So here I sit. I am not feeling well today. I know it is stress related.
Yesterday morning was awesome. I got all my running around done. I got just about everything bought for Thanksgiving. I need to buy a pumpkin pie, and I need to go borrow some chairs.
So yesterday afternoon I sat down to call all of my medical bill people and give them my new insurance number. The second lady I called said "I am sorry but you have a share coast of $1,238.09. You have not paid that this month."
What? I knew I had a share coast, but WHAT! I called my case worker and he confirmed it. My share coast every month is $1,239.09. I then asked my case worker if I file for divorce and moved out would that change anything? The answer was yes, because then I would have no income.
Here is the kicker. The state is counting Ryan's social security. I can't believe they can do that. It is written very clearly that the social security is to be spent on Ryan. Not us. That is Ryan's money!
It is the same with Rusty's veterans benefits.
I asked my girlfriend if I could use her address and then move in with her. Once I file for divorce I will need a place to live. Yes, she said I could stay there.
Is this what my life has boiled down to. In order to get welfare to help pay for much needed medical care, I have to walk away from everything.
Here are the lessons I have learned.
1. do not serve this country in the military. You and your spouse will get screwed.
2. don't ever have an unexpected illness unless you have major medical coverage, and if you don't have medical coverage then you are screwed.
3. do not stay at home and raise your children. It will get you no where. After raising children for 18 years all I have gotten is nothing. I can't even get a job working fast food.
4. don't raise your children to well. Amber would get more money for college is she was a teenage mom or on drugs. I guess I should have let my children be latch key kids and I should have never watched them like hawks.
5. I need to go get thrown in jail. If I get sick while in jail then the city will have to pay for my surgery. Damn it. There I go trying to be a good person again.
6. If I file for divorce and walk away from everything I will get medical coverage. There I go again trying to do the right thing. I should just hop in my car and leave. At least if I am living in my car I could even get food stamps!
Rusty wants me to appeal this judgement. I can have a hearing on this case. I need to look into a few other programs. Maybe there is something out there and I am just not looking hard enough.
All I do know is that my coffee is getting cold, my eyes and stomach hurt and being sick sucks. Maybe this tumor will just grow so big that it popes out.