and going home. I can't blame her. Her husband treats her and the baby like shit anyway.

I am so going to miss them. I am not going to be able to see and hold the baby for most of the summer. I hate this marine for being an ass hole. Because of his stupid actions I am going to miss my dear friend and the baby!

busy

Don't you just love mother Teresa? Several years ago I saw a book of all her saying, but I did not buy it. Now I wish I had.

Anyway, I don't think my life can get any crazier. My car still is not fixed. What we were told was going to be an easy fix has turned into us needing to put a new engine in Rusty's truck.

So we are down to one car. That means I have to take Rusty to and from work everyday. That is 4 hours out of my day. We will get the truck back just in time for Rusty to leave for one of his trips.

Oh Friday I was kinda involved in a high speed chase. The cops were casing someone, so everyone started pulling over and that caused a few fender binders. Then out of no where more cops passed me. I kept looking up because I wanted to see the po po in the air. I was hoping to be able to call the girls so and tell them to turn on the news and see me. But that did not happen.

Saturday I did a ton of yard work. It was so nice to go outside and get some of that stuff done. Today I am going to finish up and get some flowers planted. I do have some corn seed's so I am also going to get a row of corn in.

I think Ryan has lost his mind or he is just getting super lazy. Today I treat him like he was two and walk him through all of his chores because he could not be bothered to do them correctly. The thing that gets me is that these are not new chores these are chores that he has been doing for a few years now! I just made him re do everything. There is never enough time to it right but there is always time to do it again.

Today Rusty is cleaning out the garage. I was going to go help him, but I decided not to. I have asked and asked Rusty to go through all of his crap and he has not done it. Now all of a sudden he has a wild hair up his ass and wants that garage clean. If I was a betting women I would say 90% of the crap in that garage is his. Rusty still has not gone through all of his parents crap, but he did go through some of it today, I am happy about that.

I just asked one of the marines if we could borrow his car for two day's but he said that it would be to big of an inconvenience for him. O.K. how about all the times we put ourselves out to let you borrow our car. Note to self: do not loan this marine a car ever again.

My last foster kitty went to his new home yesterday! It is kinda strange not having him around, but it is nice to know that he went to good home.

O.K. I need to finish putting everything back in the kitchen, and then I am going to go plant my flowers.

eco friendly Friday

The other day when Amber and I were at the local shelter Amber said “I just hate this place.”

A worker over heard us and she said “you get use to it.”

I immediately said “I could never get use to killing animals.”

That started a conversation that I never saw coming. I was suddenly explaining to Amber the difference between kill shelters and no kill shelters. That led to another conversation about testing products on animals.

So I started doing some research on animal testing and I was shocked at what I found. I shared with Amber some of the stuff that I learned and I asked her if she would like to see some videos. Amber said no.

I know that all sorts of stuff are tested on animals, but will someone please explain to me why bleach has to be tested on animals?

I have a confession to make. I love body butter. I love how thick it is. It works wonders on my dry fish like skin. I learned that lotion is tested on animals! I went to my stash of body butter and started looking for the bunny sign.
If you see this bunny then you know that your products were not tested on animals.

One of the things that really shocked me was the fact that bath and body works does test their stuff on animals. I will now have to ban that from our house. The girls have a ton of stuff from them. I guess it is an easy gift to buy, but I just can’t support a company that test’s their products on animals.

I am not only the plastic bag Nazi, but now I am going to be looking for the bunny on everything I buy.

Below are a few links. Please check them out. There are list of companies that do test on animals and a list of companies that do not.
Just as I vote with my wallet and choose to not buy eco friendly cleaners, I am now going to be voting with my wallet on whether or not I buy products that are tested on animals.

If a shampoo has such harsh ingredients that it has to be tested on animals, then why would I want to buy that product any way?

http://www.care2.com/c2c/share/detail/655954


http://www.leapingbunny.org/shopping.php


Here is a list of a few things I did this week to be green and to save a little green.

1. I reused a zip lock cheese bag to store some left over onion. I do not buy zip lock bags, being able to reuse a bag with a zip lock does save my fridge from smelling.
2. I turned my car off while I was sitting in a construction zone. I am not sure what that saved me, but I sat there for over 10 minutes!
3. I borrowed warm clothing for the kids to take to winter camp. This saved me a ton of money and time. It also saved me some gas because I did not have to go to the store.
4. I placed an ad on craigslist for free moving boxes. They were gone in five minutes. I just keep pulling boxes out of peoples recycling and I save them until I have a big stack. It is nice to see them being reused.

Can you believe?

I had to take Rusty into work today and I was happy to do so. It gave us time to talk without a bunch of ears around.

I told Rusty that the last time I talked to my mom she admitted that she was depressed to hardly function. My mother is going to work and that is about it. I did not say anything to my mom, I just let it go. I told Rusty that I really need to think about this before I voice my option on this subject.

I have several concerns. I can only imagine the stress that she is under because in the last two years she has lost a husband and a daughter. Now she is taking on raising a 12 year old. I have spoken my peace on that subject, not that it matters. What can I do from here? If my mom does something crazy that what happens to hell child?

