I made a huge mistake yesterday. I spoke to my mother. She actually called to talk to Ryan, Because Ryan turned 14 yesterday. I made the mistake of actually talking to my mother.
I heard all about how hard her life is, and how much she needed a vacation. She did put off her vacation to Mexico until the child from hell was on spring break.
Please mother tell how hard is your life? Have you ever looked behind yourself to see all the destruction that you have caused? Have you ever wondered why people run from you?
O.K. lets see in the last month you have taken everything from my brother in law. Everything. I sit and wonder why? What gives you the right to walk into peoples lives and just tear them apart so that you can have your way?
Please mother tell me how hard your life is as you run away to Mexico for a much needed vacation. Please give me a vivid description of the sunset. Please keep whining to me about you not going on a vacation in 6 months. Maybe I will be able dig deep down in my sympathy jar and find some for you. I doubt that will happen since I have not had a no shit vacation in over 19 years. Rusty and I just planned a night out, and Nikki is bitching because it is the day after her birthday. My sympathy jar is empty.
Please mother, tell me, how do sleep at night, knowing that you still choose between your grandchildren. Please tell me how it feels to have your other grandchildren so badly want to to go on a vacation, and you don't even offer to take them. How does it feel to slowly be isolating your own grandchildren?
Please mother let me paint you a picture. See that red spot? That is my from my head banging against the wall, just hoping that you would love me. The green is for all the money that you are now trying to throw at me. Do you really think money is going to stop the hurt? Dark blue is color I have turned by biting my lips so many times. So many times I said nothing because I did not feel it was my place. Purple is the color I wear for mourning. Mourning the loss of a mother, because I am finally starting to just let go of the idea of a loving mother. Black and white are the colors I see in. I see them very clearly, you have made those colors very vivid for me.
The one color you are not going to take from me is sky blue. Blue is the sky and I am still going to reach for it, despite your best efforts to keep me down. You may have banged me up a little bit, but my wings still work and I will never allow you to clip them.