Tuesday, November 25, 2008

don't judge me

So here I sit. I am not feeling well today. I know it is stress related.
Yesterday morning was awesome. I got all my running around done. I got just about everything bought for Thanksgiving. I need to buy a pumpkin pie, and I need to go borrow some chairs.
So yesterday afternoon I sat down to call all of my medical bill people and give them my new insurance number. The second lady I called said "I am sorry but you have a share coast of $1,238.09. You have not paid that this month."
What? I knew I had a share coast, but WHAT! I called my case worker and he confirmed it. My share coast every month is $1,239.09. I then asked my case worker if I file for divorce and moved out would that change anything? The answer was yes, because then I would have no income.
Here is the kicker. The state is counting Ryan's social security. I can't believe they can do that. It is written very clearly that the social security is to be spent on Ryan. Not us. That is Ryan's money!
It is the same with Rusty's veterans benefits.
I asked my girlfriend if I could use her address and then move in with her. Once I file for divorce I will need a place to live. Yes, she said I could stay there.
Is this what my life has boiled down to. In order to get welfare to help pay for much needed medical care, I have to walk away from everything.
Here are the lessons I have learned.
1. do not serve this country in the military. You and your spouse will get screwed.
2. don't ever have an unexpected illness unless you have major medical coverage, and if you don't have medical coverage then you are screwed.
3. do not stay at home and raise your children. It will get you no where. After raising children for 18 years all I have gotten is nothing. I can't even get a job working fast food.
4. don't raise your children to well. Amber would get more money for college is she was a teenage mom or on drugs. I guess I should have let my children be latch key kids and I should have never watched them like hawks.
5. I need to go get thrown in jail. If I get sick while in jail then the city will have to pay for my surgery. Damn it. There I go trying to be a good person again.
6. If I file for divorce and walk away from everything I will get medical coverage. There I go again trying to do the right thing. I should just hop in my car and leave. At least if I am living in my car I could even get food stamps!
Rusty wants me to appeal this judgement. I can have a hearing on this case. I need to look into a few other programs. Maybe there is something out there and I am just not looking hard enough.
All I do know is that my coffee is getting cold, my eyes and stomach hurt and being sick sucks. Maybe this tumor will just grow so big that it popes out.


Pamela said...

I know they are cracking down on the social programs. I don't know what to say about that. I hope you can get taken care of soon.

Paula said...

Yes it seems the crooks and dead beats have it made in this day and time. I still say there will be a star in your crown someday. So sorry you're feeling bad and hope they do something soon for you.

a corgi said...

(((Kelli))) I'm so sorry!!! I totally hear you about this; when my daughter was in the throws of her depression, I desperately tried to get her help looking every single place I could and kept getting rejected; one place that would have been great for her for inpatient care was literally 5 miles away but would not take her because she didn't have the equivalent of MediCal insurance. I was able to get her that insurance since she was a special needs adoption but had not wanted to "use the system" so to speak because my husband's health insurance took care of most things, but to get her the help here, I applied for it and was granted it for her. When I called back the place that would not take her unless we have that insurance (mind you months had passed and she was more depressed and suicidal) they told me they could not help her because she was too sick for their program and they had to ship her down to Texas (no joke she went to Texas for 7 months of inpatient treatment when we lived in Montana) at an outrageous expense to the state. Had they worked with us before, it would have saved them so much money. They JUST DON'T GET IT!! You are not asking for a handout; you are asking to get your surgery done and then you will be able to manage your other health concerns. You are not asking to get a monthly check for welfare, you are asking for help for this major medical expense.

and you know this, but Ryan's money is for his expenses and you know you have to account for that money to be used for him GEESH!!!!!

appeal it; I'll help you fight it if you need my help.



Melissa said...

sorry for whatu are going thru, it always seems that the good ppl always get screwed. its not fair

Gerry said...

Oh my word, my word, well, you need to appeal, and see if that does any good. Just have to keep fighting, don't let them forget you, keep asking wht you are supposed to do if you do have a tumor growing. Lord! Gerry

Michelle said...


I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I'm here for you hon- I'll help you anyway I can!



Lori said...

That seems rather ridiculous. I hope that you can get something worked out, because that is just NOT RIGHT!

moshell's lilbit of space said...

Kelly, I know this system sucks, just go back and read old posts of mine in regards to Tony's (my hubby) SS case. It's crazy. He has a lung disease w/49% lung capacity (he is 41 y.o.). and I quote "although we agree mr. coomer has this disease and he is suffering we can not approve disability at this time"

yeah...just let him die, that will solve it all. We have had to file a federal suit to get the decision overturned and put back to the administrative law judge. F'n pathetic...but if I divorced him - he could get a medical card & such too.

Ok-but make sure the crackhead down the road from us keeps getting his check so he can ignore his children and buy more crack.

My thoughts are with you.

About Me

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lake elsinore, ca
I am a stay at home mom. I am also married to a veteran and he is the love of my life. I keep it real here and I hold nothing back. My life is a roller coaster ride, so strap on your seatbelt.... here we go!