Rusty had no real advice for me on that subject. I need to really think this one through before I say something.

Then the subject of my money came up. I have been told by a few relatives that my dad left me some money. To the tune of six figures. I have not seen this money, nor have I asked my mom about this. Rusty would like to know if it is true. So would I, but how do you ask a question like that? Does the money really matter. To me it does not. I would buy my dream car and then put the rest away for the girls.

Rusty said that he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since my dad and my sister have died we have done nothing but hear rumors. The one person that would know the truth would be my dad's older sister, but I have not spoken to her in 19 years, so I don't feel that asking her would be the right answer to my questions. I am just leaving all of this alone.

I did tell Rusty that I have feeling once my mom dies that there is going to be a huge mess to clean up.

After I got back from taking Rusty I checked my e mail. I got an e mail from a dear friend telling me that she has a new baby girl. O.K. wait one second. I talked to you a few weeks ago and you were not pregnant! I am guessing that they adopted.

I am to old for shocks like this. I do not have a baby girl blanket ready! Oh my head hurts. I am so happy for them. They will be awesome parents, and now it give me an excuse to go see them!

I think we have everything ready for winter camp. I know Chris is happy to be going.

OH! speaking of Chris. I found today that his sister told his mom that he is not living here. I did not want this women to know where Chris was, that is why we told her that he was living here. Chris is doing awesome. He is going to school and he will graduate this spring. Someone paid for him to go to winter camp and he is looking into going into the service.

Chris is finally getting his life together after his mother tore it apart and now his sister goes and does this. The sister is on my shit list, and I told Chris this.

The rest of my day is calling me. Lets pray for no more surprise babies and no more trouble from Chris's family.

lazy crappy day

Today is cold, rainy and crappy here, so I have decided to not get dressed today.

On my to do list today was clean up our bedroom. I do mean clean! Then butter, our dog, walked in and barfed the grossest smelling stuff up. Well great. I was going to clean our room today but I did not want to clean the carpets, but that happened anyway. Well at least my room is clean now. I have no idea how long that will last since everything seems to get thrown into my room.

I did put on a pot of chili today. I so love my crock pot! I am still not sure how people live without one. I also looked up how to make vegetable soup in the crock pot. It sounds simple so I am going to try it. I am not a huge fan of vegetable soup, but everyone else is, so I am going to try it.

Nikki and Chris leave for winter camp on Friday. We looked at the weather today, and it is going to be a balmy 29 degrees up at big bear. I called some of the marines and they are going to loan us some cold weather gear. I am not going to go buy stuff for these two to use for a few day's and then not need them again until next year. Tomorrow night I get the great pleasure of stacking everything together and double checking list's so we can make sure that they have everything.

I have no ambition today. I need to go put away some laundry and then I am going to go sit in bed and knit, or do some tie blankets.

way to early

I have no idea what I am doing up this early. Why would anyone in their right mind get out of bed at 3:30 a.m.?

A ton of random stuff happened yesterday. We had to put Rusty's truck in the shop. At least it is a cheap repair and it will be done today. I am so glad for that because we are now down to one car and that just sucks!

Yesterday while I was at the store I saw a very scared pitbull She was so thin and so scared. I just wanted to take her home, but I know I can't. Then it hit at some point last night. I should have snatched her up and taken her down to base. At least they are a no kill shelter and they will feed her and make sure she gets adopted out. Note to self: go see if the dog is still out on the streets.

I called Sam and asked him to come over so we could talk. I asked Sam to talk to Chris about joining the service. I figure if it comes for someone closer to his age it might be better received. The sad reality is this. Chris is homeless, the people that he is staying with are expecting a baby. Chris as no money, no job and he can't afford to go to college. I just hope that Sam can point him in the right direction.

Amber is about on my last nerve. I so understand that jobs are hard to find right now, but her just being bithcy is really getting to me. She needs to find something before I strangle her.

Our cat George is a very good hunter. All weekend long she was bringing us mice and lizards. Then she brought home a rabbit! O.K. a rabbit is just to cute to bring home, and George is not much bigger then the rabbit she caught. One of the marines said that when she starts bringing home small dogs he will be impressed! Oh lets hope that does not happen.

On Sunday I told Chris to make sure he got a list of supplies that he will need for summer camp. Nikki comes home from church and says "Well our youth pastor has not made up a supply list and we leave this Friday." So yesterday Nikki and I sat down and made a list of things she has taken before. I think I have Chris covered. I am just going to let him use a lot of our stuff, and one of the marines left a pair of boots here, so Chris will wear those. I swear I am getting less impressed with this youth pastor as time goes on.

My index finger is killing me. I guess I have been doing to much knitting. Oh wait there is no such thing as to much knitting!

Yesterday I just cleaned the house, and did a ton of laundry. I still have a ton to do. Where does it all come from? I don't so much mind doing laundry, as much as I hate putting it away. Poor Rusty has gotten so use to just looking through all the piles of clothes to find his clean stuff.

I spoke with my mother yesterday. It was her birthday and she liked the gift Rusty and I got her. I am not sure if my niece has moved in for good, but she has been there a lot. Then again she is the white elephant in the room that we don't talk about.

Rusty will be getting up soon, and then it will be time to start our day. Oh good! I get to do everything I normally do while listening to Amber moan about not having a job, and I get to do all of this while my ass is dragging.

what a weekend!

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Thursday was a long night. We had to move and construct a lot of displays, and I am just so glad that we had a lot of help. It was long hard and dirty work. Nikki's boyfriend, Chris, worked his ass off, but we paid him and that is what he was there for. We roller back in here at midnight.

I stunk, I had dirt all over me, and even my hair smelled bad! I said screw it and went straight to bed. Then that dreaded alarm went went. Yep it is 5:30. Time to get up and get moving.

I got a cup of coffee and had a smoke. I walked back into the house and yelled "reveille, reveille, everyone up we have to leave at 7:30!" The moans and groans started, but everyone was up.

I jump in the shower and wash all the muck off of me. Get out, rub down with some lotion and go to get dressed. I was going to wear this red skirt, a black top that Betty gave me and some heals. Everything was laid out. Then it happened. I started to zip up the skirt and I broke the zipper. I broke that little thing off that pulls the zipper. Crap. O.K. now I have to find something else to wear. Oh wait. Betty gave me a dress. So I slide that one. It looked so nice on me.

Sam's graduation was so nice and everything went off without a hitch. I must say that I am so proud of him. He did good.

By now my feet are killing me and I now have open sores from the straps on those damn heals! Note to self. put those shoes in the yard sale pile. Rusty went and go me some band aids while I changed into some comfortable clothes.

We all ate lunch and headed down to Point Loma! Yes, my favorite play ground. Some of the people that went with us have never been there before so I gave them the guided tour. I saw some sign that reminded me to watch for whales. I did not see any whales, but we did see some seals playing in the ocean.

The tide was very low when we were there so we rolled up our jeans and started walking to other points on the cliffs. Louis, one of the marines took his shoes off because he did not want to get them wet. I just laughed at him and said "Louis they are just a material object." Louis ended up slipping on the rocks and getting his shoes soaked anyway.

The tide pools were just so full of life! It was so neat to see them. The rocks were very slippery, and we all took our turns falling, but it was so worth it!

For me the best part of going to Point Loma, is laying on the edge of the cliff and looking down into the ocean. I will walk all over and find different spots to lay and watch the waves. I also love the sounds of the ocean. Two saying kept popping into my head. One was the words to our God is an awesome God, and the other was Carpe diem.

I had a few moments that me stop and smile. I smiled the whole time I was down there, but these moments were the light bulb moments. The first on was when we came across an older couple and they asked me to take a picture of them and they asked if I could get the water in the picture. I took the picture and they told me that this was the first time they had ever been there. I told them that this was my favorite play ground. The couple walked off and sat upon this really high rock. I though nothing more of it until I looked over at them and they were watching all of playing and having a good time. The light bulb for me was seeing them just laughing and pointing at us. They were so cute and so sweet, and I could see Rusty and I being them years down the road. I am glad that couple had a good time even if it was just watching us youngsters playing.

The other light bulb moment came when I saw Chris's face lite up. he had never been down there and he was just in shock at the beauty of it all. Once we got down to the cliffs he had so much fun climbing, and slipping, and looking at the tide pools. I was not sure if Chris would have a good time. In his family you can only have a good time if you spend a ton of money, so going some place free was very different for him. I am so glad that he did have a good time and that it did not cost us anything. My light bulb moment with Chris was when I realized that he realized that you do not have to spend a lot of money to have a great time and that sometimes the best memories are made by chance.

On Saturday some more friends showed up. I was so excited to see them! I snatched up the baby and just hugged her and kissed on her. She is the only baby in our group, and I just love having a baby here. There is just something so magical about babies.

Saturday was so nice. So everyone decided to go up to the water falls. The water falls are only about 10 minutes from the house, and I knew they would be going good since we have had a lot of rain and snow thins year. I usually pack a lunch and some water bottles and the kids and I will spend the day up there just playing. I stayed home this time.

This was the first time Chris had been to the falls. He said that it was awesome!

Rusty asked me why I did not go tot he falls and I had to confess to him that I was sore from being at the cliffs the day before. Rusty just laughed and said "So you are admitting that you are not as young as you think you are." Yep that is what I was saying.

Saturday night we all went over to Sam's house for a cook out. My girlfriend and I left early because the baby was getting tired. I set up the pack and play we laid the baby down for the night. It was so nice to just be able to sit and talk to another female.

After everyone else got back they headed out to go bowling. I told my girlfriend to go. The baby was sleeping and she was fine. My girlfriend said it was to be able to go out and to not have to worry about the baby.

Sunday was our recovery day. We all just hung out and laughed about this weekend.

This week end I laughed until I cried.